Great Weekends With Jen

I had a discussion with my friend yesterday about the book The Secret.  Rather, I had a disagreement. 

As a caveat, please note my friend is smart and funny and way more articulate than I'll ever hope to be.  So when she took the time to explain the gist of the book, I listened because I respect what she has to say.  She told me how The Secret is all about the power of sending out positive energy, being ready to accept and embrace good things in life, and believing in what's possible.

"So it's a book about wishing," I said.

"Well, if you want to break it down that way, sort of, but-" she began to reply.

I interrupted.  "Yeah, pretty sure that's horseshit."

She continued, "Think about this - how do you explain your success as a writer?  Didn't you put positive energy out there into the universe and-"

"No, I put nothing into the universe.  I worked really fucking hard.  I read every book I could get my hands on to figure out what I liked and disliked about the authors' styles and I tried to integrate what I saw to be all the best parts.  Then I got a hold of successful book proposals and followed those guidelines exactly when I put my own together.  Then I used every bit of knowledge I had about viral marketing to build community online.  And even when it looked like nothing was going to happen, I kept plowing forward.  There was no wishing involved."

"Why did you keep plowing forward?" she wanted to know.

I shrugged.  "Desperation?  Having no other choice but to find a way to make a living as a writer?"

"Did you believe in yourself?"

"I guess.  I wouldn't have been able to work that hard if I didn't have faith there would be a positive end result."

"Exactly!" she exclaimed.

I rolled my eyes.  "Pfft.  I'm still not buying it."  Then I thought about it for a minute.  "Or maybe I'm just salty because I didn't come up with the concept of The Secret myself?  But, whatever.  Good things only happen if you work hard to make them happen yourself."

Right?

Then again, if there is no fate, if everything is based on chance, and the power of positive energy doesn't cause magical stuff to happen once in a while, then how do I explain Deborah Lippman choosing to read my book while on vacation?  (BTW, she particularly liked the part where I wrote about hers being the best nail polish to ever exist.)

Colors from left to right, back to front:  Dark Side of the Moon, Believe (created with Cher!), Lady Is a Tramp, Don't Call Me Baby, Just Walk Away Renee (created with Renee Zellweger!), Baby Love, Icing on the Cake, and my new fave, Maneater.  (Soup Bible not included.)  Available at Nordstrom, Neimans, Bath and Body Works, and my kitchen.

And how do I explain my friend and I having this conversation in the first place... while sitting at a Cubs game, filming a segment for the Travel Channel with this charming host?

Yes, in fact Samantha Brown IS the cutest person on earth.

Is there a Secret? 

Maybe. 

But I'm going to get back to my manuscript now, just in case there's not.

Comments

[Vicky]

Never read the Secret, can't comment. However, i LOVE me some Samantha Brown, she is too cool and seeems so fun! When will the Chicago episode be on...can't wait to see it!

[Peggy]

I had a similar discussion with friends about The Secret. Doesn't it stand to reason that if you look for the positive, you will find it and visa versa? Doesn't that make sense? I also grew up an Episcopalian, or Catholic without the guilt, and realized that many of the concepts my friends were all geeked about in The Secret, were actually lifted from the basic concepts of the Bible. A bit of plagiarism perhaps? Not that it doesn't happen all the time from that particular book. A good portion of it was lifted from the Torah. I agree with you, good, systematic hard work will get you where you want to be. Does it take belief in yourself? Of course. If you think you will succeed, you have a much better chance of succeeding. DUHHHH!!!

[Beej]

I borrowed The Secret book from the library and laughed my ass off all the way through it. The thing about thinking positively about what you want is that while you're thinking positively you'll think about ways to get what you want. Sure, you could think all day long about selling a book, but it's not gonna happen unless you write the damn thing, right? But a normal person will think " I want to be an author." And then the next thought is "OK, how can I make that happen?"

The thing that cracked me up the most is that the book said to test out The Secret by putting your positive energy out there for a cup of coffee to come your way, and it will come your way. Of course it'll come your way. Sit down at a diner at breakfast and they offer you coffee. Go to a friend's house and they will offer you coffee. Go to a job interview and they will offer you coffee. Hell, they even have coffee at the bank. Somehow they don't tell you to try it out by wishing for creme brulee.

