Opening Day!

The most frequent question I got while out on tour was what I thought about the new Sex and the City movie.  I guess when you start your second book with the opening line, "Carrie Bradshaw is a fucking liar," people tend to think you have a problem with the SATC franchise. 

Untrue.

I worship Candace Bushnell.  I loved the book first and then the show, and I've adored Sarah Jessica Parker since her Square Pegs days. 

(However, I'm slightly less enamored with SJP now because I heard a true story about her being rude to someone I know and it makes me mad.) 

(Also, here's some advice if you ever plan on being rich/famous/in the tabloids - BE NICE TO THE GUY DRIVING YOU.  I learned over the past few weeks of getting rides to book events that limo drivers are the new Page Six and all it takes for them to spill the dirt is sliding into their backseat wearing a conservative sundress and pearls and asking, "So, which famous people are assholes?")

(And I swear I'm not making this up, but want to guess who's universally hated?  Yep, that's night.  Rachael Ray.  Like we didn't see that coming.  And Sean Penn is super nice - I actually didn't see that coming - but apparently you can't ask him not to smoke in the car.  It's like asking him not to breathe.)

Asides aside, my one regret is that I have an event tonight and I can't get together with girlfriends, swill a bunch of cocktails, and see the movie on opening day.  Here's the thing - I can love the writing and appreciate the acting and enjoy the styling even though the reality depicted in SATC is nothing like most of our own real lives in the city.  The movie is a fantasy.  But that's just fine.  I don't really want to see a movie about fighting with neighbors and shopping at Target.  Escapism suits me nicely.

However, since the show came out and whenever groups of girls gather together, the discussion inevitably becomes, "Which character are you?"  Everyone's all, "Oh!  I'm a Charlotte because I'm a good girl!" or "I'm an attorney so I am all about Miranda!" or "I'm a Carrie because I write!"  (No one ever says, "I'm a whore so I'm a Samantha," BTW.) 

This is the part that bothers me.  I hate seeing women trying to pigeonhole themselves into one of those roles. 

Because you know what? 

There are plenty of gals out there who have healthy self-esteem and solid relationships and they don't spend all their money on $400 Manolos and waste all their energy fixating on whether or not he's going to call.  Rather, they're of the mindset that, "Of course he'll call.  Why?  Because he knows he'll be fucking lucky to have me."

These women don't trawl the town every night.  Rather, they enjoy sitting at home alone or with their partner, watching reality TV in their pajamas and good jewelry, and drinking wine.

Not every woman who appreciates the show/movie is a Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, or Samantha.

Sometimes they're a Jen.

Comments

[ali]

I'm a whore so I'm a Samantha

;)

[Gina]

I was actually turned onto this show by a friend of mine telling me that I was "sooo samantha!" Then after watching the show, I realized they could have taken that character from my life! By the way, she is not a whore...she just likes sex and doesn't want to be stuck in a relationship to get it. I see nothing wrong with using men for sex. I thought that is what were for anyway.

I am Samantha and I am proud of it! And I think I have twice as many "toys" as Samantha!

Can't wait to see you in Denver!!!

[garin]

I think the beauty of seeing yourself in one of those characters is that you see some things that you want to be (a solid friend, creative, hopeful, and yes bitchy when necessary) but you also see who you don't want to be (slutty {all of the time}, desperate, struggleing, regretful...).But having gone down the road of getting way too deep - who doesn't like the shoes, the endless number of cute men to look at and the hot sex?

[heidi]

I used to associate myself as being a carrie, then i stopped contemplating my relationships every second of every day, stopped having dysfunctional relationships and started living. Then i got into a more "charlotte"-esque relationship and you know what? Based on your description...i'm totally a jen. Give me a bottle of wine, some tivo'ed shows, my darling puppy on the couch next to boyfriend over a cosmo and 4" heels any day.

[kendallini]

why are so many of the full frontal shoots of Miranda....

[Melody]

I can't stand that "which character are you?" I was thinking about it the other day in light of having a SATC party and every guest saying how much I remind them of Charlotte... the reason we love the show is that the characters are hyperbolic representations of pieces that live inside everyone - imho. I remember when people went through a phase of pigeoning themselves to Real World characters, Friends characters, and on and on, too. Nope, you are you!

[Anna]

I did see the movie on opening night. I went with one of my best friends, and I promise that NEITHER of us is 20. But, honestly, the crowd was mostly women just like us who cried in the appropriate places and loved the movie completely. I could count the number of men on one hand, and each of them looked like they lost a bet...hence the reason they were there. I would agree that none of my friends, nor I fit into any certain character, but I would agree that there is a little bit of Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha in each of us. Loved the show! Haven't read the books, but since I just finished SAPF, I have time to read them.

