As You Wish

Lotta ground to cover here today, so prepare yourself.

OK, here we go.

RECOMMENDED READING

First, you people want book recommendations?  You got 'em.  Here's everything I've finished in the last month:

Queen of the Road is basically what would happen if you took me, gave me a modicum of maturity and a better education, and then tricked me into living on a (very nice) bus with my husband and pets for a year.  I loved this book and I love this author.  If you want a taste of what I'm talking about, check out Doreen Orion's website; it's probably the best author's site I've ever seen.  Lots of multimedia stuff and you can read parts of the book!

A hidden bonus of going on book tour is meeting bookstore owners and employees.  Such was the case at Good Great Place for Books in Oakland.  (BTW, all of you who warned me about how murder-y Oakland is?  Yeah, my biggest fear in this 'hood was being run over by a Range Rover.)  Anyway, the owner picked out The Book of Joe by Jonathan Tropper and promised I'd enjoy it.  She was so right.  It's a story about an author who wrote a novel trashing the town where he grew up and what happens when he finally returns to that town years later.

Whacked by Jules Asner frustrates me, but only because as soon as I finished it I wanted to send Jules a big, squealing fangirl note and there's pretty much no way to contact her.  No website, no MySpace, no Facebook, no nothing.  (My guess it's because she's married to director Steven Soderberg and probably doesn't need ten billion aspiring screenwriters and actors using her book as an excuse to get to him.)  Regardless, Whacked is kind of dark chick lit where the heroine is a stalker, but you root for her anyway.  And love you, Jules Asner!  Call me!  Don't make me continue to stalk YOU.

Allison Winn Scotch recommended Confessions of a Contractor by Richard Murphy.  (Do you read Allison's blog?  I buy everything she recommends and I've yet to be anything less than delighted.)  What's nice is this book actually explains why the fuck it took eight weeks to finish my bathroom, but more importantly, tells a solidly-crafted story about a contractor getting too involved with the lives of his clients.

The Opposite of Love by Julie Buxbaum is another AWS suggestion.  I picked it up about a month ago and didn't put it down until I was done.  It's a great novel about loss and love and finally figuring out who you are.  Spellbinding, seriously.

And now, for what I'm about to read:

Alison Pace is one of my favorite authors, so her new novel City Dog is at the top of my stack.  She excels at creating well-defined, witty characters.  City Dog is about a serious novelist who takes a segue into writing bestselling children's books -it's sure to be a treat!  Check out her Amazon blog and you can read the beginning!

Joanne Rendell is one of my MySpace buddies and her new book The Professors' Wives' Club just came out.  It's being billed as Sex and the City for the academic set, and how can that not be interesting? 

I bought Sheer Abandon by Penny Vincenzi because I opened it to a random page in the middle of the book and totally wanted to read more.  (That's my litmus test for any book, BTW.)  From what I understand it's about a baby born and abandoned in Heathrow airport and what happens when the kid grows up and wants to know who her mom is.  I totally got a Lace vibe from it and, naturally, that spoke to my 80's-Phoebe-Cates-loving heart.  ("Which one of you bitches is my mother?)

Twilight by Stephenie Meyer - this is my reward for finishing my own book.  NO ONE TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS.  I figure anything that's inspired that much Facebook flair has to be addictive.

Sometimes I buy a book just for the cover.  Check out Assisted Loving: True Tales of Double Dating with My Dad by Bob Morris.  Because 80 is the new 70.

WHAT I'M WATCHING

First, Gossip Girl.  Duh.  But I've also been totally and completely obsessed with the CBS show Swingtown. 

You guys, this is SO GOOD. 

The story takes place in a wealthy Chicago suburb in 1976.  It's about a nice nuclear family on its way up the social ladder.  They move from their bucolic middle class neighborhood to a big house by the lake, across the street from a couple with an open marriage who suck them in to a swinger lifestyle.

