And What I've Been Right About? EVERYTHING ELSE

Setting:  My kitchen, doing dinner prep last Monday.

Me:  (peeling asparagus) (which makes it SO tender, be sure and try it next time) Hey, I had THE best workout today. 

Fletch:  Yeah?  What'd you do?

Me:  Well, when I walked into the gym trainers Tino and Mike greeted me by saying, "One thousand!"  So I was all, "One thousand!" back to them, figuring it was some expression I'd never heard.  Then I see Barbie and she explains we're going to do a one-thousand rep workout, meaning ten exercises one hundred times each.  And not easy exercises - I'm talking lunges and squats and stuff.

Fletch: (emptying the dishwasher) I bet that went over well with you.

Me:  Riiight.  When Barbie told me about the hundred push-ups, I was, like, "What, am I in the Army now?"

Fletch:  (shoulders still sore from three years worth of military service) You know nothing of push ups.

Me:  Whatev.  Anyway, I knew I was going to have a super-tough day so I bought an energy drink.  I expected it to have the Hot Orange Death flavor like the Ripped to the Max stuff I bought last summer, but it was good.  I mean, SO good I would drink it just to drink it.  Plus, it gave me so many strongs that not only did I complete my thousand reps, but then I burned another 1020 calories on the treadmill afterward, with running and everything!  I mean, seriously, one thousand reps AND one thousand calories?  That shit is AMAZING.

Fletch:  Impressive!  What'd you drink?  Liquid amphetamines?

Me:  Practically.  What I had was TnTea, lemon flavor. 

Fletch:  (pauses with a clean colander in his hand)  You're kidding. 

Me:  Um, no.  Why would I kid about an energy drink?

Fletch:  (incredulous) TnTea.

Me:  Yep.

Fletch:  You realize TnTea is the supplement I used all summer.  Remember?  I kept trying to get you to taste it because I thought you'd like it and you flat-out refused.  Why?  Why would you refuse? 

Me:  Huh.  Must have thought it looked yucky.  Yet I was so very wrong.

Fletch:  (sputtering)  But!  But!  You wouldn't even take a sip.  Not one goddamned sip.

Me:  And too bad for me because it was delicious!  It gave me so much energy!  I'm actually still vibrating like a hummingbird.

Fletch:  (in a bit of a lather, if you want to know the truth)  So why would you not even TASTE it? 

Me:  (rinsing the asparagus) I dunno.

Fletch:  Even after I PROMISED you you'd like it?  We got to the point I told you I'd give you a dollar or let you take a swing at me if you didn't.

Me:  (shrugs) Beats me.  Maybe you should have been more persistent.

Fletch:  Short of pouring it down your throat, I could not have been more persistent.

Me:  Yet it's a shame I didn't try it sooner because I loved it!

Fletch:  (bangs head against cabinet)

* * *

The point of this little vignette is twofold - first, it demonstrates exactly how stubborn I am when I believe I'm right.  Second, the fact I'm such a good sport when finally proved wrong makes me all the more aggravating.  So, in the spirit of not annoying the bejesus out Fletch and others (and before my stupid opinions/actions become an issue) I'm publicly admitting I was wrong about the following:

* Purchasing an entire case of Hot Orange Death-flavored Ripped to the Max.   

* Promising I'd use our treadmill every day.  (In my defense I would have, if the basement didn't smell so much like pee.)

* Insisting we purchase TV trays (now languishing in the pee-pee basement next to the lonely, pristine treadmill) because I didn't realize I'd rather eat off a real table or the ottoman.

* Putting fancy underwear on the cover of the new book.  Apparently a number of people (who aren't me) find products from places like La Perla and Victoria's Secret and Cosabella and Agent Provocateur appealing.  Huh.  Who knew?

* The Indianapolis 500, which takes place at the end of May every year... except on a leap year and maybe I should have actually looked at the calendar rather than just calling my publicist in a huge panic about Indy hotel rooms.  (Fletch gets partial blame for this one.)

* Jean jackets.  But not Crocs.  Crocs still ROCK. 

* Two and a Half Men, which I refused to watch for five years, despite my father insisting it's the funniest show on television.  (BTW, the crush I developed on Charlie Sheen in the '80s?  Is back.  Hard.  Also?  I'm delighted to see how well Jon Cryer has aged in comparison to Andrew McCarthy, who appears to have been let out of his crypt to film Lipstick Jungle.  Oh, Duckie, Molly Ringwald would totally choose you now.)

