OK, Now I Can Tell You

I'm on my BlackBerry so I don't have the time to be coy. Here's the news straight up:

Such a Pretty Fat just hit the USA Today bestseller list

AND

SAPF debuts at number 20 on the New York Times bestseller list in next Sunday's paper

AND

Fletch just gave himself food poisoning, this time by eating old lamb tips.

(Two of these events are a shock. Try to guess which one isn't.)