The Audacity of Hate

Who likes hate mail?

I do, I do!

Here's an absolute gem from today's mailbag:

Dear Jennifer,

I enjoyed your first "literary effort" a great deal although the astericks (sic - I think she means quotation marks) (and possibly a different spelling) got a bit annoying, I do realize that's part of your (sic) "schtick."  Naturally, I purchased your follow up and quite frankly was instantly turned off by the Fox "News" and Sean Hannity ("Sean Insanity" as I refer to him) references.  The final nail in the coffin though, was the part where you are on the bus and pull the Ann Coulter ("Man Coulter" imho) out of your tote bag.  My limit with you particular sensibilities was reached and I didn't even bother to use the drop box at the library (as a donation.)  It went right into the garbage compacter (sic) (to make certain it was good and truly crushed and destroyed.)

I feel bad for you.  You seemed like someone cool to hang out with, fun to read, etc...

Mare

My response?

You'll be missed.  "Not."

And then I laughed myself into an asthma attack and made some waffles.

Later, after I finished breakfast, I began to really think about the contents of this note as it relates to my writing.  In Bright Lights, Big Ass, it's true, I do mention I'm conservative.  And I mention I like FOX, Sean, and Ann because I do like them.  Rush, too.  Which in no way implies I hold every single thing they say to be God's Own Truth. 

Why? 

Because I'm capable of critical thinking and drawing my own conclusions based on material presented.   And because I can read and enjoy something without having to be in complete conceptual agreement.

What gets me about Mare's email is I go to great lengths to scrub my writing of conservative commentary.  I respect my readers and I'm well aware many of them have Obama 08 stickers on the back of their cars. 

(And that's pretty cool.  It's exciting to see Americans so damn fired up about a candidate, regardless of whether or not that politician reflects my views.) 

Speaking of my views, I'm extraordinarily careful not to touch on polarizing topics such as terrorism, gun control, Social Security, etc.  Yeah, there are venues where I express my political ideology, but my books aren't one of them.  I'd rather share the stuff that unites us, like our collective fear of taking our pants off in front of medical professionals or why our grocery stores play so damn much Journey.  And, please, the most political among us have been able to set aside differing opinions and enjoy each other's company, e.g. Tip O'Neill and Ronald Reagan routinely getting together for cold drinks and story-telling even after the most bloody battles on the House floor. 

For Mare to have such a violent reaction at my opposing views is just kind of... ignorant.  Especially when she never even heard (a) what that opinion entails or (b) the thought process behind it.  That'd be like me dismissing her because she sells 3M window film (note:  please refrain from using a Google-stalkable address when sending hate mail) or loathing anyone who doesn't eat waffles.

Were I to limit my exposure to those who exclusively shared my ideals, then the only person I'd ever talk to would be my husband.  As much as I love him, I'd be missing out on knowing a lot of great people.

Mare says she feels sorry for me. 

Which... really?

Because I feel sorry for you, Mare.  I'm sorry you feel that opposing (albeit unknown) viewpoints are such an anathema.  I'm sorry your mind is so closed that you can't get past the specifics of a small fraction of the TV I watch and the books that I read.  And I'm sorry you had to burn the time and gray matter this morning to let me know exactly how offensive my (unspoken) views are.

Again, you'll be missed. 

Not.

P.S.  You realize now I'm obligated to take the two dollars I earned from your purchase to buy Ann's newest, right?

Comments

[Tina]

Count me in as another liberal (even pinko socialist) Jen fan. I have to admit that it really bothered me when it finally dawned on me that yes, Jen's a conservative. And I will also readily admit that the Ann Coulter references make me a little queasy, however, the books aren't really about politics at all. And doesn't this whole conversation say something about the state of affairs in this country? This whole experience has made me realize how close minded I am capable of being. After all, few books have EVER made me laugh my ass off the way your books have. Further, I would absolutely love to share a cocktail (or two) with you. Perhaps the lesson to take away from all of this is that yes, there is a truly AMERICAN experience out there that transcends red state/blue state rhetoric.

[J]

So Mare is an intolerant liberal! What are the odds?(heavy sarcasm now off)
Why didn't Mare just do what she wanted to do with your book, without having to write and tell you what she did? Oh yeah, those kind need lots of attention.

[Becky]

So I posted a little earlier but it seems I forgot to post my political stance and Ann Coulter position.

Conservative. Love her. Love. Her.

Rock on Jen. I just discovered this blog and have now spent the last half of the day here. I laughed the whole time.