[Alison Driscoll]

Here's a link to an interesting article on why everyone feels the need to pigeonhole themselves/each other into a SATC character: http://www.copyblogger.com/sex-and-the-city/. Basically, the 4 of them are the equivalent of the 4 basic personality types.

And I've definitely heard people call each other Samantha. But you're right, it was not meant as a compliment.

Looking forward to seeing you in Boston, so glad you convinced you people to let you do Massachusetts! See you in a few weeks!

[Lindsay]

I got into SATC while I was abroad. I'd watched in on American soil first, and found it melo-dramatic and ridiculous. (Does Samantha always have to talk in that husky voice?)

But it's weird; as soon as I was away from home, I saw the show on DVD and couldn't turn it off. My fellow Americans and I watched episode after episode, we even sang to the theme song.

So, what on earth does this mean? I can't make heads or tails of it. All I know is that now I'm begging someone, (anyone), to go see the movie with me and all my girlfriends are looking at me like I'm nuts. Can shallow, ridiculous TV gain depth after an American has been away long enough? I'm scared this might be the case.

[Muffy Willowbrook]

Just finished reading SAPF!

Loved it! I imagine you write just as you talk and it's hilarious!

Congrats on your success!

[DGs World By Big D]

Argh! THANK. YOU. Well said!
I saw SATC this weekend with a girlfriend of mine (after margaritas and mexican food - yum) and it was the first time I've ever seen the show/movie/franchise/whatever. I don't have HBO, so I'd never been involved with SATC. Loved the fashion, the fun, the drinks and hijinks, but I hated hated hated how the entire pursuit of the movie was landing Carrie her man. Jesus. Aren't we beyond that? Go Samantha! She chose herself. But, um, yeah, she's a ho.

[Christine]

Fabulous post! We here in Philly are waiting for the movie...the one about fighting w neighbors and shopping at Target. Hint Hint.

[Jaye]

ROCK ON!! (Wow, haven't said that in about a decade!!!) I'm a Jen (literally and figuratively)!
I am a little bit Charlotte, Miranda, Carried AND there are times when I am even a little Samantha - call me a whore - I am happily married.

Excellent post!

[Holly]

I couldn't agree with you more, and I must also add that your blog and books have brought more joy and humor to my life than, frankly, I thought would be possible after the last five years. To keep it short, in one day my world turned upside down when I collapsed with a disease similar to MS. I found it hard to find joy in much of anything. Thanks to you I now laugh and find the silver lining in things I formerly took for granted. I may not be able to teach English anymore, but I do know that there are other possibilities for my life. Again thanks!! Your writing is hilarious, and I have enjoyed every word of it!

[annie]

Thanks for the "Because he knows he'll be fucking lucky to have me." I really needed the slight adjustment in how I was thinking about whether or not the phone would ring.

[Michaela]

I'd gladly be a Jen any day of the week. :)

[Tamara]

So, on Friday a DJ on the radio was talking about a quiz which identifies which of the four SATC ladies you are most like. I'm with you Jen; we can't all be described by these four characters. And after reading your post, I realized just how ANNOYING that question of 'which one are you' is.

[annette]

I'm so Carrie..........except i'm missing a few dozen pair of manolas

[Karina in T.O]

As much as it pains me to say.....I'm a bit of a prude (with a potty mouth)...so perhaps I'm a Jen/Charlotte hybrid??

And the fact that I just so deeply love New York so much, means that all SATC shows have always been a little bit of juice in my own version of a crake pipe. I'm more than willing to bawl if you stick some sappy music with a landscape scene...

And I'm not insane enough to see the flick on opening night either, but me and my gals did hit a pub have some cosmos and see the flick on day 2. And you know what? Despite all the product placements, 4 out of 5 did shed a tear, me more than once.

As fantasy driven as the entire franchise is, we've all had some of those experiences!

[Manic Mommy]

OOh, I want more scoop on the celebs who are assholes!!!! Gimme gimme gimme!!!

I ALWAYS ask that question anytime I get into a taxi--"So, who's the most famous person you've ever driven?" But sadly, cuz I only usually get into taxis in Chicago, I only get the random basketball player or something unexciting like that for scoop.

[Tennessee]

Just want to know - did you get caught in bad weather in Indianapolis? Are you Such a Pretty Wet Fat now? Love ya! Wanna be ya!