* Organic produce and dairy.  Also?  Anything soy-based.   

* Letting the book Middlesex sit on my shelf for two years because I thought it looked dull.  (And what's more boring than Pulitzer Prize-winning novels about hermaphrodites?  Um, everything, that's what.)

* Chicken Cacciatore, which Fletch tricked me into eating by calling it "Hunter's stew," only revealing its true name/nature after I'd licked the plate clean.

* Thinking I'd be happier watching Flavor of Love 3 in high-def.  (I have one word for you - SPITTLE.  High-def Flavor Flav spittle.  Gah.)

And... I think that's everything.  Now it's your turn - what would you like to publicly admit you've been wrong about?  Pilates?  Recycling?  Finally buying pants one size up?  Rock the Cradle or any other fine, fine VH1 programming?

The comments section awaits your confessions.      

P.S.  One thousand reps followed by eighty minutes/one thousand calories in the same session?  Justine can SUCK IT.

   

Comments

[Carolyn]

I am NEVER wrong!! And if I was..... I would NEVER admit it in print!

:)

Carolyn

[richcat]

So how many calories in that TNTEA? I'm not a fan of energy drinks so maybe that's what I'm wrong about!

[Erin]

I LOVE Two and a Half Men! I almost want to buy the DVDs but since it is on twice a night every night I have managed not to succomb to this urge.

[Carrie]

I'm totally with you on Middlesex - I thought it looked too hard. Then, when I finally did pick it up, I couldn't put it down!

And yeah, Rock of Love 2. It's bad. But the very, very good kind of bad.

I was also wrong about the sandwich bread this morning. It's okay to have 2 open loaves at one time. My husband accepts my apologies.

[Frothandfrippery]

Well, after priding myself on knowing all things about proper kitchen safety and knife-usage because I majored in Home Economics Education, I nearly cut off the tip of my finger while slicing dried mushrooms this weekend. Dried mushrooms are remarkably similar in texture to human fingertips, by the way...

Did you notice my degree was in education? Meaning that I should be astute enough in proper knife safety to teach others? Did I also mention this is the SECOND time this year I've nearly cut the tip of my finger off?

I just bought an entire honeydew melon, and now I'm scared to cut it up (maybe it has something to do w/my lack of a usable finger). So I'm going to take it to my BFF's house and see if she'll cut it up for me before it rots. I have been reduced to an invalid in my own kitchen. I'm going to have to use one of those pumpkin carving knives from now on.

[Stevie]

Scallops. I was at a Christmas party one year when I decided to pop a bacon wrapped scallop into my mouth and was blown away. I don't know weather to describe the look on my face as shocked or horrified when I found out what it was. I still can't do sea food if I KNOW it's sea food. Trick me and you might win me over.

[Izabis717]

Reading: I use to love to read but was "too busy" then last summer I bought a book and couldnt put it down. Hmm, I believe it was written by the fabulous Jen herself. I now spend 50 dollars a week on books and can finish a book in a few hours. I'm addicted!

[Lea in SC]

Wrong about...seeing Kid Rock in concert. I thought it would be such a waste, and I would spend most of the time walking the arena's concourse to avoid the horror. It was, and still is, one of the best effing concerts I have ever attended (and I have been to a LOT). Excellent performer and awesome show.

[Nina]

Since I can't think of an original I will follow others and say I was wrong about Rock of Love. I would not have anything to do with it last year and this year I AM HOOKED!!

[Amy]

My job! Who knew? I always swore up and down that I would do ANYTHING BUT casework with my social work degree. What am I doing now? Casework for child protection. Adore adore adore my job. Damn, I hate when I'm wrong ;)

[Liz C]

Parenting: I had my son when my daughter was 16 years old. I swore I'd be a completely different parent, since I was *so* much older and wiser. WRONG!

Sex & the City: I tried to watch it a few years back and was repulsed. I'm not a prude, but it made me sooo uncomfortable! Fast forward a year or two -- I was newly divorced after 28 years and was obsessively watching episode after episode. I can't wait for the movie! Hmmm... wonder where those uncomfortable feelings were really coming from?

Job: I was sure since it actually called for a degree in my major that it would be a great fit. Not! But I really needed a full-time job (that divorce again) and it came at the perfect time. Plus there's nowhere else around here I can make reasonable money. Oh well.

And of course countless other times I've forgotten about. I'm such a stubborn know-it-all that it happens to me all the time.

