What Kind of Fuckery Is This?

If you're one of the people who CAMPED OUT in front of the AT&T store yesterday to buy an iPhone, I reserve the right to point and laugh and post your photo here.

   

For fuck's sake, it's a phone. 

It's not a cure for cancer. 

It's not a ticket to see the Beatles reunion tour with newly-risen-from-the-grave original members.

It's not an opportunity to have a bucket of drinks with Vince Vaughn.

It's not even free candy.

Will someone please explain to me why people would take time off from work (because this shot was captured mid-afternoon and these people obviously have jobs) and wait in line for a stupid phone?  Does it connect you directly to Jesus?  Does it make you invisible or give you other assorted super powers?  Does it come with an automatic promotion, pay raise, or barring that, unlimited lap-dances?

Seriously, I would like to know.

P.S.  I would be even more smug right now had I not squealed yesterday when I learned I could email myself a photo with my phone...

Comments

[Ramona]

My friend sat outside for 9 hours waiting for her phone, in the heat, with her 4 month old baby. Can you say ASSHAT? ASSHAT.

[miriam]

What kind of fuckery is this?

Why, it is heinous fuckery.

(But shhhh. I bought apple stock and it is doing GREAT)

[Sheila]

"For fuck's sake, it's a phone."

GREATNESS!!! I love it!

[Tracey]

I have a manuscript due in six weeks.....I am sooo "Happy" "Happy" when I read that. That means you are coming out with another book. I heart u Jen Lancaster. My sister & I just discovered you 'bout a week ago. I just happened to pick up your book(2nd one) along w/a few others I hadn't planned to buy but just flip through while drink coffee.I began to read and cracked up. So I read a few lines to my sister. She started laughing too. We had a lot of people at Barnes n Noble looking at us like WTH. My sis then goes and gets your 1st book. She begans reading to me. We are laughing out loud. So now er'body thinks we are crazy for sure. We both purchased the books. Well I am reading book-2 sis is reading book-1. Sis is in Washington as we speak accompaning my nephew on a tour of WSU were he will attend in the fall. So I am sending her txt msg's tell her to read so I can have book one when she returns because I am almost done w/book-2.
I want you to know I totally get your humor. You are wonderful. I haven't even read book-1 yet and was already sad because there isn't another book. So when I read you have a manuscript due I was so happy. Get crack'in sister. :-) We are waiting.

Truly a fan,

Tray

ps Have never written an author before. FYI have written my share of complaint letters though. lol

pss I love good reality TV too. However, I have peasant vision (reg TV) I am cable free...it's the way to be 1.)have little people and I work 2.)can't afford it (couldn't justify the bill-not that important-especially on my budget)
I love your work. I'd sport a T-shirt for you . :-) I'd make my daughters wear one too. Keep up the great work you make me smile.

pss. Fletch really loves you girl! lol :-)

[cha cha]

Hey funny! i sent this post to me spouse and he thought it was SO FUNNY...the sad thing is, he's mr. get-the-newest-most-expensive-devices-the-moment-they-come-out.
Ha ha...he doesn't have an iphone!

[mrscollins]

I guess people just wanted to phone on launch day....

[cayce]

i ran into a guy on michicagn avenue saturday morning (the day AFTER the phones went on sale) who had 2 iphones in a sack. i asked him how long he waited in line and if he slept outside - he laughed and said he just walked right into the apple store, bought 2 iphones, and walked out! what was all the camping outside about??!!

[mrscollins]

I can't believe all this hate towards a phone!! If you don't want it then don't buy one. Simple As That! No one is forcing anyone to buy an iphone. An iphone is about the same price as the highest Gig ipod and a nice phone or Blackberry. Do the math!

And you do not have to replace the battery every 10-12 months.

Its just like any other high priced item that some people can't afford and others can...flat screen tv, luxury car, etc...I don' get mad at people for purchasing those.

[l]

You know I totally love you, right?

And oh, you have to get on your publisher's back...your new book IS NOT AVAILABLE at my campus bookstore (GMU Barnes & Noble).

[DonnaJEM]

I agree, I'd rather have shoes.
I have a cell phone only because my husband made me get one, in case of an emergency. I've had it for 4 years and have NEVER had to use it for an emergency. NEVER.
It's always for stupid shit, like "can you pick me up this on the way home?" or "hey, whatcha up do?"
I cannot imagine a battery that costs over $100.
I've always believed that people are generally stupid, but this really does take the cake.

