Opening Day!

The most frequent question I got while out on tour was what I thought about the new Sex and the City movie.  I guess when you start your second book with the opening line, "Carrie Bradshaw is a fucking liar," people tend to think you have a problem with the SATC franchise. 

Untrue.

I worship Candace Bushnell.  I loved the book first and then the show, and I've adored Sarah Jessica Parker since her Square Pegs days. 

(However, I'm slightly less enamored with SJP now because I heard a true story about her being rude to someone I know and it makes me mad.) 

(Also, here's some advice if you ever plan on being rich/famous/in the tabloids - BE NICE TO THE GUY DRIVING YOU.  I learned over the past few weeks of getting rides to book events that limo drivers are the new Page Six and all it takes for them to spill the dirt is sliding into their backseat wearing a conservative sundress and pearls and asking, "So, which famous people are assholes?")

(And I swear I'm not making this up, but want to guess who's universally hated?  Yep, that's night.  Rachael Ray.  Like we didn't see that coming.  And Sean Penn is super nice - I actually didn't see that coming - but apparently you can't ask him not to smoke in the car.  It's like asking him not to breathe.)

Asides aside, my one regret is that I have an event tonight and I can't get together with girlfriends, swill a bunch of cocktails, and see the movie on opening day.  Here's the thing - I can love the writing and appreciate the acting and enjoy the styling even though the reality depicted in SATC is nothing like most of our own real lives in the city.  The movie is a fantasy.  But that's just fine.  I don't really want to see a movie about fighting with neighbors and shopping at Target.  Escapism suits me nicely.

However, since the show came out and whenever groups of girls gather together, the discussion inevitably becomes, "Which character are you?"  Everyone's all, "Oh!  I'm a Charlotte because I'm a good girl!" or "I'm an attorney so I am all about Miranda!" or "I'm a Carrie because I write!"  (No one ever says, "I'm a whore so I'm a Samantha," BTW.) 

This is the part that bothers me.  I hate seeing women trying to pigeonhole themselves into one of those roles. 

Because you know what? 

There are plenty of gals out there who have healthy self-esteem and solid relationships and they don't spend all their money on $400 Manolos and waste all their energy fixating on whether or not he's going to call.  Rather, they're of the mindset that, "Of course he'll call.  Why?  Because he knows he'll be fucking lucky to have me."

These women don't trawl the town every night.  Rather, they enjoy sitting at home alone or with their partner, watching reality TV in their pajamas and good jewelry, and drinking wine.

Not every woman who appreciates the show/movie is a Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, or Samantha.

Sometimes they're a Jen.

Comments

[Tracy]

I've also heard from VERY reliable sources that SJP is a bee-yotch. Too bad.

And yes, I'm 100% a Jen. And happy to be one... We Jens rock.

[Amandangerous!]

I have had a cocktail, so this might not be legible, and I am CERTAINLY not the first (the Eighty First, to be exact). I LOVE YOU.

1) Who DOESN'T Fucking hate Rachael Ray. I do not even CARE how her name is spelled or if I got it right. Damn her for making my husband like the snacks I make.
2) Target+Me=Overspending. However, I live in STUPID small town, so it is almost worse, I think. Going to target is like going to mecca. Although, I used to live in a place w/Ikea. I never got to go because my husband forbade me! (Not that I actually obey *even though I said obey in the vows, apparently*) but when we were living there, I wasnt working.)
Wow, a fucking novel of a post.

Anyway, well done. You make me want to be you.

[Crystal]

Okay, I totally agree with everything you said, but I just want to go on record stating that I AM TOTALLY SAMANTHA! And you know what? I'm totally okay with it too. In fact, I think her character is exactly the reason I am comfortable enough to say things like "yeah, so sometimes I think like a man and sometimes I wanna date or hook up like a man". Also, my most beloved quote from her: I don't believe in the Republican Party; I don't believe in the Democratic Party; I just believe in parties!

BTW...was attempting to squeeze in your reading in Oakland as I was visiting my parents and it didn't work out, so I'm super stoaked that you're coming to MN!!

[Fe]

Absolutely I'm a Jen.
Rock on!

[Karen]

OMG.... My sentiments exactly! You are soooo wise! xoxo

"Of course he'll call. Why? Because he knows he'll be fucking lucky to have me."