Yes, all of the above sounds really cheesy and tawdry, but the writers have done an amazing job making every character complex, like the head of the swingers who secretly wishes to be a regular housewife and the old neighbor who has trouble coming to terms with her friend's family's success.  Essentially the show is a bold look at the fallout from the sexual revolution of the 60's.  And it's available on iTunes if you're interested and you may be able to see full episodes on CBS.com, free.  Watch it for no reason other than to see the role Grant Show was born to play.

WEBSITES I OBSESSIVELY CHECK

If you all aren't already reading Jenny at the Blogess then do so immediately.  Four words for you:  Angry Transvestite Lego Army.

Senior editor Josh Wolk of EW has a blog and his take on pop culture is no less than brilliant.  Enjoy!  (And the next time I hit the bookstore, I'm getting his memoir Cabin Pressure.)

BATHROOM BEFORE AND AFTERS

Here's what my house looked like for eight weeks.

This was actually taken after some of the stuff was moved to the basement.  Please note how I cannot get to my side of the bed, as well as the inch-thick drywall dust.

This is our dressing area.  Do you know how many times I worried Fletch would get up in the dark and just whiz in the available toilet? 

Why I couldn't get to my treadmill for eight weeks.

The tiling that took weeks.  Multiple weeks.

Was it worth it?

The new ceiling in the powder room (that also took this bath out of the mix for eight weeks.)

My magnificent shower.  You can't really see the detail but the little tiles are onyx and are a million different shades of beach-glass green.

You also can't see the sink detail but it's a slab of quartz with tiny slashes of sage green and brown marbling.  You also can't see where Fletch had to shove the bucket because he just discovered that the sink is leaking.  HA, HA, HA, FUCK.

FINALLY, WHAT PASSES FOR HUMOR AROUND HERE

Fletch was shaving off his goatee but insisted I get shots of him with just a mustache first.  He laughed so hard he almost wet his pants when he saw this.  I was all, "You look like a Chicago cop, what of it?"

"I haz a butt."  "I haz a butt, too."

And finally, what I like to call Nature's Own Post-It Notes

Alrighty, I'll be back when the book is done! 

(If you guys have any suggestions for good books, shows, or websites in the interim, put them in the comments.)

Comments

[Masked Mom]

My only suggestion? When you read Josh Wolk's book--absolutely no food or drink while reading. I guarantee snorting will be involved and there's no sense making more of a mess than necessary.

[Lea in SC]

Hope you love Twilight...I find myself reading and re-reading...and then reading again. I can hardly wait for the movie to come out in November!! My husband, although making fun of me being obsessed with Young Adult books, has enjoyed the spike in my interest in amorous activity. :) It does that to ya. And whoever posted that Edward was abusive, did you actually READ the books? I can't think of even a MILD example of any kind of abuse. Anyway, thanks for YOUR recommendations, I have added them to my Amazon wish list!

[Kristen]

Just a comment about Twilight - not about the story, but how I came across the series. My husband and I were doing our Friday night Barnes & Noble run and the last of the series was apparently being released at 12:00am, and Barnes & Noble held a PROM for those who pre-ordered the book. It was unbelievable to see all these teenagers, in a bookstore - on a Friday night - dressed for a Prom mind you... I just had to see what had drawn them there, and needless to say I wasn't disappointed, I am on the 3rd book, I think my husband and son might be wondering what happened to me.....

PS - I LOVE your books, and pass them on to everyone, please keep writing!!!!!

[CordyD]

Huh. Wonder why my comment posted THREE times? Makes me seem a little strange...

[CordydD]

That's exactly why I want to read Twilight! I can't believe all of the Facebook flair created in its honor!

[CordydD]

That's exactly why I want to read Twilight! I can't believe all of the Facebook flair created in its honor!

[CordydD]

That's exactly why I want to read Twilight! I can't believe all of the Facebook flair created in its honor!

[Sandy]

Just finished Breaking Dawn (last of the Meyers series) and noticed after reading all four in a week that yes, I had two children and a husband....oops sort of lost myself. My three other favorites that I read this summer were Body & Soul by Frank Conroy, The Summer Guest by Justin Cronin and Exile by James Patterson. Fabulous reads all in different genres. Can't wait to read a few from your list- am always looking for the next great read. Thanks for this very useful post. Personally waiting for the return of Nip/Tuck which is a little too edgy and disgusting in its material sometimes but Julian McMahon is sooooo edible....I've heard that Gossip Girl has some delicious morsels on it...might have to check it out for eye candy alone!