[motherofbun]

$600!?! And I've heard some are having problems with working. Gah.

I'd rather have shoes. ANd candy.

[Natalie Stefano]

I'm kinda drunk right now but I would like to say that iphones are silly. Cingular probably has like boxes just sitting around because they haven't been sold.

[Alexandra]

The best thing I heard on the local news here in Memphis about the people from Louisana who were camping out was "well we didn't have anything better to do." How if you don't have a job or something else better to do can you afford to buy one of these phones. I have a job and I can't justify affording one. (If I really wanted one) Absolutly idiotic.

[Rebecca]

I replace my cell phone at LEAST yearly. Cell phones are worse than cars - at least my car still had a small percentage of its value once I drove it off the lot. The second a cell phone hits the store shelves it's outdated. In the past 4 years I have had five phones from Cingular/AT&T/name du jour - total cost to me: $0.00

[Sean]

What gets me is that all these people are getting these phones just to smash them to pieces. If you really want to just flush 600 dollars down the toilet, I have a car payment that you are more than welcome to pay.

[Yari]

Did you see on the news today about how people actually smashed their new Iphone? Just to see what was inside! It's a sick world we live in with sick people!

By the way loved Bitter is the New Black!

[Jen]

Wait, people were getting $20/hour to wait in line? Kind of puts my $11/hour temping-and-running-my-ass-off into perspective, doesn't it?

Shoot, had I known I could get $20/hour to sit in a lawn chair and read a book and take advantage of someone with more money than sense, I'd have been all over it.

[En Wrapture]

January's MacWorld, i-phone under glass, people mobbed around said phone, arms raised high overhead, snapping photos of said phone with their cell phones - Enigma.

[Daphne]

I think they should be tied down and have that $600 phone shoved where the sun don't shine. What ever happened to using a cell phone for just making calls?

[Alias Mother]

Oh, bless you. Frankly, these Apple people are really beginning to irritate the piss right out of me. It's a phone. Just like th iPod is a music. And a Mac is a computer. These things do not make you smarter, hipper, closer to god, or cooler than me. Nor do they put you in an exclusive club with Steve Jobs.

I feel like such a truth-teller today.

[JZMom]

Okay, I have to admit that I think the iPhone is pretty cool. Then again, I'm a Mac person, so I think an iAnything makes sense. I will wait, though, for the second generation.

The funniest part is the way people used Craig's List for this, at least around here. (Boston) The phone went on sale at 6:00; people offered to pay other people to wait in line for them until 6:00. They had to agree to get out of the line, not offering "cuts", since we all know what happens when you let someone cut in front of you in line on pizza day in the cafeteria.

I think people were offering something like $20 per hour. Too much!

[Tammy]

Can I get an Amen? Those people suck.

[Contrary]

Because once again I am late to the game, allow me to squeal for a moment over the fact that you have comments now. (squealing) (not like a pig) (or like Ned Beatty for that matter)

Ok, now that's done, I have to admit that I totally would have stood in line to buy Pookie that phone. The man never asks for anything and if a grown man can slaver, he has been slavering over those phones.

Of course, they cost a katrillion kagillion dollars and I have to buy dog food in amounts that makes the CEO of Pedigree pet foods giggle in his sleep, so Pookie didn't get a phone.

[Gina B.]

It's a geek paradise.

[Denise]

Re: the clip from "Best Week Ever" mentioned by Jodi above: When the reporters first went up to that guy, the conversation went something like this:

Reporter: So, you're first in like for the iPhone, huh?

"Retired" guy (grinning stupidly): "Yeah".

Reporter: So, do you have a girlfriend?

"Retired" guy (smile fading): Uh, no.

That killed me!!!!

[Stefanie]

Not that I would pay that insane amount for a phone, But seriously lets talk about the battery.

Why the hell would I want a phone that needs a new $115 battery every 10-12 months? OH and you cant buy the battery from a store like every other gadget out there, this one has to be sent back to apple for a replacement at which time you also have to pay $39 for a loaner phone while yours is away for 2 weeks getting a new battery.

YEAH RIGHT! Way to go Apple

[Stefanie]

Not that I would pay that insane amount for a phone, But seriously lets talk about the battery.