[TheBabblingHousewife]

PS... I am a single, professional woman living in Chicago.

[Min]

Hi Jen... regardless of the political references, I think your second book did lack the -- let's call it -- plot of the first. To me it seemed like a series of Jennsylvania comments slapped together between one cover. So, please, let Mere or me or whomever express our opinions, as this is America. I will continue, however, to buy and read your books because I enjoy you as a writer. So then -- so what if I don't like parts of them! You already have my money!

[TheBabblingHousewife]

Use to $2 to make these...

Sweet potato waffles http://www.recipezaar.com/45237

[Jo]

Jen, they don't like Ann cuz she tells it like it is. Look how much they say they love Rosie cuz she "speaks her mind" and "isn't afraid" and all the other liberal doublespeak that they throw out the window when they find a conservative gal who does the same thing. And they hate Fox News cuz it's the place where you find out the news that the other media outlets did NOT want you to know about.

Anyway, I actually haven't read any of your books, but am going to go get one pronto!

And Mere, I think you forgot Rule #1 on the Liberal Platform. Be tolerant! lol.

[Aimee]

I'm another fan of yours that cannot stand Ann Coulter, but I HEART you big time! You make me laugh. You tell the truth. And I know I would have a blast hanging out with you despite our differences. One of my best friends is a born again Christian (whom, if she truly believes what she claims to believe...believes I will burn in hell because I am not a Christian...and we simply don't discuss religion and politics. Our friendship is based on other common interests and we have a lot of fun together. MARE...CHILL!!!

[Kira]

I am also one of your liberal fans and I am pretty sure I hate Ann Coulter and Fox News as much as Mare but I still think you would be cool to hang out with, you'd definitely be a lot more fun than Mare.

[Janice]

some of my best friends are conservatives...

[karen]

Comment to "Jen" who posted her comment on 10/6 at 6:23 - (1) yes, you do have too much time on your hands, and (2) some of us like living in the "wasteland" known as Texas. Get a life...

[Becky]

I must have these books. Now. Well, waffles first, but then....

[Ami]

Maybe she's so angry because she's hungry and she needs to suck it up and eat a waffle!

[Julie]

oh now that is funny. you must mean something to her if she took the time to write how much she hates your book. Girl i almost cried when bright lights, big ass was over. i can't wait for book 3.
and mare sure does make herself sound like a dumbass by first of all buyng a book she knew she wouldn't like and 2nd of all, saying she threw it away. way to waste $14 fucktard.

you rock girlfriend. keep writing

[cayce]

excellent post, jen! i constantly admire you for your ability to stand up for yourself and stick to your ideals, even in the face of constant criticism (even if it comes from ignorant people). as a conservaative person living in chicago myself, i often find myself keeping quiet when such topics arise. kudos to you!!

[Karen]

I love reading fellow conservatives but your wit and talent would guaranty that I would read your books anyway.

[Kim]

So does this mean Mare would hang with Maisy but dismiss the rest of you and your Jentourage? What a dumbass. Also, 3M Window Film? Really, Mare? As a fellow liberal I hang my head in shame.

[chelsea]

So, I just finished Bitter is the New Black, and it was my companion for a solid three days, until I finished it, and I was going through a aparticularly shitty time, but the boook was my "friend" so to speak.

I am not conservative. I am very liberal, very exciting about Obama, etc. etc.
I'm a musician, and a writer and hippie through and through, HOWEVER, I RESPECT, love, and generally gravitate towards anyone with a strong opinion, regardless of if it matches my own.
Because I find the passion one can have about anything is inspiring, and you have to remain open minded- respect differing opinions. I think its great, even if our thoughts differ in that aspect, I related to your book as if I wrote it myself, so....it just goes to show, we're not all that different.

I will be buying your next book.
;)

[Brandi]

Wow! My first hate e-mail! Thanks! I feel so honored.

[Jessica]

People like Mare make me feel like I need to explain that yes, I'm a liberal-- but I have a sense of humor, too! Some of my best friends are conservatives, but, you know, we don't dwell on it. Instead we dwell on Britney, wine, 'Angel' on DVD, and squee-ing over your books (she's in Chicago this weekend, if she sees you she better be enough of a fangirl for the both of us).

Mmmmm... waffles sound way better than the Starbucks run I did this morning. Yay waffles!