So, yeah, there is some truth to The Secret, but the author forgot to mention the most important part. You know, the part where you work to make the things you want happen.

[stephani]

Totally agree on the whole karma vibe...it's what goes around comes around. I have been priviledged enough to experience it at work when a supervisor was giving me a hard time, so I pulled out the big guns and SHE got fired...yeah me! BTW...when will the episode with you and Samantha Brown air? I totally LOVE Chicago and can't wait to see it!

[Jules]

I feel sorry for any sucker going to her/his mailbox each day "wishing" or "thinking positively that there will be no bills" Baloney!!!
I didn't like the book at all. Happy to say I didn't spend money on it.

[LindaS.]

Rent the movie. Watch it.

It will make you think about what you say and do in a different light.

Especially good for people that tend to be negative about everything.

It's a great concept.

[jewelz916]

So I bought The Secret after being told by a friend that it REALLY does work if you truly embrace the message. Mmm-hmmm, ooooo-kaaaaay.
I read it, thought a couple of positive things, and they didn't happen (I didn't lose 30 pounds overnight and I didn't become a millionaire...not entirely unrealistic wishes, were they?)
Anyway...I was pissed that I'd spent $24.99 on the thing and didn't keep the receipt because it was still as good as new...so I wrapped it up and gave it to a depressed friend for her birthday. How 'bout that?

[Bella]

This post? Is exactly why I gave you the Smile Award on my blog.

Love those colors, especially the dark ones.

[Bella]

This post? Is exactly why I gave you the Smile Award on my blog.

Love those colors, especially the dark ones.

[Lisa]

I loathe The Secret and I must admit I have thought less of the person who recommended it ever since. Did you know that the author of the Secret believes that people who have horrible luck -- say, some of those genocide victims in Darfur -- brought it on themselves? Jeez.

[notcarrie]

I LOVE Samantha Brown!

And I work at a bookstore and am so sick of people asking for The Secret. I think it annoys me that they don't know it's on the effing bestseller list and they need to think postively and FIND IT THEMSELVES!!! I will happily show them YOUR books, though.

[Marie]

Well if I haven't read the book 'The Secret' yet but I saw it on Oprah and it's not about wishing things into reality. It's about making choices. The end result of those choices is what you wished for. So if you want a different job, sitting there wishing for it won't make it happen. You make a choice to get a different job. You choose to apply for new jobs and work your ass off to get the new job. It doesn't fall from the sky....

[Suzy Q]

The Secret is just so much bullshit. It's just a re-do of The Celestine Prophecy for the new millenium. Which was a New Agey re-do of Norman Vincent Peale's book of 40+ years ago, The Power of Positive Thinking.

Wish I'd thought to write a remake myself.

"The Universe" solves your problems? Give me a fucking break.

[A Jenn Fan from Ohio]

Sure..."the Secret" I've picked up this book at Target once or twice, looked at it and put it down, I did however add it to my netflix que with the hopes that some moment of boredom it will be top in my que and come to me when I need it most (isnt that what Karma and the "secret" is supposed to be??) Anywho---Jenn you rock!! I am officially not allowed to read your books in bed anymore, because due to my fits of laughter, it pisses off my husband who is trying to sleep. I love love love your books, was the first person to get it from the library even though I bought a copy too.

[Phyllis]

My girls and I got to meet Samantha Brown at a Weekend Home expo here in Houston. She is the best, and as adorable in person as she is on TV.

[Rhonda R]

OMG! My friend is WAAAAAY over the top on The Secret. I must admit I haven't read the book, however I think it much more "positive attitude" and being optimistic than the universe bringing things to you just because you think positive about it. If is was as simple as putting the "intention" out there then there would never be a screaming kid in a restaurant I walk in to!!

[Amanda]

http://ihasahotdog.com/2008/07/28/funny-dog-pictures-weird-teh-pillowz-sploded-outta-nowere/#comments

[Jessica]

I am sooooo Jealous of Samantha Brown! I just want to know how she got the best job in the world!

[Molly]

How about Pray to God but row to shore?!