Why the hell would I want a phone that needs a new $115 battery every 10-12 months? OH and you cant buy the battery from a store like every other gadget out there, this one has to be sent back to apple for a replacement at which time you also have to pay $39 for a loaner phone while yours is away for 2 weeks getting a new battery.

YEAH RIGHT! Way to go Apple

[Suzy]

I can't believe the iPhone frenzy replaced the iParis frenzy.

Apparently people cannot prioritize correctly.

Fools.

[Shannon]

LOL all the people in Manhattan were CRAZY... I'm not impressed by it. It doesn't even have a stylus! You'd get fingerprints all over it. Plus, the battery isn't removable and can only be recharged a certain amount of times. What happens in 18 months?

[Traci]

Boyfriend came home with one yesterday. He was not amused by my skeptical, "you're an idiot" look.

Except now, he can't even get the damn thing activated until tomorrow, because AT&T/Cingular SUCK.

I'm trying really hard not to smirk.

[Jo]

Did you see this footage in NYC? I laughed for a good ten minutes:

http://www.tmz.com/2007/06/29/moron-steals-fox-mic-leaves-iphone/

[lini]

Jenn, I'm just sad that I didn't get one yesterday because I'm fat and lazy and refuse to sweat in the Texas heat for 12 hours....although it's so fucking expensive it bettter make me a ham sandwich when I'm hungry when I actually get my hands on one.

[Tinsley]

I hear that. These pics have been popping up all over the net, and while I'm a huge fan of technology, you will NEVER see me waiting in line to get something hot of the shelf!

[Kristabella]

On Best Week Ever they had the dude who was first in line in NYC for the phone. And they asked him what he did for a living. And he was all "I'm, uh, retired."

I'm totally using that the next time I'm unemployed. "I wasn't shitcanned, I'm retired."

Losers.

[Jodi]

personally? I would rather set $600 on fire and stay in bed...camping out for a phone? Crazy crazy bullshit. You know that shit will be lost or broken in a week...and...if it is at my house? It would end up in the toilet...just like my "hot new razor phone" did a few years ago. Here is an idea. Make a water proof phone and I'll spend a gagillion for it.

[MS]

that's not the worst of it-you have to commit to two years worth of "enhanced" service with ATT to the tune of anywhere from $1500 to $2K for the next two years. And ATT has some of the worst cell-phone connections in the nation. Plus it does not play well with IE, won't synch with your outlook and is said to be all but impossible to type on. I'm not sure what the point is. "I'm so rich I have unlimited money to blow" or "I'm too stupid to be allowed out without a guardian?"

[Beth]

Amen! Of course, I am in a suburb of Philadelphia (so sorry you had to be subjected to the horror that is 10! on Channel 10 at 10 btw) and the mayor had nothing better to do than get in line at 3 am for one of these things. I guess finding a solution to all of the murders in the city could wait while "his honor" got his new toy...

[Jennifer]

$599 for an EIGHT GB phone? How much music is that going to hold? Bitches, please...

[Aimee]

Stopped by the Apple store at the mall after seeing a movie with my husband and little girl...picked up an iphone and looked at it for a minute. It doesn't look to impressive to me. I'm not sure what it does that makes it such a hot item. My daughter and I had fun playing with the photo booth on the mac book though!

[Lisa M]

Oops, wait I just saw something about one for $499 with 4 GB memory + a 2 year contract. The other, with 8 GB is $599 with a 2 year contract with Cingular/ATT/Whatev they are going by this month.

Here, from Jobs himself, he's so proud.
http://gizmodo.com/gadgets/macworld2007/the-iphone-price--499-4gb-599-8gb-in-june-227429.php

In LisaWorld, it's $600 anyway you slice it.

[Jen]

Wait, they cost SIX HUNDRED DOLLARS?? And people are camped out to happily pay that?

Astounding.

And frightening.

[michelle]

Ok, I love how you are all "ninja like" taking the picture in your car.

[Lisa M]

Amen! Seeing these people camped out is humorous, at best. Also, what about that old adage of the new models always have something wrong with them. I know I don't buy a newly designed or redesigned car. Same thing with software. Does anyone remember all the whining about Win95? I do and don't care to spend upwards of $600+ to try out a new phone. I'll wait, tyvm.