[Manic Mommy]

Loved, loved, loved Julie Buxbaum's Opposite of Love. You will also LOVE Time of My Life by Allison Winn Scotch when it comes out next month!

Also, Professor Wive's Club--that's on my nightstand too--can't wait to read!

The rennovation looks fab! So does the Chicago cop!

[Elise]

the twilight series is wonderful. especially the first book. i finished all four in six days. seriously, it's all i did for six days. my friends thought i had gone insane. anyway.. i recommened only starting twilight when you have a lot of time dedicated to reading because it's the kind of book you don't want to close.

also.. bathroom looks great! and i can't wait for the next book! happy writing! :)

[Melissa]

I just finished ALL of Stephanie Meyer's books in less than 2 weeks. I had to take time off work to do it, but I sucked it up and read 'em all. Loved The Host. Loved all of the Twilight saga.

Read The Gargoyle too. It was tragic, mystical and made me really think that I was crazy for wanting to believe in the fantasy. It was that well written.

The bathroom looks FABulous! I just hope you can get the contractor back sometime before christmas to clean up the leak...

[Stefanie]

Twilight is awesome! I agree with everyone else, make sure you have them all with you, because you will want them all one after another! I have been watching the new 90210 and it's actually not half bad. I've just started getting into Gossip Girl, but I like it so far. I read Queen of the Road, and I thought it was really good. I like the way she writes. I too am ashamed to admit I buy books based on their covers sometimes, if it doesn't have an interesting cover, it might not be good. I picked up your books due to their interesting covers and now I can't wait to read your new one!

[Rachel]

I know this is totally not the thrust of this post..... but I love a faithful Biolage-user. Smells like clean spirit.

[Kristin]

my boss just made me read Gargoyle....very nice read.

[Nicole]

I loved "Water for Elephants" and totally agree about "Heaping Spoonful" by Shauna Glenn. I laughed my ass off at the main character's sister and some of the funny things that happened. Highly recommend it.

[Kara]

Great, wonderful, and very funny book:

Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal
written by Christopher Moore

No, this is not some over the top, religious story but it is seriously funny (i.e. The reason bunnies are associated with Easter is because Jesus was a little glum and had a bit too much of the water he turned into wine and fell in love with the cuddly, soft bunny that happened to be at the party). It also has a very good, heartwarming story. Moore's books are all very unique and funny though, I'd suggest anything by him.

Also, I'm so glad you're going to read the Twilight series, they are completely addictive! The Host is also a wonderful story.
Can't wait to read your new book!

[Beth]

Love anything Jen Lancaster ;) What is title of next book?

Other fun read: Queen of Babble series

Swingtown - love this show; cannot wait for it to come back on and YES, Roger has goten cuter and cuter show by show!

[Monika]

I agree with all of the Twilight fans on here....and I would also highly recommend "Heaping Spoonful" by Shauna Glenn. It is a darkly funny story and a super quick read. Perfect for a rainy day with a glass of wine in hand (huh...Mom of two small children dreaming about a perfect day that involves wine and quiet enough house that I can read in peace....) Where is grandma when I need her?

[Shawna]

Keep the book suggestions coming--I have always agreed 100% with your recommendations. However, your choice in remodeling contractors leaves much to be desired . . .

[Sara]

Yay for Alison Pace!! I love her! The pass-the-Schnauzer scene in If Andy Warhol Had a Girlfriend makes me laugh every time I think about it.

I'd treat Twilight like a trilogy if I were you. The fourth book was a hideous letdown.

[Michelle]

So glad to see Twilight in your pile of books. As everyone else has said, you will want to have the other books of the series nearby because I believe the pages of all Stephenie's books contain crack. One down side is that you may have to rely on Fletch's cooking while you are devouring Twilight...