[Tiffany]

word.

and "I don't really want to see a movie about fighting with neighbors and shopping at Target."

..... I DO!!!!

[shanda]

Love it

[melissa]

hey... i always thought i was a healthy combination of Carrie and Samantha. I'll admit it... i love men! So what... sue me. Haven't seen the movie yet; going this Saturday with a bunch of girlfriends. I hope its worth it!

[Louann]

I believe there should be more Jens in the world. We'd all laugh a lot more and have more fun. Not to mention wear pearls everywhere! Much more chic and cool than $400 shoes.

And the next question is: who would you cast as yourself if SAPF is made into a movie? :-D

[cammie]

That pretty much says everything I've wanted to say about SATC for
the past six years. Thank you, Jen!

[TheBabblingHousewife]

Your forgot they sit home eating with their new silverware...

I didn't watch the show much because, well, we were too cheap to spring for HBO or whatever it was on...but the few I saw almost makes me want to see the movie.

And Rachel Ray...her cookware is ugly, too. No one but an obsessive Florida or Auburn fan would be interested in it.

[Jules]

I apologize if anyone has posted this already as I haven't read the comments, but there is a quiz you can take to see what character you are like:
http://quiz.ivillage.com/astrology/tests/sexandthecity.htm

Good luck! I am 40% Carrie, 30% Charlotte, and 20% Miranda

[Jules]

The movie was great - it was like not seeing friends for a few years, and catching up with them and even though the years had passed, you remember why you loved them so much. I laughed and cried... BUT the reason for my post is I would have loved to see you in Boston but I have impossible-to-get Red Sox tickets that night - so sorry I will miss you but I recommend eating at Stephanie's on Newbury ("Upscale comfort food" and the BEST people watching!)

[ChattiPatti]

Sooooooo glad to know that SATC (I'm getting bit tired of all the initials mostly because I can't remember what the letters stand for) is a fairy tale. Those of us with dreary lives need escapism and you can't seem to write fast enough for my taste.
Please finish the book tour-damn you are not coming anywhere near me- and get back in those monkey jammies and write!!

A Jen and proud!

[Laura]

(To quote your writing style...)Because this? Is why you're bookmarked. Thank you.

[Molly]

Now I feel like a total nerd. I have not seen Sex In The City once! (Not even for a total of thirty seven seconds!) I still love Jen.
I worked a wine even last night and all the chicks who had gone to the movie came in afterwards...they seemed nice, not like bitches so who would they be?!
(It was fun though...do you want wine or are you doing Sex tonight?!)

[Vee-Elle-Emme]

I saw the movie yesterday and for me, it was like a good booty call - I was happy to come over late, stay for a couple of hours, get (see) some good sex, then go home, but I won't be seeing it again anytime soon. :)

[Ev]

And sometimes there's just an Ev that finished your Such a Pretty Fat book last night. Awesome! Loved it. Seriously laughed out loud. I was on the deck watching the kids jump on the trampoline and got to page 315 when the burly, tattooed, leather-clad biker-type with the emotional baker as a roommate starts talking and you accidentally bark out laughing.....I also barked out laughing. The kids looked over like I was a freak. I just looked at them and said 'It's a funny book'. My two-year old didn't get it. Thanks for the laughs. Can't wait to read your next book. PS. I love Barbie and I want her to kick my ass!

Yours truly, Ev (from Yellowknife, Canada)

[Beauty411]

Thanks for giving voice to what many of us feel. Although SATC is fun eye candy--the dresses, handbags, etc., who really lives like that? I'm proud to be a 'Jen' girl!

[Spyder]

you can also add the lady that does all the babbling on the voice mails...

"If you would like to leave a message, please stay on the line or press 1 now..."

I thought it was a joke at first. Pffft... (super ultra mega eyeroll)

I don't leave messages because of her, I just can't make it all the way through her schpeal. ...and you can't delete her.

She can't be stopped, she can't be reasoned with.

Rachael Ray should do that voice over!!! LOL!!

[Stefanie]

Hey Jen went to the movie last night with friends 7 of us loved the movie, I'm one of them and one absolutly hated it!! Funny thing is she referred to it as unrealistic...isn't that the point? So I say as a little of all the girls in my personality it rocked! It was great to see four of my old friends one more time. And I still LOVE Big not matter what shitty stuff he pulls.

[Spyder]

Oooooo... I just thought of another one...