[Sheri]

I abosu "fuckin" lutely agree with you Jenn, however my girlfriends and I are were first in line today at 10 am to see the movie. WE LOVED IT...if only for 2 and half hours it's wonderful to escape to the land of la la. It put me in a wonderful mood all day. I work in NYC and I can tell you those girls dont really exsist but a little make believe never hurt anyone!!

[Lise J. Turner]

Love love love the show. Always have. I watch it a couple times a year for background noise. But, I also have learned to hate the show a little...actually wrote a term paper in college about the post-feminist qualities displayed by the characters (ie...what a load of absolute boo hockey we see on TV). But, I cannot help myself!

[teachergirl]

I can see Sarah Jessica being rude and Rachael Ray is just fingernails on a chalkboard. Always be nice to those who can talk about you later...and I'd read that book about Target. Some crazy stuff goes on in the Target.

[Krin]

Jen,
2 things for you...
1) You are not going to Denver, you are going to HIGHLANDS FUCKING RANCH! Talk about GROSS Suburbs. It is the Lincoln Park with less interesting upper-middle class people, of Denver... Soccer mom's a go-go. AKA Not Denver. BUT we are still making the 45 minute trek to see you, why???? WE LOVE YOU!!!
2) If you want to visit the busiest Super Target and third busiest Target in the nation, hit the one in Glendale... It is a beauty, and they sell wine...
We cannot wait to see you!

[Pat Virgili]

Jen, I met Rachel Ray at a book signing and she was so RUDE....not the bubbly, happy gal on TV....for this I will NEVER watch her, buy a book or her mag...she was truly ugly to someone who asked her a question as she was sitting down...the look she gave her would KILL....not nice honey....AND for the record...my Husband and I were on Trading Spaces in 2001 and Pagie Davis....NOT NICE...at all...never spoke to us unless she was on camera...WTF???? Love you Jen...read All your books....buy them as gifts...ok, Pat, put down the "Black russian"...my drink of choice on Friday nights...what????

[Rebecca]

Oh dude I am TOTALLY a JEN! But a Rebecca. I think each character on SATC (cool kids call it that) is a fraction of most women's presonality.

[Michelle]

All I want is BIG. And yes, I'm in PR. So . . . put those two together. I'm telling you . . . that guy makes me melt. P.S. Don't tell my husband.

[jenn]

It makes me unspeakably happy that Rachael Ray is a bitch.

[Bella]

I think I'd love to be a "Jen!" After reading SAPF, I think I may be a Jen, actually. I related to everything you wrote about wayyyyy too much. :)

I'm looking forward to the Sex and the City party my friends and I have planned for next Friday (we're going to let the crowds die down a bit in the theatres before we go). But I do have to admit that I just downloaded the soundtrack to the movie from iTunes 5 minutes ago. Maybe I have a problem?

[Bella]

I think I'd love to be a "Jen!" After reading SAPF, I think I may be a Jen, actually. I related to everything you wrote about wayyyyy too much. :)

I'm looking forward to the Sex and the City party my friends and I have planned for next Friday (we're going to let the crowds die down a bit in the theatres before we go). But I do have to admit that I just downloaded the soundtrack to the movie from iTunes 5 minutes ago. Maybe I have a problem?

[Bella]

I think I'd love to be a "Jen!" After reading SAPF, I think I may be a Jen, actually. I related to everything you wrote about wayyyyy too much. :)

I'm looking forward to the Sex and the City party my friends and I have planned for next Friday (we're going to let the crowds die down a bit in the theatres before we go). But I do have to admit that I just downloaded the soundtrack to the movie from iTunes 5 minutes ago. Maybe I have a problem?

[Bella]

I think I'd love to be a "Jen!" After reading SAPF, I think I may be a Jen, actually. I related to everything you wrote about wayyyyy too much. :)

I'm looking forward to the Sex and the City party my friends and I have planned for next Friday (we're going to let the crowds die down a bit in the theatres before we go). But I do have to admit that I just downloaded the soundtrack to the movie from iTunes 5 minutes ago. Maybe I have a problem?

[Andrea]

I agree about the SATC part- that lifestyle is a fantasy and unless you have the resources to live it out, it's not even worth TRYING!

I am going to see it tomorrow- cannot wait!