[Linda]

I'm another liberal who loves you. I have to overlook the Coulter love, but I can do that. In spite of the "God forbid (oops, can I still mention God's name?) conservatives share their opinions along with the rest of the liberals." shtick that people like brandi up there insist on dragging out. Most intelligent people are capable of having a discussion and respecting one another’s views without resorting to hyperbole or name-calling.

And yes brandi, you are, of course, allowed to mention God’s name. Just like you always were, and you have never been denied that right. You should ask the ACLU to take up your cause if it ever does happen to you. Right now they are defending a young man’s right to wear his hair long in accordance with his beliefs and attend school in spite of the school’s insistence that he cut it.

I’d be delighted to hear all about the times you were denied the right to practice your religion because of us dirty liberals.

[Brandi]

Just read your first book last weekend and became an instant, avid fan. Bought your second at Borders last night. The fact that you're so damn hilarious and honest and outspoken is most of the reason I love your writing. But another, smaller factor is that you are a young conservative, like myself. God forbid (oops, can I still mention God's name?) conservatives share their opinions along with the rest of the liberals. That's all now. Can't wait for your next book! Thanks for the laughs!
Brandi
WV

[Kmacum]

You and I defintiely do not share the same political views, but that doesn't make your books any less enjoyable to read. In fact, knowing your *cough* a conservative, added a bit of respect in my mind. It allows me to hear the other side of the argument from someone that I respect (that would be you). You're right though, you don't go into details about your views. You just mentioned that you were reading a book.

Anyone who is so closed minded that they can't enjoy reading a book by someone who doesn't share the same political views isn't a true reader and they're close-minded.

You rock...despite the fact that you read Ann Coulter. I can overlook that because you used her book as a means to get people to stop talking to you. Maybe I should try that tactic....

Signed,
Fan (but not a stalker fan, though if I ever came to Chicago I might be inclined to "accidentally" run into you for you an autograph for my books...okay, probably not, but that would be so cool!)

[Geri]

Jen,

I love you, and I love waffles. Mere can piss off.

Geri

[Susan]

I'm also a liberal who loves your work. Some people just take things too damn seriously.

Also, I really want waffles now.

[WaltiePoo]

Wait! Wait! Let's not gloss over those waffles! What kind of waffles?

[Emily]

Oh, hilarious!!! My mother and I are both proud, stubborn, liberals, and this does not stop us from frequenting your blog, buying your books, and recommending you to everyone we know.
Also, Mare could take a cue from your writing. While you are easy to read, funny, and smart, she sounds ridiculous. "My limit with your particular sensibilities"?! Seriously?! No one talks like that. If you're going to take the time to write hate mail, at least make it juicy (a la your letter to the alderman in BLBA). Thanks for giving me a good laugh today!

[sweetney]

you're well aware of the fact that you and i don't share the same political views, but i hope you also know that 1) i love the crap out of you, and 2) think you rule. wow people, you can actually LIKE and associate with people whose political views don't mirror yours! in fact, it makes life more interesting! look into it! snort.

[Cher]

This reminds me of a comment I saw on my favorite band's myspace page recently. The person posting said she could no longer be a fan of the band because of their liberal views that they've mentioned in the past but never have sung about... which, I'm sorry, is stupid. If you liked their music in the past, and they're not singing about voting for Hillary or Obama or anyone else, then why would you stop listening? People who are that stubborn and close-minded make me sad... because they're cutting themselves off from something (or someone) that they previously liked for a shallow reason. I may not have the same views as you, Jen (far from it actually), but I love reading what you have to say anyway :)

[Kari]

I love it all.... your opinions (whether or not I agree) and especially the cussing! I never realized how many lame ass people take time out of their 'busy'lives to write hate mail. So sad... not!

[Alli]

Please add me to your list of liberal fans who detest Ann but adore you and your work. Our country has become so polarized in the past few years, so kudos to you for uniting us with your with your wit and geniosity. Thanks for all you do!

[Benjamin Kissell]

psychotic little monkeys like Mare remind me why i chose to follow my writing passion ... because, you can't please everyone, and when you can't please everyone, you please yourself!

we all represent ourselves with our words and, unfortunately, context as well as how much we say is an aspect of how we are judged, deemed and esteemed by the public and world at large.

just because you enjoy the Foxers, doesn't mean you hold them as the pinnacle of the only truths! (that, bitches? is for Ikea, Target and Trader Joes!)

Just because i am gay doesn't mean i am a screaming liberal ... truth to point? i am technically registered as a republican!

as for Mare ... think she'll fit in the trash compactor?

(runs to Borders for the new AC book)

[Becki]

I too say "YOU GO GIRL". Love you just the way you are. Except the cussing. Which I have mentioned before. lol.