That old ass guy whose schtick is playing a baby... Ummm.... He did it on Mork & Mindy..

Dang... !! JONATHON WINTERS!!! LMAO!!

That's him!! That one trick pony needs to learn some more tricks.

[Spyder]

How did this turn into Rachael Ray forum? ...dang. I admit I can't stand her, but I have an ongoing list of people I can't stand. ...here comes a partial list now...

1) Oprah (she can shove that peace, love and spirit up her arse)
2) Tyra (doesn't she know it's all about Jen?)
3) Carol Channing (lamb chop)
4) Rip Taylor (milking the confeti dry)
5) Colin Quin (the following is a list of things I've found funny from this man)
a.
...end of list.
6) Eric & Kathy (Chicago morning radio hosts who make EVERYTHING a call in bit)
7) Don Rickles (he should just shut up)
8) Janice Dickinson (she should just shut up)
9) Wilfred Brimley (know it all jerk)
10) Clay Aiken (androdgenous, pompus prick)

My list goes WAY on, but I'd like to hear other peoples' lists.

...and I KNOW everyone has this list.

[Rph mommy]

That warms my heart to hear that about Rachael Ray. I knew it. 30 Minute Meals my ass.

[That Rude Girl]

Jen, I'm finally "delurking" to say I love your books, love your blog, love everything preppy, and yes, also hate that annoying Rachael Ray. (Really laughed over that in your second book).

I'm going to see SATC this afternoon, but I completely agree with what you're saying: SATC is nothing more than fiction; it's nothing at all like real life in the city. I can't stand when women try to imitate Carrie & Co. by going broke buying Manolos or drinking martinis just because that's what they've seen on SATC.

Looking forward to meeting you when you come to Minnesota!

[Spyder]

I'll NEVER understand the people who go see a movie the day it comes out. It's going to be packed. Me, personally, I can't stand to be that close to a theater full of sneezing, coughing, child beating, talking during the movie, crunching popcorn in my ear people. I can't imagine someone wanting to be in the middle of that, won't it be playing all week??? When I see a super ultra mega long line for something stupid, I want to ask the last person in that line what they're thinking.

Pffft. ...cattle. (eyeroll)

[Wendylicious]

I've always said that if I was one of them, I'd be Samantha.

[Jen]

I haven't read all your posts, but I hope I'm not the only one who has never seen the show and who gets upset with every comment in the press stating that "every woman in America will see it" and who REALLY hates Entertainment Weekly for wasting a WHOLE issue on it. My question to EW is... Will the X-Files movie get the same treatment when it comes out? But I do regret that I could not make it to Indy for your book signing due to some very nasty weather in my area! Sorry!

[Tina]

You got it perfectly! Although I do wish I had had your self-confidence back when it would have mattered. Now that I'm married and in my thirties and have it in spades, it sometimes doesn't matter all that much. +Sigh...that's how it goes. But Rachael Ray, a bitch? That saddens me. I've been choosing to think that all those people who have said similiar things were just haters. But I know you're not like that.
Because hey..you ARE a Jen and even though I've only ever read your books, I really trust you for some reason

[EGE]

Oh, honey. Me? I was Samantha. Until I met my Smith, who made me (gag) hold hands with him in public.

We're married now.

Gag GAG!

[Morgan]

Hell Yeah!!
Love SATC, but am a combo of all. And I love sitting at home drinking a box-o-wine with my husband, manic dog, and three-legged-ever-puking-cat in the next room. It is not the be all end all of what women are.

[marcelle]

Sean Pennn is a totally nice guy! When I was a waitress years ago I had to tell him that there was no smoking allowed in the restaurant I worked and he was not only gracious about not smoking cigs he was funny 'but can smoke crack?' NOTE: He was clearly KIDDING and not ASKING!

SJP...she came in once...neither nice nor rude...very well dressed.

[amyinbc]

Thanks for the review.. Never really watched the show until it was on DVD and then only once in awhile.

Do remember thinking SJP was so beautiful way back in the 80's with that mane of hair and normal (to big) sized nose. Made me feel good about myself :)

[AJMick]

For years I've been told I physically resemble Samantha/Kim (like the chick in the bathroom at Tarpon Bend in Fort Lauderdale who shouted at the top of her lungs "OMG, you look JUST LIKE Samantha from SATC")but that doesn't mean I behave like Sam. I prefer to think I have a bit of each of them in me with a strong serving of myself. Nuthin' wrong with that. And? Kim Cattrall is pretty effin' hot, ya' know? Not insulted at all.