[Carrie]

I definitely adore the SATC women - but at the same time knowing they are like a cliche of themselves. I think I just love them because of their friendships with eachother . . . which we can all relate to in one way or another.

But, totally, I'm more of a "Jen" myself - sprinkled with a wee bit of Charlotte (because I'm guillable and optimistic) and Carrie (because I think I can write) and Samantha (because I have a dirty mind) and Miranda (because I'm a mom).

Yeah - like you said.

[Miss M]

I am a fucking Jen! I even have my own reality television blog - Reality TV Whores! You can check it out at www.realitytvwhores.blogspot.com. I am working my way up to 25k hits an hour!

That being said, I am wearing my pearls and Tory Burch's to see the SATC movie tonight with 10 girlfriends! We bought tickets ahead of time to Muvico in Rosemont, IL (and yes I live in Bucktown). BTW- where can you buy Manolo's for only $400- that is a serious steal!

Love you Jen!

[Amie]

I find myself generally annoyed with Rachel Ray whenever I come across one of her cooking shows. I should try to be more patient with her. Someday she may fully evolve.

[Lauren]

Weirdly enough, I DO parallel Miranda quite a bit (I have a law degree, a tough-yet-tender personality, a similar haircut to what she had in the last season, and an on-again, off-again "Steve"--but no baby, thank God). That said, I totally see your point--my best friend once said that he hated how people would say "I'm a Carrie!" or whatever because each of the characters has relatable qualities, and you might be able to identify with all of them at some point.

I am super-duper excited about tonight--me, two other ladies, and one gay guy swilling cocktails and having dinner at P.F. Chang's, then heading to River East! Woohoo!

Jen, have fun at your event tonight! Target rocks!

[Stefanie]

I'm not so sure I wouldn't enjoy a movie about people who go to Target and get their brows waxed every so often. As long as they were amusing while they were doing it. But I agree with your post. Also, I do the exact same thing when being driven in a limo (read: towncar). I too immediately ask "who's an asshole?" and guess what I got: John Travolta. I got a crazy long story about him and his "no eye contact" and he didn't even tip!

But, also, weirdly enough (if you know me) I drove a limo for 6 weeks. Chevy Chase (super nice)- Lolita Davidovitch (total cooze).

[TUWABVB]

Sometime told me that they read an article where Kim Cattrell said that the all of the characters together are supposed to be one woman - each character is a different aspect of one's personality. So, I guess, we all have an inner whore.

That being said, my outer is all "Jen." I'm too old to stand in heels all night and I'll be damned if I'm going to walk home at the end of said night swiging my purse and musing about how wonderful my life is. I'll be more hobbling home with blisters on my feet wondering what my address is.

It's just safer to stay on the sofa! :)

[morganzmom]

Amen, Jen...agree with your post totally and I'm def more of a "Jen" with my pearls and my almost daily trips to Target than I'll ever be like the SATC gals with their Manolos (hey, I live in a small town...I doubt that anyone here even *KNOWS* what they are, so why waste the cash!!). I don't like the stereotyping either, but the show was (and the movie will be) a great escape from the responsibilities of real life. And I'm waiting till next weekend to see it with some of my gay guy friends, b/c my hubby would rather eat sand than go see it :)

[sarah]

I have been trying to articulate this for years but have never been able to get the point across! Thank you!

[Veroncia]

Ever since Saturday Night Live did that skit/short about the bad puns in the SatC writing, that is all I can hear when I watch the show. Surprisingly enough, it hasn't ruined it for me. Instead it adds additional layer of entertainment. I am silently snarking the show at the exact moment I am enjoying it for what it was originally intended to be...escape.

[kristin]

I think what I loved most about the show (and hopefully in the movie, too) is the idea of awesome friendships.

Because in the end, that's what it's all about, right?

(and it's killing me that I'm not going to see the movie this week, but I'm waiting a few weeks until I can see it with one of my dearest friends, who was my SATC confidante. I wouldn't want to see it with anyone else!)

[Kelly]

Amen Sister.

And you know what? If he doesn't call, it's his loss anyway :) And if he takes too damn long to call I'll be busy when he wants to go out. Hello...I have a life. And you're not the center of it. Because I? Am FABULOUS :D

[Kristina]

Hell yeah! I'd rather be a Jen any day (that is of course if I wasn't a Kristina!)

