Such A Pretty Who?

This morning, I imagine thousands of intellectuals are opening The Paper of Record to peruse the book review section, as they do every Sunday.  I can picture them sipping gourmet coffee in their well-appointed living rooms, scanning the best seller pages and nodding in tacit agreement as they recall why they loved each of the listed books so much.

"Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love is a spiritual awakening!" 

"Grogan's Marley and Me is just heartbreakingly uplifting!"

"The Audacity of Hope by the future President Obama - what an inspiration!"

"The God Delusion - that Dawkins is so thought-provoking!"

"McCullough's John Adams proves what a visionary he was, while still being human and accessible!"

"Walls is very brave to share her story in The Glass Castle!"

Then they get to the book making its debut at number twenty on the list.

"Such A Pretty... um, wait a second... who the hell is Jen Lancaster?"

For those who've never heard of me, I'm a fat chick with high self esteem who wrote a book about being a fat chick with high self-esteem.  The book ends with me being slightly less fat and slightly more healthy (with the same amount of self-esteem.)

And no, I don't build schools in rural Afghanistan or leave behind the shackles of man to live in the wilderness, nor do I offer an intricate study of social epidemics or describe the experience of dying and crossing over to the other side.

But I do write about accidentally getting high on Ambien and ordering a Barbie head on the internet. 

So there's that.

"Frankly, we're as surprised about all of this as you are."

Comments

[Tiffany]

HAHAHAHA. I was SO waiting for the photo of the barbie head!

[Tiffany]

HAHAHAHA. I was SO waiting for the photo of the barbie head!

[Catherine]

You are so funny! I loved the book! Thank you for NOT being a size 0 at the end of it. You are so refreshing!

[Courtney]

I just finished reading your book and I loved it!!! Especially the whole quad stuff oreos. I DO THAT ALL THE TIME! And everyone thinks it's gross. I think it's absolutely the best thing ever.

[Caribbeansue]

Just bought the May 26th People and found you in it - yeah!! Congrats on all the success, it is well deserved. Loved SAPF and my ass has now gotten back on the treadmill on a regular basis - thanks for the motivation!

[Natalea]

Jen, you are my new idol! I've read all 3 of your books this month and thank God you have this blog or I was going to go through withdrawl. You make my day! And I have to tell you- when I read the part in Pretty where you end with the "what the F*ck is Jabba the hut doing in my house...." part, I laughed my ass right off the couch and smacked the hardwood! I had to call my friend and read the whole chapter to her because I bought her a copy and hadn't given it to her yet! You rule Jen. Thank you for many hours of stomach-toning laughter.

[Karina in T.O]

Can I get a 'woot, woot'!! Just checked the NYT best seller list again today, and you my dear at at a tight number 14! With the Roger Maris * next to your name actually....which apparently means (direct quote here) An asterisk (*) indicates that a book’s sales are barely distinguishable from those of the book above.

Barely distinguishable, you say? Giddie up! So thats a virtual tie for 13th spot. SWEET! Have you been rubbing this in your bros nose yet or what? If he was my brother I'd be like "NYTimes best selling author, biatch, you better step off! ;)

[Diane]

I ate up every bit of Such a Pretty Fat (no pun intended!). Loved, loved, loved it! All three of your books are the very funniest (love the footnotes), and I just can't wait for book number 4 to come out! What will it be on? Perhaps a chaotic move to the suburbs, complete with the new neighbors? Possibly adopting triplets (I can just envision you and Fletch right now changing the diapers!) Or maybe a vacation that does not go quite as planned? Oh well, just know that whatever the topic, I will be right there to purchase it on the day of its release. Great job - you are superb!

[Arin]

What can I say? YOU ROCK, JEN!!!! I just got my copy of SAPF a few days ago and I'm almost finished reading it. I went home for lunch to read some more because I forgot to bring it to work with me. (I secretly read books at work when my supervisor isn't here hanging over my shoulder.) My two cats were giving me the stink eye as I was LMAO at your book. It is sheer genius!!!!!!!!! Congrats on all your success and THANKS SO MUCH for all the laughs and good times you have shared with the world! I can't wait for your next adventure to be published!!!!! LYLAS!!!! Arin in West Virginia

[Robin]

OMG! You have made it girl! Just saw you in People Mag!!!!!!! So excited for you!

[The Googler]

I'm almost done with Such a Pretty Fat and I love it! (That's no surprise!) I especially love the part where you make Fletch ask you where Djibouti is :)

[Wendy]

Hi Jen,
Congratulations!!! Miss you already now that I have finished SAPF and can't wait for more...thanks for the COSI shout out, too. (My hubby is the DM for the PA suburbs) You always make me laugh and these days we all need someone who can do that. You deserve all of your success!

