Briefly

Overheard at the grocery store tonight:

"So I said, 'Get your clothes on, we're going to Red Lobster, bitch.'"

Two hours later, it's still funny.

Comments

[Maura]

For the seafood lover in you!!
That almost tops the time when I went to Wal-Mart (yes, I was desperate) and I heard a woman say to her kids not in a joking manner: "Do we need any Shit paper at home?"
Stay classy America.

[Bob]

A good marriage is made in heaven - shack ups, not so much.

[BeatsMe]

Overheard in Target (yea!) parking lot in Chesapeake, VA:

Husband: *grunting and grumbling while trying to push something into the boot of the car*

Wife: *looking concerned* "Can I help?"

Husband: "Well, if you didn't have so much junk in your trunk..."

The rest of that convo died off pretty quickly as my sister and I doubled over on the tarmac, mascara dripping, and repeating a-la Beavis "you just told your wife she has too much..."

If that couple is not in counseling, I really wish them the best and I apologize if I brought any bad feelings out.

Well, not really...

[New Diva on the Blog]

Thank God, proof that romance and chivalry are not dead!

[keipchick]

Carrotpenis-you are my new best friend! Thank you for introducing me to the joy that is overheardinnewyork.com. I'm causing much alarm at my office by repeatedly bursting into spontaneous laughter.

[Susan]

Clearly that person was confused. Everyone KNOWS Red Lobster is best enjoyed naked.

[Susan]

Clearly that person was confused. Everyone KNOWS Red Lobster is best enjoyed naked.

[Sarah]

Too funny! I laughed about this all the way to the grocery store myself yesterday.

I heard the following while doing my own shopping: "Don't throw any more bananas in the cart! Im already constipated."

[ally]

Aw. I love Red Lobster. It's a white trash holiday for sure. The dish I find that perfectly captures the irony and essence of Red Lobster is the Lobster fondue. I swear it's made with imitation crab and Velveeta, but it is damn good. ;-)

[Cat]

Man, I LOVE Red Lobster... :)

[Kelli]

As my husband and I were getting gas at the station, we overheard the following comment from a customer who pulled up to on "out of order" pump--
"Why be there ain't no gas?"

Sadly, it has become our new catch phrase whenever we are out of something at our house.

[Rebecca]

Overheard while trekking 8 miles from car parking to front entrance of Six Flags New England:

QuackkPblttttttttttttttttQuackkkk

Yep that's right. Dude in front of us cut the cheese loud as heck and didn't even have the decency to warn us or excuse himself!!!!

[Kate]

Everyone needs a little white trash dialouge to realize, "hey, my life is ok."

BWT...My husband hates you now beacuse I wrote a list of Kate-Commandments!!!

[keipchick]

I was in a mall in South Florida this weekend and overheard a young thuggy looking guy telling his knocked up galpal that
"Jail f**ked up my life, house arrest f**ked up my life, killing that guy f**ked up my life..." and then he veered off into a store. I wanted to follow him to find out how that story ended but my hubby wouldn't let me. I will always regret not knowing

[carrotpenis]

Hilarious.. I have been reading Overheard in New York lately. It's a great time killer at work.

www.overheardinnewyork.com

[Sean]

It wasn't by any chance Britney you overheard. I'm sure she's a big fan of The Red Lobster, y'all

[former_colleague]

Overheard at Walgreen's in Ft. Myers, FL at midnight on a sunday.

WT to salesclerk: "got any matches? I need matches."
salesclerk: "We don't have matches. We have lighters"
WT: "I can't take a lighter on the plane. You've got the have matches. Let me look."
WT tries to walk behind counter
WT sees no matches
WT walks off to ask someone else
WT loudly asks for matches
WT doesn't find them
WT comes back
WT to salesclerk: "I guess you don't have matches"
Me doing everything possible not to comment to WT something to the effect of "wow, so the really friendly salesclerk who WORKS HERE actually knew what they had for sale. Wow. Go figure."

Because I know Jen would want to know this info ... WT did not have a mullet, nor a porn 'stache.

[Gina B.]

Wow. i think I dated that guy.

[Mandy]

Overheard in Tunica, MS at the craps table one evening just after a group of guys won some amount of cash and started jumping around and high fiving each other:
"Woo Hoo! MAN! We goin' to Applebee's tonight!"

[Heather B.]

Thank you. Now I shall sleep perchance to dream of cheesy biscuits and all you can eat deep fried shrimp.

Remind me to thank you tomorrow evening when I've dragged my family there for the aforementioned reasons.

[Carrie]

Excellent.

Hopefully he and his bitch got their fill of cheesy biscuits.

I served tables for a year in college, and will gladly go the rest of my life without hearing one more person for another basket of those little "cheesy balls".

[Jessica]

If you think that's good try this one on for size.

"I can't be in this classroom it's to small, there's no room to fart in a room this small, now in a big classroom there's room to fart, but I can't be fartin in here"

Ahhh, what a wonderful welcome back to school. You've gotta love the things your students say!

[Kodi]

that made my day!! i think the next time i see my boyfriend that may be the first thing i say to him. No i can only wonder if whoever said that even realizes how silly it was, ha ha

[clemsongirl]

Just posted about "The" Red Lobster this weekend, must be going around...too freaking funny!!!

[Kat]

Hey Jen just wondering how young do you think your youngest reader of your book is????? Well I'm 12 and I read your book and it was HILARIOUS!!!!! If you do happen to have time to write me please do. (My email's katiebird423@gmail.com!!!!)

ps-- you might think that 12year olds wouldnt get this stuff but i actually did and it was a really good book!!!!!

[Christine]

Yesterday I overheard a good one too-

"I need a new nose ring."

I honestly never anticipated hearing that sentence.

[Vicki]

OH MY GOD!! That is so hilarious...my husband just walked in while I was starting to write this and he asked me what I was doing. I kindly responded with "posting a comment to the author of that KICK ASS book I just finished reading" he replied..."WHY" and after I looked at him like he just kicked the dog I proceeded to read him your entry on August 11...his response "mmm do you want to go to Red Lobster? yummy cheese biscuits"...good grief!!!!!

[AJ]

Red Lobster?? That's klassy. With a K.

[Lisa M]

Aww, ain't life just grand. Nothing says lovin' like calling your broad a bitch.

[Shannon]

Oh how I miss the days of hearing my boyfriend saying that same exact sentence to me. Of course, I would always reply with, "keep your wife beater on. Now find my bra. It has to be somewhere in this trailer."

[trish]

hey jennilicious! thanks for the giggles, and for the awesome book, Bitter is the New Black. I actually found the book while hanging out in my local Barnes & Noble in the middle of the night with my 11 year old daughter waiting for Harry Potter. At some point I realized the whole idea was crazy, and your book caught my eye...okay, a book with a little picture of a cute dress caught my eye! After reading a few pages, I had to make it mine, and consequently read it in only a few days. Have already mailed it to my sister who lives in Oak Park, and I know she will laugh her ass off! Thanks for the brutal honesty...and the blogg? I have never laughed so hard out loud in my life! I tried to tell my husband what was so funny (re: douche nozzle) and I nearly split a gut!