I Break for Brilliance

I hate being sold to.

I don't hate buying things (obviously), but I loathe the feeling of being on the receiving end of a sales pitch.

Because I despise being pitched on what to buy, I almost never watch commercials, thanks to two heavily employed TiVos. 

Advertisers understand I'm not alone in my dislike, so they're trying different means of catching our attention such as product placement.  Often these attempts fall flat and only serve to annoy me more, e.g. Top Chef.  What are you saying, Padma?  That I should cook my Bertolli pasta in this Calphalon pan and then save the leftovers in Gladware, all of which I can purchase at Wild Oats Market after I've driven there in my RAV4?  Each week my friend Stacey and I watch Top Chef together and contemplate playing a product-placement drinking game, except neither of our livers can process that much liquor.

Honestly, I'm tired of being told I can vote for my favorite contestants via my T-Mobile phone.  I can't stand hearing the ANTM hamsters woodenly discuss how long-wearing their Cover Girl mascara is and how cute their Payless shoes are.  And if Jack Bauer mentions Cisco one more time, he will no longer be my pretend boyfriend.  I'm sick to death of being assaulted by a constant barrage of ads for shit no one needs and this is exactly why you'll never see them on this website.  (However, I do post links to purchase my books, as I consider these to be part of the "shit people do need" category.)

Anyway, all of the above reasons are exactly why I'm so freaking in love with this piece of viral advertising by Smirnoff.

I'd like to offer a hearty congratulations to your ad agency, Smirnoff, because A) I'm pimping your product for you without renumeration, B) I'm taking time away from writing my book to do so, and C) I'm still not even sure what it is.

I just know I want it.

OK, back to writing now.

(And possibly compulsively checking the Big Brother 8 message boards.)

Comments

[Tiffany]

If you go to their page, teapartay.com there is also a "West Coast" version of the video. It's pretty bad. I like this one much better.

[DementedM]

You're not one to pass up a good polo and a nice string of pearls :) I think Smirnoff made this for you.

M

[Lily]

FYI, it's "reMuNeration", not "renumeration."

[l]

That is the funniest thing I've seen since...I don't know...forever.

[Shut My Mouth]

I do not know any WASPs who drink Smirnoff, at least not down here in the Dirty South. Please, my Brooks Brothers wearing peeps, do not let Smirnoff sway you. It's Grey Goose or we walk, bitches.

And if you're done with Jack Bauer, can I have 'em? He could hock Viagra and I'd still smack that.

[michele]

i love this!!! Too funny.. have you seen the oldspice red commercial with the pubes on the soap... that one is pretty funny as well.

[Y]

I just have to say that last night's episode made me wish I had your phone number.

"Hallelujah! The magic ping pong ball!"

HAHAH.

[giggloki]

That is some funny shit. Yo!

[Alexandra]

If you enjoyed that you must check out Lord T & Eloise. They have an equally brilliant music video and they are not hawking any product. They are pioneering the Aristocratic Rap catagory with their new cd Aristocrunk.

http://www.myspace.com/lordtandeloise

To my ladies is a good song as well as Palm Beach.

[Susan]

Okay, totally don't know what they are promoting here, but I was so intrigued that I went to their website (teapartay.com), and found this:
http://teapartay.com/EastCoast_Prepsta_Guide.html
THE PREPSTER'S HANDBOOK. Oh man, is this great. I think, Jen, that you will really love this. Unless I'm wrong, and then you won't like it and will have wasted your time on viewing said book. Eh, who am I kidding - you'll love it! :)

[Jamie from houston]

Are you sure this isn't a commercial for J Crew? I'm pretty sure those pimped out whale emroidered khakis could be found in their catalog. I especially love the dainty foot tapping by pink-shirt guy at the tennis court.

...in cursive.

love it.

[karmaoncatnip]

A movie called Idiocracy comes to mind here. A man (Luke Wilson) with no purpose in his current life gets put into an a frozen capsule and moves 1000 years forward, only to find that society has degraded mostly due to advertisement and brand names. People came too concerned on how to look better and stopped the funding for solving world problems. Brand names bought every corporation in the world and general intelligence degraded. It's sad, but in a cinical way I think of that movie everytime I see a commercial like the "Abs Body Spray." The only thing you hear is "I want your bod." and see some abs and other sweaty body parts with some porno music in the background. That being said, I just remembered I have some Smirnoff..

[celynnen]

not to be a pedantic bitch - oh who am I kidding? of course I'm a pedantic bitch* - but it's spelled re-mun-eration. think munny, hunny.

*and also youtube is blocked at work so I can't see what y'all are laughing about until I get home tonight; which will be very late because I'm going to a baseball game first >=o( and thus I cannot add to the commentary and general worship

[Rebecca]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GWzNiUXTh7E

Check out the West Coast version

[Dodi]

OK, whoever Smirnoff is using for it's ad's is budget well spent. The east coast / west coast shit is priceless! Brilliant.

I'm buyin me some. Y'all.

