I realize it's not December and yet this is too ridiculous to leave dormant.
I received an email from Alyssa this evening with an apology. She said she was sorry for causing internet drama and maybe she'd spoken out of line and blah blah blah, she's a nice person-cakes. However, she stood behind her decision to not read my site anymore. (Apparently she regrets stirring up shit, yet is unwavering in her demand for a constant stream of free content.) (And considering I have maybe two more books in me at best, I guess this means I'll have to find a way to make two dollars I'd have gotten from her elsewhere.)
Anyway, this is the part that kills me DEAD about her note - Alyssa would like me to tell all of you that she apologized because you've been saying mean things about her in the comments section of my friends-only MySpace page and it's hurting her feelings and she'd like you to stop sending negative karma her way.
On the off chance that this whole thing isn't a joke, and if it is - well fucking played, people, you got me - my mind is positively reeling right now.
Again, let me get this straight if I can... Alyssa, a perfect stranger, decided I needed some advice on how to conduct myself as a writer/author. But instead of simply stating her opinion, and despite having zero experience working in the publishing industry upon which to base said advice, she flat-out told me I was doing my job wrong. She then accused me of breaking promises I never made. She turned her note into a personal attack by bringing up the fact that I've recently gotten Botox (which I chronicled specifically for those who might be struggling with signs of aging so they'd know there's a cheap, easy, an effective tool out there to help) and that somehow by achieving a modicum of success, I have been changed as a person for the worse. And instead of simply emailing me these thoughts in one of the half-dozen private vehicles for communication I've provided, e.g. email, Twitter messaging, MySpace messages, Facebook contacts, etc., she did so in the one public area of my webpage, ostensibly to make sure everyone saw it.
Yeah, I can't imagine why I'd have a visceral reaction, either.
Now, let's be clear on a couple of other things - there's been absolutely no "cyber-bullying" in my previous post. I didn't impugn Alyssa's character - a courtesy she did not afford me - nor did I offer any way for readers who disagreed with her to contact her and tell her so, even though I could have easily posted her full name, email address, MySpace page, photo, etc. (Seriously, people - how often do we have to have the IP address conversation?) In addition, I specifically closed all comments on my Jennsylvania.com site as well as the blog portion of my MySpace page because I didn't want it to turn into a big bash-on-Alyssa party because I'm honestly not a big fan of the dogpile.
A few of you guys found a way to post your thoughts under the general comments area of my MySpace page and apparently this is what's hurting her feelings and Alyssa wants me to make it stop.
Oh, Alyssa, Alyssa, Alyssa... here's where you learn a valuable lesson on CONSEQUENCES. Do you really feel you have the right to come onto my private property - a place you were allowed to visit, with the caveat that you could stay if you behaved - stir up a bunch of shit, and then have the nerve to be hurt and surprised as a DIRECT RESULT OF THE ACTIONS YOU CHOSE TO TAKE?
And do you think just because you say you're sorry that everything POOF! goes away?
Because in my world, it doesn't.
"I'm sorry," implies regret about something that happened accidentally when the truth is you willfully entered a public forum and maligned me.
YOU CAUSED THIS ACTION.
YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES.
YOU CAN'T UNRING THAT BELL.
Now people are saying mean stuff about you (again, first name only - they don't know who you are, where you work, or where you live) and you don't like it because it's sending bad karma your way.
Again, if there's bad karma, YOU CAUSED IT. THIS IS ENTIRELY YOUR OWN DOING.
My readers weren't sitting around their computers wondering, "Who can we pick on?" You started a fight - badly, I might add - and based it on false premises and now you've found fighting doesn't suit your delicate sensibilities and you want it to stop.
But the place where you want "it" to stop is my private forum for friends. And you wouldn't even know if this if you didn't SEEK OUT WHAT PEOPLE WERE SAYING ABOUT YOU, thus leading me to believe you knew exactly what you were doing in the first place when you decided to start trouble and therefore your sorries are false and fall on deaf ears.
How about this? How about I'm sorry you acted like an asshole and I'm sorry you don't like the consequences that have followed your actions.
On the bright side, your ridiculous request got me to post again before December 1, so everyone's probably less mad at you now.
Pretty sure they're still laughing at you, though.
P.S. Seriously, say you're going to stop reading me and really mean it. I promise you you'll be happier because of it.