[Linda]

I was wrong when I thought that blocking off the corner of the basement where the cat peed the first time would cause her to use the litter box...just caused her to pee in a new corner. To that end, may I suggest "Urine Gone". It says "as seen on TV" on the bottle, but I got mine at the grocery store. That shit actually works. I dumped half a bottle where the cat peed, let it sit for a couple of hours and then stomped on a towel to blot it up and threw the towel away. Carpet's still ruined, but it doesn't stink anymore.

[Colleen]

I thought I was the only person over 30 who loves ( and at the same time was repulsed) by Flavor Flav!

I also love “Shot at Love” - that was a total train wreck waiting to happen. But I could not look away.

[Nanz]

Las Vegas: I avoided the place like the plague because I grew up in the northern east coast and since Atlantic City is such a shithole I thought Vegas would be the same. For years my husband tried to convince me to go for a weekend but I refused. Well a few years ago I finally gave in. I fell in love with all the designer boutiques you can't find here in San Francisco. Now we make a point of taking a long weekend once a year so I can update my wardrobe.

[Cordygirl]

I didn't want to watch Veronica Mars when it first came on because people compared it to Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and there's NO WAY it could be as good as Buffy. I was wrong, it was much BETTER than Buffy, and it only took me 1/2 way through Season 1 to figure that out. Too bad the rest of America never did. RIP Veronica Mars...

And mushrooms. I hated mushrooms when I was a kid, and up through college insisted I hated them. Then someone tricked me into trying a deep fried mushroom, and now, as long as they're not raw, I love them in anything.

I was also wrong in thinking you can't love two people at once... for those of you who still think that, I hope you never have it happen to you. It sucks.

[SnarkyMommy]

Southport Grocery cupcakes being better than Sweet Mandy Bs. It was your cupcake post, Jen, that made me try a taste test. Holy crap, the Southport Grocery vanilla cupcake beats Sweet Mandy Bs', hands down.

It's OK to be lazy and not close the gate because we live in Lincoln Park and there's no crime here. What a dumbass I am -- forgetting the reason we INSTALLED the damn gate is because someone stole copper piping off the house. Yep, didn't close the gate and the car got broken into and GPS now belongs to some hoodlum out there.

[Candice]

Tivo-Ok so it does rock and no my life on the weekend doesn't revolve around the shows I tapped earlier that week. Who knew--EVERYONE-DUH!

[Nicole]

I was wrong in choosing to read "Middlesex" first when my friend gave me that and "Bright Lights Big Ass" to read. Thinking I'd had enough "chick-lit" the past six months I could redeem myself by reading this highly acclaimed novel. HA! I figured out after four mind-numbingly boring chapters reciting the family lineage and actually seeing the author on Oprah that it was semi-autobiographical and I lost interest. I mean really! Have you seen that guy?! Anyway, BLBA was a much better book and totally made me a Jen Lancaster fan. I was also wrong about wine and email NOT mixing. It totally does. I love taking a verbal dump on people I hate through email when I'm buzzed!

[kare]

SUSHI.

Slimy. Mixed textures. Raw. Things I never thought should be consumed. So Wrong. Definitely a staple to any balanced diet!

UGGs.

Poor judgment by metropolitan college chicks wearing UGGs, sweatpants and messy hair totally tweaked a stereotype, and something I did not look to enjoy. Again, wrong to judge the UGGs. Comfortable, warm, and can totally be worn sans saggy-butt sweatpants.

[JRM]

I was wrong to think that I didn't need the college degree and everyone telling me "just finish it already" were right.

[Kara]

I was wrong about taking this job. Oh, I said, It Will Be Great, I cooed, I Can Really Make A Difference.

Not so much.

[valis]

WOW.

No, literally - World of Warcraft. My dork of a husband has played it for years, and after moving in begged me to just watch him play. Out of a deep love for him I spent an evening watching him slay things and talk smack. We called it "sharing our interests".

Then he begged me to try. Eleven months later I have my own account and guild. It's ridiculous and now I can't have a conversation without dropping some gamer code word into it. The shame . . .

[Brandy]

I'm never wrong about anything except TV shows. I never want to watch "popular" TV shows, and when I end up catching one or two episodes, I can't stop myself. Case in point: CSI, Scrubs, Gilmore Girls, all of which I refused to watch from the beginning, and now adore.