[Sils]

I sent this to my bestest friend ever a while ago, having grown up in the north east (a hot bed of preppy tennis whites) we were giggling at it for all the wrong reasons.

I especially love the thank you note, in cursive.

[SF Girl]

Why are you slamming Cisco...what did they do to you?

[Stefanie]

Jen You must check out the west coast version of that ad!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=GWzNiUXTh7E

Hysterical. I like the east coast ad better!

[Lady Latte]

I am so jelous of your tivo, it does not exist yet in Sweden. I am sick of all these gameshows you have to call into. They ask a dumbass easy question with four alternatives and tell you how much such a call will cost.

I cannot believe that people fall for that. An easy question, then may will call and finance the show where you can win xxx kronor (in Sweden).

However, we do have a system for the phone called NIX where they cannot call you to sell something, unless you are already a customer of theirs. I could not stand having people use up my spare time listening to pitches about anything!!

[kate]

that is hysterical!

I love it!

[Melissa in Chicago]

OMG.....after I died laughing, I HAD to google this one! Damn product placement!

[Jessica]

BWWWWAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That is perfection, my friend!

[Aimee]

Like, o my god! You must have thought you died and went to preppy heaven! I think I want to have a tea partay!

[Italian-American Princess]

Please find me that pink argyle sweater!

If I drank, I would so drink Smirnoff. Just for that commercial, yo.

Keepin' it real in my polos!

[Kelly]

Way to represent New England! I'm a lifelong "Masshole", and I must say this is a damn fine depiction of our preppy region. Thanks for sharing - this is going on my MySpace!

[JZMom]

They had you at the pearls......

LOVE this!

[Rachel]

Best. Commercial. Ever.

[Rachel]

Best. Commercial. Ever.

[Susie Sunshine]

Of course you linked it, THESE ARE YOUR PEOPLE.

[Angela]

hysterical! thanks for making my day jen! can't wait to forward this to the H-town book club beeotches...OUT!

[AJMICK]

Yo Yo Where my WASPs at?

Am dying here!

Forwarded to everyone...

Thank you!

[Jennifer]

One of the funniest things I have ever seen.

[Kelsey]

I can't stop watching this. It's hilarious. Too bad I'm not 21, because I'm definitely sold.

[Liz]

1. I couldnt agree more re: Top Chef. If you pay close attention to the audio, you can tell that a lot of the GladWare/Bertolli ad talk is dubbed in in post- thats why you usually get the camera panning over the contestant's faces when Padma is saying all that sh*t. Its like they couldnt get enough in during taping, so the force it in after the fact.

2. I am so spoiled with DVR/Tivo that I actually tape my fav shows while I am home, and while they are on, I'll watch stuff I previously DVR'd, and then when the show is over, I'll watch it so that I can fast forward thru the commericals :)

[janie]

I work in the field of domestic violence/sexual assault and was on-line looking for some ads (yes there are ads about these things) and I needed a break so of course I came to you :-) and I was not disappointed. AWESOME Smirnoff ad....still laughing and I've watched it 5 times. Well....back to work.Thanks Jenn.

[Shannon Anicas]

OMG! that was hy-ster-ical!

So are you tempted to watch the 2 Corey's Show too? Shhh don't tell but I just set my DVR to tape them :)

[Sean]

This is my thank you note for showing me this video...in cursive.

[Shelliu]

I seriously have to have that pink argyle sweater!

(don't you totally want CJ to win Top Chef?)

[Alanna]

Your posts always make me laugh uncontrollably! Love it!

[KatieC]

I'm a copywriter at an ad agency, and every day I think about how my work - if done well - only contributes to the vapid consumerism I so detest.

Ahem, on the other hand, I do love me a zingy slogan.

With such conflict in my professional/personal lives, is it any wonder that I'm reading your blog instead of developing taglines?

[SavingDiva]

I just read your book, Bitter is the New Black, in under 24 hours. I loved it! I can't get enough....so I thought I would check out your blog...

[Emily the Strange]

They now have ads in bathroom stalls - nowhere is sacred! Of course, if all ads were this clever and entertaining, I might not mind so much. But, alas, such is not the case. Sigh.

[Blonde Chick]

I agree 100% on this one. Commercials have gone beyong being a nuisance, and are on the verge of becoming downright invasive. I have gotten so spoiled with my DVR, I very rarely watch "Live TV" anymore. On the rare occasion I find myself sitting and watching TV live, I have a bad habit of keeping my finger perched on the "Skip" button ready to zip through the commercials.

Then I beat myself over the head when I realize that it doesn't work on non-recorded shows. LOL

[Squeaky Wheel]

No one's harder than a New England gangsta.

[Laura]

LOL! That's some funny shit!!!!

[Susan]

I hate product placement. It is so distracting.

(And I may have posted this twice because Typepad gave me an error and said my post didn't go through.)

[Jen]

P.S. How sad is it that I knew about Jen and Eric's hot tub conversation via JokersUpdates.com before I learned about Karl Rove's resignation via the Drudge Report?