But my main priority today was trying to figure out whether or not my dogs are liberal or conservative. I'm stymied . . . though I do know Evie the cat could care less.

[Jerseygirl89]

Yet another liberal de-lurking. Like Mare thought she was going to turn you into a MSNBC watcher by insulting you? Idiot.

Off topic: I LOVE LOVE LOVE that you use footnotes in your books.

[Michelle]

Sorry, short pier, short.

[Michelle]

Hmmm...I wonder if her name is really "Mary", and that Mare is her nickname? Or maybe, just maybe, it's Greta Van Susteren "de-lurking" to shake things up a bit.

Anyhoo, Jen, last night was our monthly book club get-together, and we talked a ton about your books, and all agreed that we can't wait for the new one in May! We kept saying, "Oh remember the part where....", and, "Then when she said..." - laughing hystericaly the whole time. My book club friend is coming to Chicago for a business trip this week, and we contemplated having her email you an invite to have drinks!!! We decided that bordered on "creepy" and 86ed the idea :o)

Tell Mare to take a long walk off a shirt pier.

Peace out,
Michelle

[dcfullest]

The first time I made out with a guy it was while listening to Journey's greatest hits. I thought both were excellent at the time. I have learned since then:
- there is a lot better music
- the guy is most likely in jail
- he was an AWFUL kisser

[Rachel]

Wow...what a lame and ignorant message. Her world must be pretty small.

And waffles ROCK.

[Cathy Dee]

You are INCREDIBLY tolerant for a conservative. Much appreciated.

[Lisa]

Great post! I can't wait to introduce you to Ann :)

[Ellen]

If only there were an independent candidate who vowed to find out WHY grocery stores play such odd music in general... then I would get a bumper sticker, for my imaginary car.

[Heather]

I think the girl that commented that Mare...Mere, meant Merde..........OMG, If I were gay, I would SO be in love with you!! (I am a cop, specifically homicide detective, hence, I avoid at any measure being in the least bit gay, OR a slut) Thank you for the laughs, Officer er, Detective Sugartits

[Liz K]

You are absolutely right Jen. That is exactly how I (a liberal) managed to get along with my fiance (when we first met), his friends, and his family who are all conservatives who are very vocal with their views...I focused on what unites us! Vicious wit, love of Miller Lite, hatred of parades...etc. I and all the conservatives out there are entitled to our own opinions and we each get our one vote when election day comes around. If I was like Mere, dismissing every Republican I meet, then I would have missed out on getting to know, dating, and then becoming engaged to the love of my life. Let that be a lesson to her.

[Trace]

Dude. You mentioning "Godless" was the reason I went out to the library and picked it up - and enjoyed it! (Heaven forbid)

Waffles are awesome, grocery stores play Journey because they know that secretly, all of us are karaoke FIENDS who want to bust out and sing "Lights" at any given moment (just me?), and Heather in Texas, I am pouting a bit at your comment about the greatest state EVER (I'm in NYC - suck - but was born and raised in (and miss dearly!) the Lone Star State. But I won't email hate mail to you, don't worry ;)

[trish]

1. Wtf????
2. I love waffles
3. I wish I had free time to waste like Mare...by the way, was she named for the front or the back of the horse??

[Heather]

Add me to your roster of liberal-delurkers who love you. Can we get a PAC together?

[Kathy]

Hi, Jen.
Delurking today to say this:

Mare,
It is a pity your mind is so closed off to the rest of the world's opinions, past times, writing styles, choice of nail polish color, whatever.
You sound like someone not very fun to hang out with or to hold a conversation with.
Lighten up.

Kathy

[Heather in Texas]

Okay, some people have way too much time on their hands (me included since I feel so compelled to comment).

I am a yellow-dog democrat and love you to death. Books, blogs, republican views et al. If I still lived in Chicago, I would so take you for girly drinks and kibitz to our hearts content. Sadly, I live in the wasteland that is called Texas.

I don't think I have ever hated a book so much that I wanted to inflict hate mail on the author. I am glad you kept your humor about it! Mere, Mare, horse, whatever, get a life and write your own damn book you think your so great in your own unenlighted world. I am sure you could sell at least one.

[Jen]

You Go GIRRLLLLLL!!! I consider myself a staunch liberal and thought that your books were amazing, even if you do read Ann. It's a shame that Mare... umm, Mere... whatever... just doesn't seem to get it. She sucks. End of discussion.