Such a Pretty Book Tour

Today's Jen-Point Quiz:

1)  What major city do you live closest to?*

*Answer only if you actually would come and see me spit, stammer, and sweat Chardonnay live and in person.  (Bring a tarp if you're sitting in the front row!  I'm just like a Gallagher show!  But with less watermelon!)

Seriously, I just found out I'm going to hit about ten cities this summer for the new book which is SO VERY COOL!!  Obviously I'll do readings/signings here in Chicago, and most likely in New York and Philly.  That leaves seven cities TBD.  Judging from the location of the requests I get, I'm also pushing for Minneapolis and somewhere in Texas. 

So, if you were to want to see me, where would that be?  Boston?  D.C.?  (I'm guessing we'll stay more midwest-y/east-coast-y for logistical reasons.)     

Also, here's your exclusive first look at the new cover for Such A Pretty Fat, coming to a book-seller near you May 6, 2008!

Hope you like it...

... because we're not changing it.

Anyway, in the comments section, please tell me where I should be going.

(Other than straight to hell, of course.)

Comments

[Candi]

Jen!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE come to SLC. My friend Holly and I love you. Your books are awesome.

[Samantha]

You must come to Pittsburgh. We have a lot of bridges...yeah, and um... very few hippies! Seriously, it's a great city. And we have amazing food. Can we say Primanti Bros. sandwiches? (Look it up. You will revel in the amazingness.)

[Erica]

Seattle!! Please please Pretty Please? I'd even drive the three hours to Portland. (Although Seattle is MUCH better.)

[Becky]

Denver - The Mile High City! I live on the other side of the state. My house is 15 miles from Utah but I would drive the four hours to Denver over the mountains and through the woods just to see you there!

[Marie]

Boston! I know its close to New York but its far enough away for you to come..puhhhhhhhlease :)

[Erin]

Top ten reasons you should TOTALLY come to Cleveland, Ohio-
10. One hour flight from Chicago
9. We've got the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame ( if you've been there sober,you didn't do it right, come see it with a native!)
8. West Side Market- food as far as the eye can see- including olives stuffed with everything you can think of (salmon and dill a must!) and cakes higher than your head!
7. It's mecca for those who must mock- I was recently given a note pad for fashion citations and I'm gonna need a re-order form soon!
6. Divine Wine Bar- nuff said
5. Cakes Plus- the best brownies you will ever eat- ten times better than the brownies with sea salt at Trader Joe's-which we all know are like crack
4. The Christmas Story house and museum- who doesn't love a leg lamp, right?
3. There really are cool people who live here-who love you, love you, love you!!
2. I've been teaching everydamnbody to say asshat and fucktard, so you'd feel right at home

and the #1 reason you should come to Cleveland,Ohio:

More martini bars than you can count (the winters are long here too!) and I'll take you to every single one!!
Pretty pretty please??

[Jennifer]

PLEASE come to Atlanta!!!

[Kelly]

HOT-LANTA, please??

[Anne]

Ummm, so much for being highly literate - check-lit should of course be chick-lit! Okay, another vote for for C@L!!

[Anne]

As someone who was buying your books before you even wrote any - oh yes, back in the days when you were selling your used, yet beloved check-lit on Amazon to make the rent - and as someone, albeit under an alias, who is has a teeny lil' claim to fame via mention in your first book (page 376, bestower of candy treats & nail polish & mix CD & little notes) - I definitely think you should come visit highly-literate, gorgeous-in-the-summer, surrounded-by-wineries, home-of-Nordstrom-and-all-that-is-shoes, Seattle!

[Nicole]

Another vote here for Vancouver (Canada). I mean, it looks like you're going to Seattle - you might as well take a jaunt up to Vancouver :) 'Cause we love you here.

Stay at the Hotel Vancouver (right downtown and a block from Robson Street for shopping); do your talking and reading at Chapters on Broadway :)

[Jessica]

Austin! Oh please, oh please.

[Stefanie Green]

Hey, or should I say Eh! from Canada,why not head to Montreal or Toronto - make it an international tour!!

[Christine W.]

Jen,

Please come to Indianapolis! As another poster said, we're so close!

I'm not above begging and bribery. Let me know which is better for you.

[Kelly J]

I know it is a shot in the dark...

But NC loves you! I would love it if you cam to Charlotte,Greensboro, or any of our big cities. Hey, we have a zoo...that is about all we have to offer. :)

But we love you!!!!

[Diane]

I WOULD tell you to come to South Florida because I'm in Weston (Ft. Lauderdale), but honestly? The people here (other than me, of course) don't deserve you. That's right. You're too funny for them.

Go to a more worthy place like New York (Lawn Guyland) or Boston instead.

[LLori]

Southern California (anywhere) BEACHES!!! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeasssssse!!! Mountains, Disneyland, U.C.L.A (Westwood Village) Universal City Walk/Hollywood, Beverly Hills/Century City, Pasadena (Rose Bowl), Santa Monica..Manhattan..Redondo..Long Beach, Marina del Rey, Orange County, Palm Springs, Santa Barbara & did I mention weather!