[Lauren in MI]

I am so jealous! I live for your books and Samantha's shows! I may just die from awesome overload from the two of you meeting. Please let us know when the special airs (I will wear my polo and pearls in your honor)!

[Andrea]

OMG jealous! I love Samantha Brown!

[Autumn]

I heard about The Secret and thought it was all monkey piss. Then, my hair stylist of six years, who is the sweetest, most lovely girl of nearly 32 (and also a breast cancer survivor of one year and counting) told me she was reading it and how it changed her attitude and made her feel empowered and hopeful again....

I was profoundly at a loss, which hardly ever happens to me, and then forced to acknowledge that books like The Secret have a function for some. I dislike being wrong, but, hey, "growth happens...sometimes."

I'm really most grateful that she is healthy again for a couple of reasons:
a) She is a mom and her babies need her.
and
b) She is my age and that shit is scary!

If reading The Secret can make her happy and forward-thinking and able to do my hair, then I'm all for it. 'Cause, seriously? She's waaay more talented than the chick who did my hair for the year that she was in chemo.

[Jeanine Shimer]

Sorry, had to comment under this section because the rip tide one was closed. Did you see the story on deadly riptides on the Today show this morning?!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/25901978#25901978

You are very brave.

[Megan Canny]

I am GREEN with envy Jen! GREEN!

[the drunk canuck]

don't forget to eat your pork & beans @

http://www.thedrunkcanuck.com

[Ava]

I will be slender
I will be happy
I will be popular
I will be rich
I will be GREAT!

Nope. Nada. Nothing.

[Meg]

I love Samantha Brown!

[Tracie]

Hey Jen, the puppers are on ihasahotdog.com again.

[Bridget W.]

That. Is. Hilarious.
Last week, I was sitting with some friends at a restaurant, and we had (in true 23 year old fashion) bypassed the food menu and gone straight for the beer. The general bitching about our weeks came after that. All was well until one of my closest friends announced that she knew how to solve all of our problems.

We all stopped: mid-sentence, mid-sip, mid-gushing over the cute boy with the guitar (mid-all of the above) and looked at her.

Then she pulled out a little book.
Take a freaking guess what it was.

However, after a few hours of hearing about it, we didn't want to send our good feelings flying out into the universe so much as to send our beers flying into her face.

Stupid secret. Don't believe the hype.

[andie]

Like you, I believe that the hard work and dedication are what bring good things to people.

and how cool that you met Samantha Brown. I would LOVE her job! LOVE it.

So does her hair look as good in person as it does on tv? LOL

[Katie]

Yep, the Secret is a bunch of crap. It is laughable. Lots of gullible people in the world trying to "make it" without actually working for it and looking to anything that will tell them that they will get whatever they want by expending as little energy as possible.

Same concept behind that electronic pulse belt-thingy that will give you six-pack abs without doing any actual exercise.

[Jodie Kash]

The Secret can 'ef a person up. If a woman believes whole-heartedly in the TPOPT and concept of The Secret, yet can’t overcome a battle with cancer did she not do it right? Not want it enough?

I recently wrote about something similar -
(Willpower) It's not simply “think it and be it”; rather the other side of the it’s-out-of-my-hands mentality of “The Secret” or organized religion. It’s not wishing, doctrine or what Oprah “Knows For Sure”. Willpower believes everyday is Anything Can Happen Day and knows one must take action to be accountable.

[Sarah]

http://ihasahotdog.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/funny-dog-pictures-mischief-dogs-tell-you-a-tall-tale.jpg

Puppies starring again!

[molly]

Had to comment on The Secret. The only thing that pisses me off is that this is a totally ripped off idea from 1) the Bible 2) the great philosophers 3) common sense. It is not a new idea to have a positive attitude. It so pisses me off that this woman has duped millions into thinking that this is a new concept. THINK WITH YOUR OWN BRAIN. Of course if you think that positive things will happen, you will think that you made it happen with your mind power when it does. Anyway- Jenn- congrats on your success and if it is due to the fact that you thought you had something positive to bring to the world- more power to you. Keep bringing what it is you do so well. I'm off to apply for the Travel Channel job. (think positive)

[jana]

Jen:
Everyone at my work is talking about "The Secret" as if it is the be-all, end-all of success. Unfortunately, we all work as servers at a restaurant. I don't think it's working for them. (For the record, I'm happy being a server...I "wished" for a husband that makes a lot of money in advertising so that I could work part-time and just hang out 3 days a week....BINGO!)