[ReginaPhalange]

I can't wait to meet you tonight at the signing in Indy! Sorry we are keeping you from SITC...but ditto on the offers to have you come along to see it...there is a theater right across from the bookstore. How cool would it be for Jen Lancaster and a huge crowd of her groupies to fill up the theater for Sex in the City!! Ok, so I guess it would be cool for all of us, for you it would just be like hanging out with a bunch of stalkers tracing your every move on your website and through your books!!

[Beckie]

Word up homie! I'm too chubby to be any of them - but hot dam I look good with my chub!

[Karen Mc in Dallas]

I'm with you, Jen. I never would have even thought of comparing myself with one of the SATC gals. To me, it's just good 'ole escapism. However, there are plenty of gals around here where I live in Uptown that at least act and look just like Samantha.......

[Jenn]

I love SATC because it is NO WHERE near reality. Goodness, if Carrie was my friend, I would secretly cut the heels off all her shoes. She's annoying! (But I love me some Charlotte and Miranda. Oh, and Harry, too!). I think my love of the show has more to do with the writers than the actresses. The dialog is creatively snarky, story lines stretched but with a hint of truth, and has managed to bring all sorts of women together. I am going to see the movie and do a pre-movie happy hour with total strangers and I can't wait!! NOW, I get the geeky Star Wars stuff makes sense.

[Jennifer]

I have heard mind-blowingly terrible things about Rachel Ray from a friend who worked with her at the Food Network, so I'm not surprised she's universally reviled gorgon.

[Laurie]

I completely agree with your post except for the one part..... if you ask my friends Tiffany she will proudly proclaim she is Samantha! and still I love her!

[Megan]

You know who else is the new Page 6- servers. Check out stainedapron.com and bitterwaitress.com. They have tons of stories about who's nice and who's an ass. I waitress on weekends and have a few stories of my own.

[Bridget Foster]

You go girl! And sometimes they are a Bridget or a Deb or a Carmi or an Ileana or.... Of course there are only two types of men- worthy or pointless.

[Kristi]

I am SO there tonight...with my girls...wouldn't miss it! The SATC girls are the personification of all that is wonderful about being a woman. We all have a little Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha in us. The characters were exaggerated for the entertainment factor...much like the wives from Big Love. Women are special that way...we can be creative, career-minded, loving and enjoy sex, too! :)

[Melanie]

I'm so excited you're going to be in Indy that I'm forgoing the SATC movie tonight too! I'd rather wait until Sunday when it's (hopefully!) not as busy anyway.

[Christi]

Am I the only person in the world who didn't like this show? I watched it and didn't like it. I am not humor impaired...obviously- I love Jen Lancaster. I wonder what the deal is?

[Pinkbunnieslippers]

Miranda. Charlotte. Carrie. Samantha.
Pffft.
A long time ago I realized I was a "Rhoda" and am ok with being the sarcastic-curvy-artistic-funny-butprettysensitiveontheinside girl type.

[kirsten]

I'm a Carrie.

and I would wear a tutu in real life. with a fabulous tank and killer heels of course!!

[JenBun]

I'm totally a Jen! (and that's not just because that's my name too!)

I think you should write a dating advice book. I realize that may sound silly, seeing as you and Fletch have been together forever and you are married, but I think you would have REALLY good advice for all the single gals out there!

[Melissa]

And the choir sang AMEN!!!

I would much rather be a Jen than the SATC girls. ANY. DAY.

And seeing as how Jen and I are new BFF's, I mean, she wrote it in my book and everything plus I made her throw up in Dallas with my cupcake, her "Jenn-ness" should rub off on me.

Jen, if they ever make a movie about you, we will be asking all our friends if they're a Jen :)

[elise]

Now THAT, I love.

[Julie Dawson]

OH! Don't regret that you can't get together with girlfriends because you have an event tonight. You're coming to see ME! :) OK, not just me, but I'll be there to see you, instead of going to Opening Night (which I am doing tomorrow). I have been looking forward to tonight and tomorrow for a long time!! See you soon!

[Anne]

I'm SO a Jen :)

[Carrie]

Wow, very well said and I couldn't agree more! One more reason why I totally heart you! :)

[April]

I love it. Great post. I'm cracking up at the thought of someone saying "I'm a whore, so I'm Samantha."