[lucy]

Refusing to watch "The Biggest Loser," because I thought it was a show that the media was using to ridicule the "weight challenged." I am sooo very glad that I was wrong. I even got my normally reality television-critical spouse to watch it, and root for the participants.

[Danielle]

I too dislike Chicken Cacciatore, maybe I am wrong? Nah. :)

[Kelly]

Dude. Andie totally should have chosen Duckie in the first place-I have always thought that. I have even proclaimed in my blog that I have a secret (well, not so secret now) crush on Duckie!

Two things off the top of my head that I have recently been wrong about:

Grey's Anatomy: There was NO WAY I was gonna watch that show. I mean, who in their right minds could see Patrick Dempsey as ANYTHING besides Ronald Miller (you 80's movie geeks know JUST what I am talking about)??? Yeah, guess who's in love with McDreamy now??

Wine: I always hated wine. HATED it. 'Course, I grew up in a beer-filled world. Wine was a yuppie drink. I had never even TASTED wine, but I hated it. Now, I live in wine country. I took my first sip a couple years ago, and now I have been drinkin' enough wine for all those years of "hating" it.

Just please don't tell my husband of my admission of wrongs.

[Amanda]

Steak. I hated steak and couldn't understand how anyone would charge so much for it and call it a premium meat. Then I met my husband and he taught me to leave a little pink in the center (instead of burning the crap out of it like my mom). I've put on about thirty pounds in the five years we've been together but it's sooooo worth it! Also, I don't get lock-jaw from eating it now!

By the way, THANKS for suggesting(?) people buy pants one size up (so they actually fit). I live right between two college towns. I see more muffin tops in one week than Otis Spunkmeyer. Who are these girls kidding?

[Christine]

Crocs are evil. Ew.

I have been wrong about working for a woman. The one who is my boss is delightful!

[Vanessa]

I was wrong about House. I love that show, yet for years had endless reasons I couldn't possibly watch it. I don't have cable--it doesn't come on cable, I work that night--the office isn't open at night, I live in the wrong time zone (yes I actually said this)--there is no wrong time zone. Someone got on my blockbuster online account by guessing my all to easy password and put season one at the top so it was sent to me without me knowing it was coming then came over and made me watch it. Yes, I'm glad I was wrong.

[tutugirl1345]

Oh, I was also wrong about LOST. I couldn't believe people could be such losers and be so obsessed with a show. Well, I ended up watching all four seasons in 1 week, and now read LOST blogs on a regular basis...oops.

[tutugirl1345]

I was wrong about thinking that I could handle having cable in my apartment after a childhood without it. I am wrong on a weekly basis, when I go into Whole Foods thinking I won't spend $80 on my groceries. Oh, and I'm wrong on nearly a daily basis when I tell myself I'm going to get out of bed before 9:00 am.

Two questions for Jen: First, couldn't you get the same kind of energy from a massive cup of coffee as you get from that tea? Or is it even better?
Second, how were you wrong about organic produce? Do you love it now? My roommate got me to switch over the summer and I love it.

[Meghan]

I was wrong about Lord of the Rings. I made fun of people for years who really liked the books and movies and my father finally talked me into reading Fellowship. I only made it about 3/4ths of the way through but TNT had the trilogy on all yesterday and I sat there in wrapped attention and watched all three movies...I'll probably read them all now.

[Moose]

Alias. I was oh-so-very wrong about Alias. I thought, "I do not dig Jennifer Garner in synthetic wigs." Turns out, I TOTALLY dig Jennifer Garner in synthetic wigs. Bring on the synthetic wigs!

[Stephanie]

Buffy The Vampire Slayer TV series-
After the movie with PEE WEE HERMAN as a blood-sucking vamp and with a name like BUFFY, how could I honestly take it seriously. Well, my brother in law made me watch just one episode and now, shamefully, I own every last one on DVD AND have the comics from the "unfilmed" season 8. Now, I've also been convinced to experience other formerly "nerdy" persuits like Graphic Novels and anything with a spaceship in it that does NOT star Will Smith. I'm discovering my closet geek...ME LIKEY!

[Sarah]

Caesar Salad. And like you, Crocs. Can't wait to slip my feet in the new pair awaiting me in my closet.

BTW - I'm about 8 pages from finishing Bitter is the New Black. It's at home - I'm at work (bored) and kicking myself for not bringing it along with me today.

[Kelly]

I have a tendency to get into shows just as they are finishing up, or after they are already done. I did this with:

Friends
Gilmore Girls
The Sopranos
and most recently LOST.

