Six Days, Six Words

Jesus Christ, am I weary. 

I've been ridiculously, obscenely busy for the past six days.  That's not necessarily a bad thing because I thrive under stress and I'm much better off fully occupied than having big chunks of time on my hands.  However, this website (and really, most of my career) is tangible proof that a bored Jen = a Jen who spies and picks fights and documents the results... so there's that. 

In case you're curious, in the last six days I've:

Gone to a radio station and recorded an essay slated to run on a national program. (Side note:  Am likely the only person to ever leave an NPR affiliate, get in her car, and flip on Rush Limbaugh without even an hint of irony.)

Written an article for a major magazine.

Been interviewed by a paper of record. (Not THE paper of record, but close enough for horseshoes or hand grenades.)

Answered questions for an upcoming television appearance.

Lest you think I'm too impressed with myself, please note that none of the above are sure things.  I can't confirm any of this stuff will run until I see it/hear it on the radio, internet, or newsstand. 

In the last six days, I've also:

Struggled to make the basement smell less like pee. (FAIL.)

Done ridiculous stuff to my body every day at the gym for at least two hours a shot.  (Did you know this old thing could run a mile for the very first time in its 40 years of existence?  TWICE?  I certainly didn't.)  (Nor did my cardiovascular system because hit 200 BPM.)  (What's nice is my trainer ALSO almost had a heart attack when she saw my pulse rate.)

Learned why you don't consume diet tea ordered off the internet.  (UPDATE:  Point of clarification - the TnTea described last week is still awesome.  The troublesome party is the Three Ballerinas Dieter's Tea I recently got.  Trust me, DO NOT WANT.) 

Watched the series finale of Rock of Love with WAY too many invested emotions.

Called the police on my new neighbor.  (What was I supposed to do when I saw a stranger climbing under my car with a Zippo?)  (Apparently he lost the key to his new house somewhere on the curb and was trying to find it with only the wan incandescence of a lighter.  For four hours.  So far I am unimpressed with his problem-solving skills.)

Fortunately, this is the year Fletch and I finally got our heads out of our asses and had our taxes done by a CPA so that was one less worry.  (Another side note:  I just got back from the post office and watched a man do his entire tax return from the counter over by the packing boxes.  And not the EZ form either - I'm talking the one with all the schedules and complex equations.)

Point?  Our CPA is so, so nice and when he came over Sunday, we found out it was his birthday and he laughed about never, ever getting to celebrate it on the actual day.  I felt bad not having any cake on hand (you might be surprised at how often I DO have birthday cake in the house) and I wanted to have something nice for him when he stopped by with our forms last night.  I came up with a plan and started to run out the door but realized I need to let Fletch know when I'd be back.  This is what I wrote:

Anyway, that got me thinking about this thing I've seen and heard of in a couple of places lately.  Long ago, Ernest Hemingway bet someone he could write a life's story in six words.  A fellow bar patron took that wager and ended up owing Papa a ten spot for writing:  "For sale, baby shoes, never worn." 

So this six-word cupcake note?  Sums up my life pretty damn well.  But then, right before I left for the post office today, I came up with an even better six-word-story when I realized the fruit flies in the hallway were coming from the banana I'd forgotten in my handbag:

My new six words?  "Have officially turned into my mother."

And now while I catch my breath from a very long week, tell me your story in six words.

UPDATE:  There's a whole book of six word memoirs by famous people!  Sweet!

Comments

[sarah]

my first blog,cheers!(actually second)

[sarah]

mall of america, two year old

[Diane]

Wife, attorney, dog lover, traveler- utopia!

[Aleasha]

Life's a beach, don't forget sunscreen.

[Aleasha Zumbar]

Life is hard, then you die.

[Sarah Grace]

Jen, love that note - that's kind of the story of my life. Viva la cupcakes! Hope to see you in NY soon!

[Kate]

Just started blog, please read it!

[Betsy]

Read BITNB (that only counts as one word, right?).
Also Unemployed.
Identify.
Raaar.

[Manic Mommy]

Wow, it's been a crazy week here for Manic Mommy. Had a birthday (now I will FOREVER by 39!!!!!!), my son's close 10-year-old friend had a brain tumor removed, and I'm sick. I long to spend the next six hours reading all these awesome posts, and I plan to tomorrow after another good 12-hour night's sleep courtesy of a double-dose of Nyquil. For now, the only thing I can come up with for my six words:

"There's a Method to Her Manic."