[Stella]

What about all the times where you believe until you're blue in the face and nothing happens?

I could relate at least a dozen tales right off the top of my head where the Power of Positive Thinking only increased the bitterness of the disappointment when it finally kicked the believer in the teeth.

The truth is that hopefully each of us believes in ourselves, but we all harbour doubts too. So when stuff works out, we congratulate ourselves for our focus and positive outlook. And when it doesn't, we blame ourselves: It must have been because I doubted.

[Melissa]

I LOVE the fact that you used the word "salty" to describe yourself....yey for a throwback to my childhood :D

[Jenny Wells]

MAISY AND LOKI are back on ihasahotdog!

I got waaaayyyy too excited when I saw this and I just had to share it. ..

[Amanda]

While on vacation I found your book Such A Pretty Fat in Target. I swear I have never laughed so hard at reading a book! After I finished reading it, I went to the bookstore and bought Bitter is the New Black. I haven't finished it, yet, but I am enjoying it as much as SAPF.

You'll be happy to know that I bought my first pair of Crocs (flip flops). I saw a lady in a hotel with a pair on and she said they felt as good as wearing tennis shoes all day. I was in a mountainous tourist town. After walking a few hills and shopping, my feet were killing me! As I was walking past all of the little stores, I looked up and saw a Croc's store, went inside, and bought me a pair. They are so comfortable!

You lucky girl meeting Samantha. She's so adorable!

By the way, I also bought a pedometer and a Weight Watcher's magazine! lol

[Not Just Any Jen]

I started the first few pages and was annoyed by "the secret." Weird.

Thanks for the gist.
Go Cubs go, go Cubs go, hey Chicago...

And who wrote that song?

[Kelsey]

Jen!!
I think that you have worked hard and you deserve all the sucess that is brought to you!
I LOVE the nail polish, a perk of being an author huh? Remind me to include the names of things I love when before I finish writing mine...good lesson.

[Lesley]

Aww, you two are adorable, as I knew you would be. :)

[Tracie]

I want Jen's life. that is all. I cannot verbalize my jealousy.

[kell]

When are you going to be on TV Jen? I am totally going to watch if you are on that show....post it please.

[SnarkyMommy]

I have not read "The Secret" but I am suspect of it already. I can tell you with absolute certainty that I call bullshit on "Eat, Pray, Love" so if it's anything like that, I will hate it.

I can't say I pictured you as a Cubs-game-goer. Adds a new dimension to you!

[Maria]

Jen I so love your humor and I can't wait to try out the nail polishes!

I am putting together a list of women who inspire and was hoping you or anyone really can come by and add some names to my post!

Thanks again!
M

[TheOtherJen]

You and Samantha Brown would be at my fantasy dinner table. I am green with envy that you hung out with her.

[Anita]

so totally new fan here- picked up "Such a Pretty Fat" in Target on a whim Friday night because I was out of beach reading and the cover looked cool... what can I say I judge a book by its cover ;)

Sat down with my lunch on the deck and didnt move for 5 hours. I was laughing out loud so hard at times my neighbors may think I'm crazy (ok so maybe they thought that before but this did nothing to disabuse them of that notion) I finished it and was totally disappointed that there wasnt more to read. but there is.... hooray for the blog... and now I breathlessly await the UPS man with Bitter and Bright Lights from Amazon!

Bummed the posts will be light but can't wait for the new book!

[Laura]

Jen, your dogs are at the top of ihasahotdog.com again!

[Alicia]

Jen,
We have the same sunglasses! I have the ones with the red frames though. Are they not fabulous??

Anyway, "The Secret" is just a bunch of recycled information in a package that is easy to read. Several years ago, there was a book written by Esther and Jerry Hicks called "The Laws of Attraction." It's very similar, but "Laws" focuses on mental and emotional well being as opposed to "The Secret" focusing on monetary well being.