[stephani]

To hell with all that save the world and let's all get along crap. I like your view of the world much better...it's more like mine! Love your work, have all 3...each one better than the last! Keep up the great work! And, trust me, I have done the same under the influence of Ambien(except it was shoes, not Barbie heads). Could be worse.

[Greta/Does This Blog Make Us Look Fat]

Holy canoles! Way to go!

Also...ambien = good. Barbies = way good.

:D

[A Jill of All Trades]

Just finished SAPF....LOVED it!!

Discovered that we have even more in common...even if it is love for Uncle Buck!!

[Louann]

Your books are like the Harry Potter series to me. I hate to see them end. Thanks for giving me some great reading and belly laughs!!!

[nor cal lady]

hi jen. saw you in oakland, and you are just as breezy and hilarious as i ever imagined :) could not work up the nerve to comment in person, so here goes: thank you for including that brief bit in SAPF about being in a fight with your mother (and how most of your g-friends also get into big dramas with they mamas). i am 33, and my mom broke up with me 6 months ago. point being, that was so validating. thanks...um, and also, please consider visiting sacramento.

[Kelly]

What's all this about "Pretty in Plaid??" Did I miss something?? New book????

P.S. CONGRATS! Totally climbing the list!!!

[Charlotte]

Something I thought you would enjoy. I took your book "Bitter is the New Black" with me on a flight to Florida to return it to my sister whom I had borrowed it from. When I picked up my checked luggage, the book was missing - however the wine that I had purchased in Napa was still there. It is official - your books are better than a fine wine.

[teachergirl]

Thanks for visiting Atlanta. I told you the shopping would be sweet. I just finished SAPF at the Memorial Day Pool Party and I was laughing outloud, reading all by myself and I liked it like that. I did get a few stares, but who cares?

Have a great tour. Boston's weather can be a bitch in June - pack accordingly.

[Marcia]

Cleveland!! Come to CLEVELAND!!!

[blackbird]

I'm not so surprised - sitting here drinking my gourmet coffee.
But I am THRILLED.

[carol]

It's been a while since I read your books and I am so HAPPY to see the latest installment!

By the way, check out this blog: http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/

I think YOU especially will identify with the Fug Girls and just plain enjoy the BITCHERY =)

Congrats on making the best seller lists!!!

[Danielle]

SAPF and YOU both deserve to be on the list, woman you are damn good at what you do. To the point that my dear husband recognizes the covers of your books when he is out and about and sees someone reading it.

Love the picture with the Barbie head, that part of the book almost made me spew wine all over the book as I read...what are the dogs doing in the background?

[Jadine]

But we love you!!!! You are so entertaining and loads better than any of them! You'd be #1 if I had any say. Come to Orange County, please please please!

PS Have you tried FitFlops?

[Suzanne]

Congratulations! I really enjoyed meeting you at your book signing! Can't wait to read the next one!

[erica]

Congrats, Jen! I'm absolutely thrilled for you - enjoy this moment!
I just finished the book last night, and I laughed my ass off. (Sadly, not literally.) Can't wait for the next one!

[jennzinatx]

Saw your pic in People this week! How amazing is it that you get to impact THIS many people simply by being you. Saw you in Austin and thought all of this could not happen to a better person. You are genuine, class, and humor personified; and I hope things only get better for you.

[laura]

Your books are the best!! So funny and inspirational to all! I heart you Jen Lancaster! Any one who was a fan of Veronica Mars is okay in my book:) Thanks for all your books and blog, please keep writing!

[Stefanie]

Hey Jen, I purchased the book the first day it came out but I'm holding out reading it since I know the aftermath of missing the fun. So I like others am saving it for a delicious rainy summer day where I can pass my kids off to their Dad and enjoy some me time! Thanks for the fun. PS I make my husband read them after b/c I have to read aloud everytime I cry laughing and usually he can't understand a word...so he reads it after me, then we chat! Good luck writting the next one!

[Karen Buscemi]

Congrats! Halfway through SAPF, and loving every minute of it. What the hell are you going to do for book no. 4? As Brian said to Peter on Family Guy: "If you're gonna pull a party out of your ass, you might wanna stand up." Good luck!

[Janine]

In the middle of Such a Pretty Fat and thinking I should put on some Depends...I'm laughing just as much as I did with your first two books. If you extend the book tour, PLEASE consider the Northshire Bookstore in Manchester, VT (it's the Powells of the East Coast!!!). If not - I'm jumping in the car and heading to BOSTON!! Thanks so much for keeping me giggling!

[Amily]

Congrats Jen! I stumbled across Bitter a few years ago in a random book store and I have been addicted ever since.