[Shelly]

It's not very easy being me.

[PetitMal]

I am fuckin *dead* at "For sale, skinny jeans, never worn"!!!!!!!! LMFAO!!!!

Mine would be "Drug-addled book whore, lovin life!"

[keri c]

another good one... but more than six words.

SAW IT, WANTED IT, HAD A FIT, GOT IT! :)

[keri c]

I got a degree for this?

or

I'll start dieting and exercising tomorrow.
(this one has been my slogan for much longer!!!)

[Jamison]

This isn't the life I ordered.

[Jamison]

This isn't the life I ordered.

[Shugee]

Chipped tooth, IQ plummets 50 points!

[Alisha]

Always fat. Lost 120. New life!

[JenBun]

This was just on my blog last week, too, but here's what I chose:

I love to love you, baby!

[Danielle]

Come on, was that really necessary?

Chosen simply because those are the words I tend to say most often. Particularly to revving motorcycles and sports cars with blaring bass notes in residential districts.

Seriously, I respect your love for hip-hop, but there really is no need to share your joy with me and everyone else on my street. Thank you. And good morning.

[Shannon]

"daughter died, took me with her" sliced through my heart. whoever you are, i wish you comfort and peace.

My 6:

Glass near full, grateful lucky me.

[Krissy]

It's Friday, had wine, very...relaxed?

[Claudia W.]

Life not lived as dreamt about.

[Christa Booth]

Rolling out of the bed... DISMOUNT!!!

[Dana Whitaker]

Still looking for the "real me."

[be the change]

Oh, sorry, I said that already

[Jennifer]

Mustn't sleep on first date. Again.

[Jennifer]

Mustn't sleep on first date. Again.

[Jen R]

Cannot seem to find my brain

[Holly Viola]

Sex, it's disappointing for me.

[A Jill of All Trades]

My life summed up in six words:

I rocked out then faded away.

Sounds sad? Oh no....trek over to my blog!! ;)

[boo]

life is good, love is not
lost a husband and 11 pounds
amazing friends and family love me
gave it up to the universe
eat pizza, drink wine, watch sunsets
never lose sight of your self

Well, that was 6 squared, but it's where I am. Thanks for making us laugh - that's truly priceless.

[Melissa]

Will work for vacation or martinis

[Kristina]

Jen, I seriously love you! anyways,

my 6

Ha! Finally in charge you idiots!

after working for months to score a general managers position of a new hotel thats being built. I'm 23. Jen, does this count as putting in enough time before getting a sweet job? lol. probably not. dont worry, will be working 80 hours a week to make 28,000 a year. not all that sweet :(

[KGON'sider]

Common sense isn't all that common.

[jen_n_va]

Jen,
i have just recently begun to read your books and i must say i love them. You are hysterical mostly because you truely mean everything that you say. I can't help but feel close to you as I also do not have the filter that is supposed to be between the mind and the mouth. Either way, my six words for life are:
eat, sleep, potty then pay bills!

[julie]

Must have been switched at birth

[KarenMc in Dallas]

Walking on Katy Trail with iPod - Happy

[Hollie]

Retirement is in how many years?
(I'm 30.)

Why'd I grow up so fast?

[Jen]

Partied like Rockstar, Now? starting family.

And couldn't be happier about it.

[Kelly]

I'm no victim, I'm a volunteer!

or

Been There, Done That, Bought souvenirs!

[Lisa]

Why? Why do I even bother?

Can't wait to see you in Philly!! (stay away from anywhere the begins with West or North...)

[Nicki]

Cupcakes are medicine for my soul.

[Erin]

I would definitely leave and NPR affiliate and turn on Rush Limbaugh! I love your conservative humor!

[Jacqueline]

Small boobs, big ass, not fair.

[marty]

i've got two that come to mind...

mommy and wife...but still ME.

makeup. shoes. shopping. one happy gal!

and this is someone else's so I can't claim it, but I love it:

men: an accessory, not a necessity.

[Bitter w/baggage]

under-eye cream, killer shoes, cashmere

[stacy]

From this morning's sun times on the state of our society:

Artist walking for peace found murdered.

[Gena]

Hope - with that, I have everything.

[amanda]

Married in a parking garage

[Dianne P]

divorce, cancer ... deliriously happy Act II