I end up watching all gazillion seasons in a row on the couch with cookie dough ice cream. ouch. :)

[Erin]

NASCAR.
I thought that if I got into NASCAR I would officially be a redneck, even though I grew up in New England.
It took a few Sundays' worth of races to get me into it, but now I watch every race. And if you say, oh, it's just a bunch of cars going around and around, you're missing the art of the sport. You need to love speed and adrenaline and have a competitive bone in your body to enjoy it, though. Not for everyone, but I was totally wrong.
And Dale Earnhardt Jr. is the best eye candy out there.

[Dave]

I've got way too many wrongs to confess, but I'd like to second (or third?) those who've already mentioned the greatness that is Middlesex. It's one of the...um...actually, come to think of it, it might be the ONLY book my lady friend has recommended to me that I actually enjoyed. Good stuff.

[Nina]

NutriSystem. It Sucks hard core! Why spend almost $300.00 on food that tastes like shit? Some of it isn't too bad, but to eat it day after day would totally suck. Marie Osmond lost forty pounds by dancing, not through NutriSystem. She lies. I threw it all out this morning. Wasted money? Perhaps, but getting my love of food back? Worth all the money in the world.

[Cindy from Cincinnati]

I was wrong about Gin & Tonic's. I couldn't stomach Tonic, until my friend Ashley made me a good one and the rest is history. I'm now a huge fan and it's the drink of choice when faced with a bar decision. (At home, I drink the Cindy Special, which is Absolut Mandarin, a splash of light cranberry juice and fill up the rest of the glass with Dt. 7up, the ultimate mixer. Delicious!)

[Diane Carroll]

What was I wrong about?
Well, first of all I was wrong in thinking that I was always right. Took me 40 years to realize that.

Second, I was one of those parents who swore no child of mine will ever need ADD meds before I realized she needed them and how much they helped her.

Third, that I would learn to love Mundelein, IL - still hasn't happened for me... yet.

[Diane Carroll]

What was I wrong about?
Well, first of all I was wrong in thinking that I was always right. Took me 40 years to realize that.

Second, I was one of those parents who swore no child of mine will ever need ADD meds before I realized she needed them and how much they helped her.

Third, that I would learn to love Mundelein, IL - still hasn't happened for me... yet.

[Dawn]

I was wrong about how chill I'd be planning my wedding. While I'm no bridezilla, I do constantly worry and obsess over the most minute details. I don't think I've annoyed anyone yet but there are still 5 months to go.

[The Modern Gal]

Oh! And reality TV, though I gave up American Idol after one season. I was totally right about that.

[shannon d.]

things i have been wrong about....hmmm...
1- that fat people must simply not care about being fat or else they'd lose weight. (guess who's fat now??!!)
2- that i can always finish college later (very unwise decision)
3- for the longest time as a child i claimed i disliked ham, and refused to eat it. (i know, ham is delicious!! one reason why i am fat now.)
4- that oral sex was gross. (hee hee. changed my tune on that one.)
5- that epidurals are for wusses. (guess who was the biggest wuss ever? i heart epidurals now!!!!! love them.)
i am sure i have been wrong about so much more, but i like to forget that kind of stuff. lol.

[Carrie]

Middlesex....that's what I was wrong about! I ran to the store to get it and for 3 days, never looked up. And then I found I couldn't sleep so I "took a break" from it.

5 months later, it's dusty and staring back at me from the coffee table and I just cannot bring myself to finish it. What's wrong with me???

[salli]

I would like to publicly admit that I was wrong about Dansko clogs, even though I still think I look like a lesbian from the knees down. And what was I thinking when I told everyone I'd always be friends with my ex-husband? He is such a douche bag now! How did I EVER overlook this fact?

[The Modern Gal]

The resurgent trend of tunics. I tried in vain to avoid buying one until I realized they cover my ever-growing waistband so well.

I'm not budging on my dislike of the Crocs though.

[Melissa]

Dawson's Creek and Rock of Love. The angst of Dawson, Joey and stupid Pacey, all greatness. I was even able to overlook the fact that these "kids" were talking in ways 30-somethings don't even talk in.

And Rock of Love? Is just pure genius in a bandana. Love. It.

[Karin]

Slim Fast- because when I first tried it I did not get SLIM, FAST- but now, I drink 5 a day, which I am pretty sure is not part of the rules...