The Audacity of Hate

Who likes hate mail?

I do, I do!

Here's an absolute gem from today's mailbag:

Dear Jennifer,

I enjoyed your first "literary effort" a great deal although the astericks (sic - I think she means quotation marks) (and possibly a different spelling) got a bit annoying, I do realize that's part of your (sic) "schtick."  Naturally, I purchased your follow up and quite frankly was instantly turned off by the Fox "News" and Sean Hannity ("Sean Insanity" as I refer to him) references.  The final nail in the coffin though, was the part where you are on the bus and pull the Ann Coulter ("Man Coulter" imho) out of your tote bag.  My limit with you particular sensibilities was reached and I didn't even bother to use the drop box at the library (as a donation.)  It went right into the garbage compacter (sic) (to make certain it was good and truly crushed and destroyed.)

I feel bad for you.  You seemed like someone cool to hang out with, fun to read, etc...

Mare

My response?

You'll be missed.  "Not."

And then I laughed myself into an asthma attack and made some waffles.

Later, after I finished breakfast, I began to really think about the contents of this note as it relates to my writing.  In Bright Lights, Big Ass, it's true, I do mention I'm conservative.  And I mention I like FOX, Sean, and Ann because I do like them.  Rush, too.  Which in no way implies I hold every single thing they say to be God's Own Truth. 

Why? 

Because I'm capable of critical thinking and drawing my own conclusions based on material presented.   And because I can read and enjoy something without having to be in complete conceptual agreement.

What gets me about Mare's email is I go to great lengths to scrub my writing of conservative commentary.  I respect my readers and I'm well aware many of them have Obama 08 stickers on the back of their cars. 

(And that's pretty cool.  It's exciting to see Americans so damn fired up about a candidate, regardless of whether or not that politician reflects my views.) 

Speaking of my views, I'm extraordinarily careful not to touch on polarizing topics such as terrorism, gun control, Social Security, etc.  Yeah, there are venues where I express my political ideology, but my books aren't one of them.  I'd rather share the stuff that unites us, like our collective fear of taking our pants off in front of medical professionals or why our grocery stores play so damn much Journey.  And, please, the most political among us have been able to set aside differing opinions and enjoy each other's company, e.g. Tip O'Neill and Ronald Reagan routinely getting together for cold drinks and story-telling even after the most bloody battles on the House floor. 

For Mare to have such a violent reaction at my opposing views is just kind of... ignorant.  Especially when she never even heard (a) what that opinion entails or (b) the thought process behind it.  That'd be like me dismissing her because she sells 3M window film (note:  please refrain from using a Google-stalkable address when sending hate mail) or loathing anyone who doesn't eat waffles.

Were I to limit my exposure to those who exclusively shared my ideals, then the only person I'd ever talk to would be my husband.  As much as I love him, I'd be missing out on knowing a lot of great people.

Mare says she feels sorry for me. 

Which... really?

Because I feel sorry for you, Mare.  I'm sorry you feel that opposing (albeit unknown) viewpoints are such an anathema.  I'm sorry your mind is so closed that you can't get past the specifics of a small fraction of the TV I watch and the books that I read.  And I'm sorry you had to burn the time and gray matter this morning to let me know exactly how offensive my (unspoken) views are.

Again, you'll be missed. 

Not.

P.S.  You realize now I'm obligated to take the two dollars I earned from your purchase to buy Ann's newest, right?

Comments

[Jen]

You Go GIRRLLLLLL!!! I consider myself a staunch liberal and thought that your books were amazing, even if you do read Ann. It's a shame that Mare... umm, Mere... whatever... just doesn't seem to get it. She sucks. End of discussion.

[Heather in Texas]

Okay, some people have way too much time on their hands (me included since I feel so compelled to comment).

I am a yellow-dog democrat and love you to death. Books, blogs, republican views et al. If I still lived in Chicago, I would so take you for girly drinks and kibitz to our hearts content. Sadly, I live in the wasteland that is called Texas.

I don't think I have ever hated a book so much that I wanted to inflict hate mail on the author. I am glad you kept your humor about it! Mere, Mare, horse, whatever, get a life and write your own damn book you think your so great in your own unenlighted world. I am sure you could sell at least one.

[Kathy]

Hi, Jen.
Delurking today to say this:

Mare,
It is a pity your mind is so closed off to the rest of the world's opinions, past times, writing styles, choice of nail polish color, whatever.
You sound like someone not very fun to hang out with or to hold a conversation with.
Lighten up.

Kathy

[Heather]

Add me to your roster of liberal-delurkers who love you. Can we get a PAC together?

[trish]

1. Wtf????
2. I love waffles
3. I wish I had free time to waste like Mare...by the way, was she named for the front or the back of the horse??

