What I wrote:
Dear FedEx,
Can you please leave the package between the screen and front door? I'm home but on a conference call and might not be able to make it to the front of the house to sign.
Thanks,
Jen Lancaster
What I really meant:
Dear FedEx,
I am napping.
Again.
I know.
But frankly, I'm as tired as you are of seeing me in my pajamas, so please just leave my stuff here between the doors and we'll both be spared our routine ten seconds of awkward conversation.
Thanks,
Jen Lancaster
How do you so casually mention this fourth book? Just hidden in there so you almost miss it!I will be camping in front of my local Chapters store waiting! Also, is there any chance ever you will make it North to Canada?
Posted by: Erin | June 01, 2008 at 12:17 PM
A word to the wise for all of you working ladies who have Blackberries...do not EVER read this blog during a sales meeting...it turns out that snorting and choking due to uncontrolled laughter is unacceptable in the work place...
Posted by: Amisue | May 30, 2008 at 09:39 AM
I'm with Tina on her question! I remember you asking us for ideas about what you should write your next book about and I remember you mentioning working on your book proposal, but I don't remember ever hearing the proposal was accepted! Woohoo!!! BOOK FOUR!!!! Ladies, start your credit cards!!!!!
Soooooooooo ... what's it going to be about??? Will you write about college and sorority life, as so many of us requested? Tell, tell, TELL!!! :-)
Posted by: Ginny | May 30, 2008 at 07:08 AM
MUST remember that one. Notorious napper here. Good on you!
Posted by: amyinbc | May 29, 2008 at 11:55 PM
What did FedEx bring?
Posted by: Shelli | May 29, 2008 at 10:47 PM
Snort. That's hilarious. BTW, I really wish you were coming to Austin on your book tour!
http://andria-and-co.com
Posted by: Andria | May 29, 2008 at 09:59 PM
NEW BOOK? that's the damn important part...about what?
Posted by: Tina | May 29, 2008 at 07:26 PM
He must not be that cute - or is he?
BTW - I am so glad you've added Boston to your list of promo stops. I've already read SAPF so I'll be at Boylston's Borders on 25Jun to greet you with the best cupcakes this side of Boston!
Posted by: MichBoston | May 29, 2008 at 07:12 PM
I just wish FedEx would just come to my house. Although, I like the idea of avoiding them in my pajamas - or worse, with greasy, shower-lessed hair!
Posted by: donna | May 29, 2008 at 07:11 PM
The FedEx people keep changing every other week, but I heart my UPS guy. We have good chats, and I have plied him with fresh-out-of-the-oven homemade banana bread, but he's married (sigh--I would so be all over that, given the opportunity).
It is a little embarrassing, though, how many packages I seem to get from Victoria's Secret. I'm sure he secretly thinks I have some crazy fetish or I'm running a brothel. The reality is I just have reverse body dysmorphia. I keep buying all these cute things in much, much smaller sizes than I can possibly wear, and I have to send them all back (he doesn't see that part). For a few days afterward, I feel like a cow, then the dysmorhpia sets in, and I start the whole cycle all over again. I think I just need to take a picture of me in said tiny knickers, tape it to my armoire, and be done with it. I guess it's better than ordering from Lands End all the time and having him think I have a big collection of mom jeans and swimsuits with skirts.
Posted by: iamlandlocked | May 29, 2008 at 06:49 PM
I knew a delivery guy once who got all the best notes. One of them was "I'm naked so please don't knock" and another said "If I don't answer when you knock, please check on me to make sure I'm not lying unconscious on the floor while cats eat my face."
Posted by: Erika | May 29, 2008 at 05:52 PM
Why are all UPS men HOT?! At least they are here in California ... so much hotter than the Fed Ex guys!
Posted by: Twenty Four At Heart | May 29, 2008 at 05:31 PM
I always meet the Schwan's man in my jammies. HE comes at a time when normal folks are dressed, but well...I'mnot. So he gets an eyeful of the braless Wonder Twins and my sock monkey jammies.
Did it work?
Posted by: Shannon | May 29, 2008 at 05:01 PM
Oh, FedEx. How you always manage to turn me into that five year old who hears the ice cream man ten blocks away is beyond me, but that signature smile on thos amazon boxes gets me more excited than chocolate covered strawberries and roses.....
Posted by: Indigo*Blu | May 29, 2008 at 04:41 PM
did you also catch your book review in People magazine??
Posted by: car | May 29, 2008 at 03:33 PM
Fed Ex never listens to me nor does UPS. Then again, I think they both have "Beware of B*tch" posters with my picture up on them in their trucks. Clearly, they know I'm a shrew *LOL* but I wouldn't be if they just, I dunno, didn't screw up everything? Jus' sayin.
Posted by: Lys | May 29, 2008 at 03:23 PM
Did FedEx heed? Because whenever I leave UPS notes like that, UPS doesn't heed.
Posted by: The Modern Gal | May 29, 2008 at 03:18 PM
And the burning question is ... did he? Because I find, no matter how clear and simple my instructions, people still find a way to screw things up! (And no, I am not the bitch boss from hell. I am actually the boss of no one except my two kids and they only allow me to live in the delusional belief that I am the boss even of them!)
Posted by: Ginny | May 29, 2008 at 03:06 PM
I'm sure the Fed Ex guy is fine with lies.
Unless your pajamas are super low cut.
Posted by: Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah | May 29, 2008 at 03:03 PM