I was tempted to publish this entry with the title alone because it sums up my whole life at the moment, but decided that was boo-shit after I thought about it. Instead, I'll use this post put to rest some old business and along the way, try to remember if there's anything that's bugging me.
OK, first, Facebook and Twitter - yes, I removed my profiles from these places. I dug Facebook but two weeks into it, found myself kind of overwhelmed with requests. Due to its more personal/interactive nature (and the fact that I over-think EVERYTHING) I got consumed trying to keep up with every sheep thrown and I worried that I was being rude when I couldn't respond by sending a grow-a-gift or writing on their walls or something because it seemed like kind of an insult because people took the time to do something nice for me and... yeah. You see my dilemma.
As for Twitter, well, I'm simply too nosy to be on Twitter. I just can't read 140-characters of teaser without digging for the rest of the story. Damn all of you for being too interesting. (And damn you, Twitter, for continually RE-posting my profile, despite my deletion. Fuck ups like this are NOT going to help you get purchased by Google or Yahoo.)
Point is this site and my MySpace page aren't going anywhere - and I'm flattering myself here - in case you were worried.
What else? Oh, on Friday Fletch and I returned to Whole Foods for the first time since the moldy birthday cake incident. (And yes, they gave me a gift certificate, DAMN SKIPPY.) We shopped without incident until I pulled my purse out of their double-decker-city-shopping cart.
Apparently one of the geniuses in the back was too stoned to properly apply the lid (my theory, anyway) and when I grabbed my bag, it tipped the open pint of corn-poblano soup which then dumped all over my brand new birthday coat being stowed in the bottom-decker. After an entirely-too-long wait, a couple of employees straight from the set of Dazed and Confused showed up and stood there all, "Whoa, bummer!" until I barked that I needed paper towels right-fucking-NOW and perhaps they should grab a mop.
Long story short, the dry cleaner said my coat should be OK but I fear they're never going to get the smell of poblano pepper out of it and believe every time I walk by someone while wearing it they're going think, "Hey, we should have Mexican food for dinner!"
(BTW, here's the birthday cake my mom had made for me after hearing about the moldy-cake incident. Is this not GLORIOUS?)
(And yes, it tasted even better than it looked. There were layers of vanilla, red velvet, and mocha with a light buttercream frosting between and under the fondant. I cut it into pieces and froze them in separate baggies and now have access to magnificent cake whenever I want. So, again, SCREW YOU, WHOLE FOODS.)
And speaking of birth (this is a terrible segue, but let's pretend it works) did anyone see US magazine last week? I'm still fuming over this. There's a little article with pictures of celebs and a clock telling how long each of them were in labor. Apparently Keri Russell labored for thirty-eight hours, Gwyneth Paltrow for seventy, and Brooke Shields for twenty-four. However, Keisha Castle-Hughes is the big winner because she labored for seventy-two hours, yet it was OK because she "forgot every single minute of it" once she saw her baby daughter.
Nice little article, right? Yeah, except the fact that Keisha Castle-Hughes is SEVEN-FUCKING-TEEN YEARS OLD. Honey, you were in labor that long because you're STILL A BABY YOURSELF. (FYI, I'm not going to go all moral/political/ethical here ranting about how Keisha isn't married because ultimately, her life has no effect on mine.)
(My politics can be summed up by the philosophy that you should do whatever you want, as long as it doesn't cost ME anything.)
(Also, I'm not going to get into the abortion debate because, really, there's a BIRTHDAY CAKE here.)
Castle-Hughes made choices and they're not up for debate. She may be an old soul and a fantastic mother and everything is just fine. My point is that I'm pissed off at Us Weekly. I mean, can we please not have a national magazine glorifying babies having babies here? Considering half their readers are likely teenagers, did US really have to use Castle-Hughes as an example, thus sending the message that it's totally cool to not only have sex but also to give birth while being a junior in high school? Did no one else in Hollywood have a drawn-out delivery? Could they not have found someone else's photo to post? GOD.
Anyway, I'm out of steam and need to get back to work now. Later!
"Pfft, this entry sucks. You'd have been better off just posting the title. And can I have some cake?"
P.S. Loki just reminded me comments will re-open when I have time to monitor them again.