I just ordered my copy of Amazon to take with me to New York. I'm about to complete a 6-week publishing course at NYU, so I can be certified to market great books by amazing writers such as yourself.

I mentioned your books as some of my favorites in my entrance essay for my application (an exact quote " Lancaster is a sarcastic, fowl-mouthed, and openly honest writer." I don't know if NYU would take me if I said smart ass :-)

I owe you sincere thank you for helping me rediscover my love of reading, and decide what career I want to pursue. You rock Jen!!!

[Carolyn]

Congrats. You ROCK!

[Shannon]

Was great to meet you in Portland--I get to brag that I met another success coming out of Fort Wayne! ;) Asterisks notwithstanding, I am re-reading all three books this week...you managed to get out of Oregon in time to miss all the weird thunderstorms!

Continued best wishes and much success--can't wait for the next book, as I'm sure it will be most entertaining and enlightning!

[Amanda]

"by the future President Obama"

haha nice

[Melissa]

Congrats for the success with the book! Of course, I'm not surprised, having devoured each of your books in one sitting as soon as I bought them. Instant gratification anyone? :)

Yours was the first book signing I've ever attended (Round Rock, TX)...after getting addicted to your blog, and reading your books, I had to meet you in person...if for not other reason than to say thanks for making me laugh!

Good luck with the rest of the book tour...

[alix]

Hey Jen - just finished SAPF. Snap on your iPod playlist! Mine is almost identical - what's not to love about Vanilla Ice? You could probably up the ante a little by adding some Adam Ant! And was so happy to discover that someone else loves pink and green when I first read BINB - I'm more stripes than plaid myself but hey, vive la difference! When are you coming to Australia?

[Tracy]

Congats Jen!!! This is so very awesome and extremely well-deserved!! It was such fun pulling the Book Review Section out of The NY Times yesterday and there you were! Sooooo cooooool!

Number 20.... with a bullet!

[Tina]

Congratulations. That is quite an accomplishment, and I will always envy you for it. Your writing is so funny, actually, that I would certainly buy a book from you with absolutely no premise whatsoever. You're that flipping funny. Plus, very few women (if any) write about being overweight with even a little of the honesty you do. And like the poster above, the one weird thing about reading memoirs is that now I feel like you and I should BFF's FOREVER. Don't worry, though, I'm not a crazy stalker and I know we don't really know eachother. Your pop collared self rocks, JEN!

[steen]

So I finally picked up my copy (after bugging my husband for about a week now) and I'm almost done with it. I'm just a little bitter that there were no book signings in Florida but I suppose I'll live --- although I fully expect something for the next book.

The timing couldn't be better; my husband and I are both starting to hit the gym again, freshly motivated by my sudden and overwhelming desire for a Nike Plus kit for my iPod Nano. (Plus? He's footing the bill for our gym membership, woohoo!) So the book is entirely relevant to my life right now.

Anyway! I'm glad to hear the book is doing so well; whenever I finish one of your books, I get sad because it means I'll have to wait until the next one.

[Marty]

Congrats on making The List -- it's so well-deserved. You're an awesome writer and I can't wait till 'Pretty in Plaid' makes its debut.

Thanks to you and your inspiring story, this overweight ex-sorority chick (who also just hit the big 4-0) has gotten more inspired to get off the couch, keep hitting the gym and shed those extra pounds, since I saw you can do it...and your Superfantastic Treadmill Mix keeps me going!!

Keep cranking out the great memoirs and hope to meet you at a signing sometime soon!

[Paige]

I always wanted one of those growing up, but my mom never got me one :( Then I grew up and went to beauty school and had a million mannequins! I showed her!

[Pame]

I used to own that same barbie head...

[LJ]

CONGRATULATIONS! Loved every page. I'm ready to dive back into Bitter again now that I'm done. Want more! And congrats on your victory in the book. That Barbie (real life, not courtesy-of-Amazon version) brought out the best in you. Look forward to the next round!!

[Molly]

Bought SAPF Friday at Noon. Bought appropriate adult beverages on the way home Friday. Spent the next couple hours sitting in the sun on my deck trying not to shoot beer out my nose or laugh so loud that the neighbors wonder (again) what the hell I am up to. The book is awesome. Just read about Yoga and the UPS delivery man. Priceless!

[sizzle]

It's so exciting!

[Rachel]

I am so enjoying SAPF. You deserve that bestseller spot, girl. You really do. It was great seeing you in Philly.

[Karen]

So proud of you! I also enjoyed seeing your face in People magazine's book review section ( 3 1/2 stars! ) Congratulations!

[Malia]

Is it bad that I once had to wear the same earrings your Barbie head is wearing in one of my cousin's weddings?

And yes, the dress did come with a hat and butt bow, thanks for asking.