[Trace]

Dude. You mentioning "Godless" was the reason I went out to the library and picked it up - and enjoyed it! (Heaven forbid)

Waffles are awesome, grocery stores play Journey because they know that secretly, all of us are karaoke FIENDS who want to bust out and sing "Lights" at any given moment (just me?), and Heather in Texas, I am pouting a bit at your comment about the greatest state EVER (I'm in NYC - suck - but was born and raised in (and miss dearly!) the Lone Star State. But I won't email hate mail to you, don't worry ;)

[Liz K]

You are absolutely right Jen. That is exactly how I (a liberal) managed to get along with my fiance (when we first met), his friends, and his family who are all conservatives who are very vocal with their views...I focused on what unites us! Vicious wit, love of Miller Lite, hatred of parades...etc. I and all the conservatives out there are entitled to our own opinions and we each get our one vote when election day comes around. If I was like Mere, dismissing every Republican I meet, then I would have missed out on getting to know, dating, and then becoming engaged to the love of my life. Let that be a lesson to her.

[Heather]

I think the girl that commented that Mare...Mere, meant Merde..........OMG, If I were gay, I would SO be in love with you!! (I am a cop, specifically homicide detective, hence, I avoid at any measure being in the least bit gay, OR a slut) Thank you for the laughs, Officer er, Detective Sugartits

[Ellen]

If only there were an independent candidate who vowed to find out WHY grocery stores play such odd music in general... then I would get a bumper sticker, for my imaginary car.

[Lisa]

Great post! I can't wait to introduce you to Ann :)

[Cathy Dee]

You are INCREDIBLY tolerant for a conservative. Much appreciated.

[Rachel]

Wow...what a lame and ignorant message. Her world must be pretty small.

And waffles ROCK.

[dcfullest]

The first time I made out with a guy it was while listening to Journey's greatest hits. I thought both were excellent at the time. I have learned since then:
- there is a lot better music
- the guy is most likely in jail
- he was an AWFUL kisser

[Michelle]

Hmmm...I wonder if her name is really "Mary", and that Mare is her nickname? Or maybe, just maybe, it's Greta Van Susteren "de-lurking" to shake things up a bit.

Anyhoo, Jen, last night was our monthly book club get-together, and we talked a ton about your books, and all agreed that we can't wait for the new one in May! We kept saying, "Oh remember the part where....", and, "Then when she said..." - laughing hystericaly the whole time. My book club friend is coming to Chicago for a business trip this week, and we contemplated having her email you an invite to have drinks!!! We decided that bordered on "creepy" and 86ed the idea :o)

Tell Mare to take a long walk off a shirt pier.

Peace out,
Michelle

[Michelle]

Sorry, short pier, short.

[Jerseygirl89]

Yet another liberal de-lurking. Like Mare thought she was going to turn you into a MSNBC watcher by insulting you? Idiot.

Off topic: I LOVE LOVE LOVE that you use footnotes in your books.

[Becki]

I too say "YOU GO GIRL". Love you just the way you are. Except the cussing. Which I have mentioned before. lol.

But my main priority today was trying to figure out whether or not my dogs are liberal or conservative. I'm stymied . . . though I do know Evie the cat could care less.

[Benjamin Kissell]

psychotic little monkeys like Mare remind me why i chose to follow my writing passion ... because, you can't please everyone, and when you can't please everyone, you please yourself!

we all represent ourselves with our words and, unfortunately, context as well as how much we say is an aspect of how we are judged, deemed and esteemed by the public and world at large.

just because you enjoy the Foxers, doesn't mean you hold them as the pinnacle of the only truths! (that, bitches? is for Ikea, Target and Trader Joes!)

Just because i am gay doesn't mean i am a screaming liberal ... truth to point? i am technically registered as a republican!

as for Mare ... think she'll fit in the trash compactor?

(runs to Borders for the new AC book)

[Alli]

Please add me to your list of liberal fans who detest Ann but adore you and your work. Our country has become so polarized in the past few years, so kudos to you for uniting us with your with your wit and geniosity. Thanks for all you do!

[Kari]

I love it all.... your opinions (whether or not I agree) and especially the cussing! I never realized how many lame ass people take time out of their 'busy'lives to write hate mail. So sad... not!

[Cher]

This reminds me of a comment I saw on my favorite band's myspace page recently. The person posting said she could no longer be a fan of the band because of their liberal views that they've mentioned in the past but never have sung about... which, I'm sorry, is stupid. If you liked their music in the past, and they're not singing about voting for Hillary or Obama or anyone else, then why would you stop listening? People who are that stubborn and close-minded make me sad... because they're cutting themselves off from something (or someone) that they previously liked for a shallow reason. I may not have the same views as you, Jen (far from it actually), but I love reading what you have to say anyway :)

[sweetney]

you're well aware of the fact that you and i don't share the same political views, but i hope you also know that 1) i love the crap out of you, and 2) think you rule. wow people, you can actually LIKE and associate with people whose political views don't mirror yours! in fact, it makes life more interesting! look into it! snort.

[Emily]

Oh, hilarious!!! My mother and I are both proud, stubborn, liberals, and this does not stop us from frequenting your blog, buying your books, and recommending you to everyone we know.
Also, Mare could take a cue from your writing. While you are easy to read, funny, and smart, she sounds ridiculous. "My limit with your particular sensibilities"?! Seriously?! No one talks like that. If you're going to take the time to write hate mail, at least make it juicy (a la your letter to the alderman in BLBA). Thanks for giving me a good laugh today!

[WaltiePoo]

Wait! Wait! Let's not gloss over those waffles! What kind of waffles?

[Susan]

I'm also a liberal who loves your work. Some people just take things too damn seriously.

Also, I really want waffles now.