So. California --- Pls.

[michelle]

Please, please, please...Atlanta, GA!!!!!

[Ashley]

Raleigh, NC!!!

[Melanie]

Anywhere in Michigan PLEASE??? I live on the east side, but I'd make the drive to Grand Rapids.

[teachergirl]

For heaven's sake. Why Atlanta, of course. I have the perfect place for us to lunch.

[Bridget]

Come to San Diego!

[Julie]

Washington, DC! Please come to Washington, DC. I have enjoyed both Bitter is the New Black AND Bright Lights, Big Ass.... Abso-freaking-lutely hysterical. Not all of it, of course, because some of it was scary and sad, but I love your sense of humor. Great work and best wishes to you always.

[Kelly]

BOSTON

[Kelly]

BOSTON

[Tammy]

Please come to Philly! Although I detest driving there, I'd walk on nails to meet you. Your books echo the thoughts of thousands of women everywhere - we just can't put them into words like you can!

[Alex]

Please come to NY, NY!! Your blog makes me laugh out loud. Which is excellent when I'm sitting at my desk in my cubicle and my co-workers look at me funny. : )

[Laura]

Remember the original Philly love.

[Zakiya]

Columbus, OH!!!

[Christa Booth]

Hoosier chick here... Specifically - Angola, Indiana!! I'm now out here in Orange County, California where this loud-mouthed chunky chick does not get noticed unless I open my mouth (which is a lot, and not in a good way!!) COME HERE PLEASE.... I know I know you from high school!!!! :)

[Jorae]

Our book club read Bitter Is the New Black and LOVED IT!!! Please, please PLEASE come to DC!!! It will be worth it!!!

[k.m]

Raleigh NC!!!

[Anna]

Jenn,

Your books are awesome and I'm a huge fan. I live in Canada (Ottawa)..have you considered coming up here for a book tour?? We love you here!

[Amy]

Please come to RENO! Yes, I know you are probably saying, WTF is in Reno? Well, we are the Biggest Little City in the World, home to casinos, brothels, sagebrush, and snow. Wait, as I type this I am wondering what I am doing here...ok, don't come to Reno, I will drive to San Francisco to come and see you!

[Robin]

HOUSTON is a Must Do!

[Jen]

We've got damn good cupcakes here in Columbus, OH. But more importantly, we have lots of wine bars!!!

[Jadine]

You are my best friend that I haven't met and I insist you come to Lake Forest, California. Okay, it's in Orange County, but don't hold that against me. We have beautiful weather tucked in here between the foothills and the beach. We love you! Please come visit!

[Alexis]

Raleigh,NC!

[Michelle]

Please come to Boston! Didn't one of your books make reference to Wakefield? Visit your old haunts (the lake is lovely in the summer...)

[Tonya]

I think Boston is a logical and great choice, I probably wouldn't be able to come see you either way because traffic is retarded and I hate traffic and live like 3 hrs away (it should only be 45 minutes) because traffic ruins my life, and I can't bake you any pastry items mentioned soooo... many... times... previously..but I would love to think that you visited a city so full of bitchy snobs and maybe could put a few in their place in the process-I would be sad inside a little because I would miss it

[lindsay Goodman]

washington, dc!!!!! Please come!!

[Kirstin]

come to los angeles!! i looooove your writing!!

[Shannon]

Come to Portland, Oregon. No, seriously, Portland. I've been to Columbus...a lot...and Easton is nice, but Columbus in January? Not so fun. Plus, Portland is only RAINY, not tits-freezing cold, and if Starbucks is crowded, walk a block. That one will be less crowded.

Also? Jennifer Aniston is in town filming a movie. Love her or hate her, you know that Vince is SOMEWHERE nearby.

[Jacquie]

DENVER!!!!! DENVER!!! DENVER!!!

[Gretchen]

Raleigh or DC

[Jennifer Twaddell]

Ahh!!! If you don't go a little west-coasty and visit LA or Seattle so ALL the women in my family can come marvel at your wicked social mockery I will just DIE! Seriously, reading your books is the only thing keeping our abs in shape.

[Lorri]

D.C.! D.C.! D.C.! D.C.! D.C.! D.C.!

Seat of the Free World, Cherry Blossoms (ok, so the Cherry Blossoms will be dead by May, but the trees are still there...), and boy do we have stories! Stories that you will not believe, never fear..we have documentation! D.C. is only the MOST beautiful city in the world, especially in the Spring.

[Melissa]

San Diego!! I am originally from Northwest Indiana, Purdue alumni myself...but call so-cal my home for right now!! trust me, these peeps could use a good midwestern smackdown out here...plus...who could say no to the land of wineries!!!

[Tami]

SACRAMENTO!!!!

[danegrrl]

Seattle! No pearls, truly more dogs than people, you'll have a full house AND we'll bring you more wine than even you can drink. You're going to love your visit. It's the Emerald City, for heaven's sake.