Lost in Translation

Today's example of a statement about brand loyalty that makes perfect sense in my head but sounds really fucking weird when I say it out loud to the cashier at Kohl's who is ringing up my five boxes of Jockey for Her cotton briefs:

"I've been wearing the exact same underpants for twenty years!"

Thank you and good night!

Comments

[Laura]

For a girl that took a Prada (I think it was anyway) purse to unemployment, I can't imagine that you wore Jockey undies way back then too!!

[kylie]

ha! thats almost like me walking through my middle school screaming at my friend "GIVE ME MY PANTS BACK!". :D

[Antof9]

I'm pretty sure I wear the exact same underwear too. And there is NOTHING better than Jockey!

Ant, a big fan, who recently finished "Bright Lights" in about a day and immediately went out and bought "Bitter" while eagerly awaiting the next...

http://www.bookcrossing.com/journal/5515695

[Cindy from Cincinnati]

I've recently discovered "SOMA", which is owned by Chico's. Their underpants are fabulous! Not cheap, but very nice. I wear the Modern Brief. They have fancier types that have "vanishing panty lines", but I have not tried them yet. For all you Dayton (Central OH) girls, their only OH store is at "The Greene" in Dayton. They have lovely, lovely lounge wear, not trashy, like VS...ahem. Their fabrics just make you want to love on them immediately. Chicago stores are at Water Tower Place, Oakbrook and Northbrook.

[iamlandlocked]

I worked in a hospital where the doctors in my department always wore scrubs. I ran into one of the physicians I worked with outside of the office and blurted out, "Hey Dr. So-and-so, I almost didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" From what I understand, this is not an entirely uncommon occurrence, but it was mortifying for me nonetheless.

[Malia]

Well, like you, I was a cashier at Target. And NOTHING is more disturbing when a man, who is not wearing a wedding ring, starts buying Target's finest polyester-silk panties in MASSIVE quantities. Granted, they could have been for his girlfriend, but...somehow, I don't think so.

[Shelly]

OMG! I wear the same brand - and for about 20 years, too!

[the governor of jennsylvania]

Panty lines are a badge of honor. You know what they say to the world? They say, "Hello, world! Yes, in fact I AM wearing underpants!"

[Liz]

Are you not worried about panty lines? I do not understand women who wear briefs.

[Ms. Mickey]

I only buy black trouser socks. Ever. I happen to share this with a stranger in the store (because I am turning into my mother) and she looked at me as if I'd said "It's such a bother to keep the bodies in my trunk". She was dressed quite fashionably, so I guess what seems smart and practical for me sounds real stupid to style mavens.

[Reluctant Housewife]

The cashier probably just thought that it was about time you bought some new ones.

[Nicole]

I can imagine that cashier's face LOL
You make me smile in day which looks kind of crappy, so thanks!!

[Lauryn]

I wait tables, and was standing talking to one of them the other night, and one of the bartenders dropped something and SCREAMED.

Me (to a table of women): Whoops, that was Morgan. She does that a lot. Trust me, she's dating my boyfriend's roommate.

Me (two minutes later): That definitely didn't come out the way it should have.

[Manic Mommy]

When I approach you on Tuesday night and ask you what color you're wearing, that's code so you'll know it's me... LOL... Looking forward to meeting you!

[the other Moira (who knew?)]

Me too! I've bought Jockey grundies exclusively for almost 20 years. Queen size french cut briefs for me.

[Allison]

How 'bout this one? A lady came in our store and wanted to spend $25. No more, no less. So, I was trying to put rubber stamping stuff together for her and I chose a smaller stamp than the one she had originally picked up. Well, she was at the register so I yelled ACROSS the store to her..."I found this little one. Size doesn't matter, does it?" You seriously could have heard a pin drop.

[Jeannie B.]

Once, during a job interview for hospital public relations, when I was asked if I preferred working with a team or on my own, I said, "I go both ways." There was a nine-months pregnant pause, then raucous laughter from the interviewers, then... someone else got THAT job.

[Muirnait]

Well, that is very, very funny. Thanks ;)

[Suzy Q]

Dude, there are so much better panties than that. Try the No-Show high-cut briefs by Victoria's Secret. Yeah, I know, VS is for tiny people. But, I'm not tiny, and I love these panties. And, they have to be WAY nicer than Jockeys!

[Cyndi]

I'm always saying stupid crap like that. I never realize how it sounds until the other person just starts staring at me in disbelief.

[Rishi]

I was a cashier at Kohl's about half of the time of the two and a half years I worked there. (The other half of the time, I worked in the Children's department, which was a poor fit for me if there ever was one.) It may just be that Northwestern Ohio has a higher incidence of freaks than most places, but, trust me: that was probably the least weird/obnoxious thing she's heard this week. (I have stories.)

[sizzle]

Applause! Applause!

[kalisah]

you'll probably end up on her blog, too.

[trish]

A Lancaster classic!

[Buffy]

yeah so I haven't slept for 3 nights and that made me hog laugh and snort ice water out my nose...