Who Likes to See Fat Chicks Running on a Treadmill?

If you answered, "I do, I do!" then oh boy, do I have a video you'll dig.

And yes, I work out in pearls - doesn't everyone?

(P.S. If this doesn't inspire you to buy the book - or at least lay off the donuts - then for Christ's sake people, I don't know what else I can do here.)

Comments

[kelly]

You are one funny bitch.
And just remember my favorite axiom:
Outside every thin woman, there's a fat man waiting to get in!

[la media girl]

I've been reading your blog for two months and after seeing this post, I HAD to comment. I too have a personal trainer. Who is 6'0". Blonde. And a pro-beach volleyball player.

I so truly want to hate her.

[Fe]

Every morning I try to wake up at 5 am to go to the gym. Most mornings my rational self overules me and I stay in bed until I absolutely have to get up to go to work - me like-y paycheck more than me like-y slepping (but not by much). In any event, the "I have sand in my mouth" excuse it's the best I have ever heard. I may have to use it. Seems like it could be all purpose... I may have to try.

[Lindsay]

Is this the same chick that yells alot from Bitter?

[Reluctant Housewife]

Oh I'm buying the book. The donuts? I might buy those too. I am Canadian and I read recently that we eat more donuts than any other country in the world. I'm so proud.

[the governor of jennsylvania]

And you're a lot more courageous when you think you're making an anonymous comment, Toots, AKA jenniferm1976@hotmail.com.

[Toots]

You're a lot funnier on paper.

[Jennifer S.]

You are like my new personal hero!

[Sheenah]

I love that video. I can't wait to buy the book and I keep broadcasting to everyone that my favorite author has a new book coming out in May. I'm so excited!

[Izabis717]

Poor Fletch! He sounds like my fiancee now that I am trying to lose weight (only I think Im losing the battle). And sand in your mouth is probably my favorite excuse, I think the best I ever came up with was my underwear was too tight :)

[meg]

i think you're just splendid.

[sweetney]

you are so awesome it burns. BURNS!!!!

[robin m.]

The best part: using sand in your mouth as an excuse to not exercise. I wish I looked as put-together as you do when I work out!

Loved the video - keep them coming!

[Mrs. K]

oh you look splendid :) i work out in pearl earrings- does that count?

[Loulouatthelake]

I can so relate. I go swimming, screw the gym crap it's not for me. I consider this great exercise, as I spend the entire time there holding in my tummy while swimming back and forth while thinking of the snack machine in the lobby.
Tried to get the boy to go with me swimming. He gave in and came with, after the whole event, I asked how he enjoyed it. His response "I don't like how the life guard is always looking at me" Hello!! That would be their job, they are watching to make sure the non-skinny people don't drown from exhaustion from holding in their tummies for an hour in the pool.
I just can't win.

[Kate]

Ha! I friggin' love it.

And, you look fabulous, period.

[Anna]

Fletch is a hottie. And funny too! Great vid - you should do more of them. :)

[rebecca]

Jen,
Thanks so much for putting a link to my blog on your page, I have gotten so many hits! PS fab video, love your hair!

[Nanc']

Awesome. More videos please!

[Lindsay]

OK, I had totally already planned to buy the book, but this makes we want to buy copies for all my friends too. You are absolutely hysterical!

[Lys]

LOVE the video, Jen!

Totally unrelated but I think I drove the people on the plane nuts as I read Bright Lights Big Ass AGAIN and kept crackin' up - oh well - they should start reading and then they will understand.

Can't wait til May for the new book and I'm buying a few books for friends as well!

[Patti_Mayo]

OMG...that was great...if I didn't already love you (in a strictly non stalkerish way), I'd love you....

I just about peed myself when Fletch came on and said "Jen working out has been the biggest pain in my ass, in my life"....I love Fletch too...

Jen, you are awesome...I so can't wait til your next book comes out.

[finickycritic.com]

Hilarious, Geez I hate working out more than going to the dentist... for multiple root canals. and I live with a work-out freak, marathon running-no fat eating- always making me feel like a lazy ass person.
www.finickycritic.com

[Heather]

I know I should be inspired to exercise now......but really..........How old does my 10 year old daughter, Abigail, have to be, before I put her in pearls too? I have two sets, she cannot have those until I die...so what is a realistic age?

[Selena]

Jen, you inspire me! I love, love that you share your struggles with us!!! Thanks so much and keep up the good work, girl!!

[sparkly_jules]

You are my new hero.

Go on with your bad self, girl.

*snap*

[Manic Mommy]

OMG JEN! That is hilarious and you make your workouts look so much fun and your hubby's a cutie, and I have felt like a schmuck since grabbing that dirty truffle off that floor at DOCs and stuffing it into my face that night at Eileen's book signing!

Anyway, good for you for working out and you look great doing it!

Steph aka Manic Mom -- still looking forward to the Printer's Row panel!

[Shelly]

Love it! You ROCK, Sista!

[Shannon]

Died. Laughing. Fletch = adorableness. You sound exactly like I thought you would...super-psyched for the Powell's date now! Thanks. :)

[Lisa Novachek]

Jen,
You are beautiful! I understand the whole health issue, and I feel your pain. Wear those pearls proudly. I'm trying to lose the 35 lbs I put on in the last year when I decided I didn't need to exercise anymore because I was constantly chasing after my kids. (A lot of the chasing must have included stopping for cookie breaks.) It's never easy, but bitchy girls will triumph!

Lisa

[kim]

Oooh, does Barbie = Polly? She doesn't look scary and bad ass, but those are the ones you have to look out for the most!

[Lisa]

So? Would coming to Chicago and stalking you until you became my friend be a bad thing? :)

Oh, and your video made me hungry for donuts. Thanks for the inspiration!

[Karen Mc in Dallas]

I'm going to get my pearls out now and only wear them. Think of all the money I'll save by not buying any other jewelry! Thanks Jen!

[Ev Straker]

Can't friggen wait!!!! I just finished Bright Lights, Big Ass and loved it. My friend told me about Bitter is the New Black and I have just started that one. Can't wait for your third!!

[Lori]

I do, I do, I feel your pain. Fifteen years I spent doing such unnatural, horrifying, sweat-inducing things, to no avail. I lack both the "willpower" and "I feel full" genes, and in 2001 I submitted to gastric bypass. (Size 4 instead of 22, worth it!)

http://www.fermentedfur.com

[Trish Weidig]

Jen,

I'm local, and I "get" what it is like to be a Chicago-area woman who wants to lose weight-- especially after this awful winter! I read this book...maybe fifteen years ago?...and it was pretty helpful for me. I thought I'd put it out there for you or anyone else looking for a little extra OOMPH where losing weight is concerned. It's called _Diets Don't Work_, by Bob Schwartz. It didn't have a diet to follow, suggest any meal plans, recommend supplements, or anything of that nature. It was upfront, easily understandable advice on how to think about food in a way that doesn't make you feel like you constantly have to be vigilant about what you put in your mouth.

I still remember a quote that is something along these lines: "If you wanted to be wealthy, you wouldn't study what poor people do. You'd study what wealthy people do. If you want to be thin, don't do what heavy people do. Study thin people...." The book then describes what naturally thin people do that keep them thin. At the time I read it, I was dieting and exercising, but feeling a little lag in my motivation. This book helped me through the slump and changed the way I approached food. And, yes, I did lose quite a bit of weight.

I think people like you who are already having significant success with diet and exercise (Congrats, by the way! You look gorgeous!) will also find this book helpful and perhaps see even quicker results. I just had my second child and this book helped me get back to my pre-pregnancy shape a second time. I think it's still in print, even though I purchased it over a decade ago.

Good luck, Jen. Keep up the fabulous work. You seriously look brilliantly beautiful!

P.S. May I plug my own blog aimed at moms?

If any moms need a little humor about family life and being a working mom, my site is

www.pacifiersandprada.blogspot.com.

Grab a glass of wine and relax as you read. Just be careful of when you sip. I don't want to be responsible for any vino spraying all over your monitor....
--Trish

[LizClara]

I'm sorry, but my fav part of the video is when you say "I'm the author of my third book." Really...you dont say :)

[Eileen Cook]

You are totally my new hero. You're like wonder woman with pearls.

[DGs World By Big D]

Jen,
1. Keep writing!
2. Make more videos - funny shit! Fletch? CUUUUUUUUTE!
3. Thumbs up - excellent job getting healthy - you've inspired me to get my cholesterol checked.

(Just finished Bright Lights, Big Ass.
Laughed my own ample ass off and made my husband snuggle up with me in bed and listen to the passage about you slipping at Jewel's whilst wearing a condom on your head.
Laughed hysterically and then cried from too much exertion.)

Must go buy Such a Pretty Fat, although I refuse to give up my donuts and beer fixation. Or buttercream icing. But I might start working out again. You know, for the kids' sake. I want to be around to spoil grandkids someday.

[Sue]

Wow - you sure have guts...I just got off the treadmill and would NEVER let anyone see me on it (I even get mad when the hubs is in the room with me) let alone put it out there for all to see. I've loved your writing since the day I opened Bitter - now I'm soooo impressed with your fortitude and determination too. Way to go!!

[EAM]

Hilarious, Jen! You have to do more videos! I'm now inspired to go eat my bowl of oatmeal and head to the pool to swim. I live in Florida so no, I'm not crazy for swimming in the middle of a winter storm!

[Malia]

My boyfriend just fell in love with your husband.

[Courtney]

Love that you work out in pearls. I used to work with a girl that would be out in the field in fire retardant clothing, steel toe boots, and pearls. We teased, but I always loved that she did it.

[Elizabeth]

thump crash, just fell off my chair laughing

[Abigail Jennings]

Woman - how are you NOT on Oprah??? This is one of the best videos I've ever seen! Talk about motivation!! Are you bringing Fletch (and the donut) on tour with you?? You deserve major kudos for working out to get HEALTHY and not to become just like Barbie (although I'm sure she's a very nice girl, but it does look like that bitch has everything). Just sayin'. :0)
http://bigdreamswritecity.blogspot.com

[Kitkat]

I love that you are real. You just say it and whatever shit may fly, you accept it. Thank you

[Erin]

So funny. So REAL! :)

Enjoy the heck out of your writing and somehow I knew you'd have a great laugh!

I've seen the inside of a few gyms and I think the mantra is...Go hard or go home!

Yay you!

[ok, I know, enough with the exclamation points]

And I'm still waiting for the workout story contest.

[Angel A.]

You are absolutely, unbelievably, awesome!!! I don't mean to sound like everyone else, but you made my day with that video. I workout alot, but since I've hit my 40's it's really harder now. Just so you know, it's not easy for anyone, I don't care what they say. Keep on going girl, you are really beautiful tho no matter what. YOU ARE AWESOME!!! My pre-order for your book is already placed,....luv ya!!!

[Shansie B.]

Sooooo nice to see the real you and not the version in my head...can't wait for you to come to NYC!!! Also really great to see Fletch and your babies. I'm not sure what i imagined Fletch to look like, but he's a cutie (may have actually said it out loud when he made his cameo). Way to go! Can't wait for the newest book and am now starting to get really excited for the newest NEWEST book. Ahhh you make my day!

[Gabrielle]

I love Fletch's input. Hahah.