[Kerry]

Oh my Gawd, I totally loved "Lace". Ah...memories. You inspired me to relive the glory that is Phoebe Cates (totally off the radar now), but when I went to go add it to my Netflix it was not available...damn you Made-for-TV movies that haven't gotten around to being DVDs...damn you!

[Stef]

Jen,

I love your books and am a huge fan of yours! But i'm telling you that you will fall in love with Twilight! I held out and ended up reading the whole saga in 3 weeks. So you might have other books to read, but I'm telling you, once you read Twilight, you'll want to read the other 3! I look forward to reading your newest book! I can't wait to hear what you think about Twilight!

[Momo Fali]

Well, I found this one blogger through Danny Evans' links and she's written a few great books that I can't put down. One of them even made me burst out laughing in the middle of a hospital's surgery waiting room...so that was pretty cool.

Maybe you've heard of Such a Pretty Fat? Well, I was 39th on the library waiting list, so I ended up buying it and now I'm sharing it, and I may end up stalking Jen Lancaster like she stalks Jules Asner. Just sayin'.

[Lisa Johnson]

I've been in love with David Duchovny for moment one of episode 1 of Californication. I've been anxiously awaiting season 2 when I read in the paper that David is in rehab for sex addiction....and in the same paragragh....season 2 starts Sept 28th. What a way to hipe your series! Are there any good?? sex addictions?

[Kathy]

Jen! Stop! Don't read sheer abandon! I didn't want to finish it, yet didn't want to just put it down and never find out what happened. (I'm like that...bad movies are the same too). It was an okay book I guess but there is a lot of politics discussed in the book and I don't understand how the political system works in England, so I was LOST. Severe disappointment. SERIOUSLY.

I just Read Tori Spelling's book as well as Bunny Tales. It's written by one of Hef's ex girlfriends who were around when Holly and Bridget came in the picture and she blows the lid off of everything!

also Golddiggers....EXCELLENT read

[Marianna]

Television: Maybe I am the only one who enjoys it - but I love Mad Men. Rent the first season - it is scandalous and retro and fabulousness.

Books (Trying not to repeat previous comments/stuff you've read):

Water for Elephants - Fiction about old time circus and the scandal/cast of characters. Kind of dark - but good nonetheless.

Julie & Julia - Non-Fict. about a girl named Julie who tries to cook all of Julia Childs recipes in a year. The part about making a jelly out of cow hooves assisted in my dieting for a week. I think they are making the movie version soon with Meryl Streep playin' Miz Julia.

Getting Rid of Matthew - By Jane Fallon - Fiction - Funny about a 30 something in England who has a long time affair with a man - and when he leaves his family for her - she can't rid of him quickly enough.

[Kate]

"But Enough About Me" by Jancee Dunn!!! Definitely the best book I've read since "Pretty Fat." She is a former MTV VJ and reporter for Rolling Stone. She weaves her own narrative with tales from her many many interviews including stories about Brad Pitt, Loretta Lynn, Dolly Parton, Rosie O'Donnell and various skeezy rockers.

[Cori from KC]

I recommend any book by Jennifer Belle- very dark chick lit and very very funny!

[Jeannie B.]

Fringe on Fox and the Southern vampire books by Charlaine Harris (Dead Until Dark, Living Dead in Dallas, etc.) on which HBO's new series True Blood is based. So far, the books outdo the TV version a little, but I've only seen the premiere.

[Underpaid Princess]

The new season of Top Design is WAY better than the last season. One of the contestants is married to Ricky Schroeder!

[melissa]

omg. OMG! i got so totally and unexpectedly into the twilight series!

a word of advice: if you give up after the first book you'll be missing the best parts. stick it through until the end and it will pay off.

also? skim the at-times too-long exposition. oh, and it's okay to picture edward topless in all his vampire-y muscle-y glory cause he's not *really* a teenager.

[Amelia]

I recommend James Frey's new novel, Bright Shiny Morning. It's about various people living in LA and how different their lives are, how LA can be a paradise for some and a hell for others. Yes, I know James Frey was outed as a big fat liar by saying that his "memoirs" were real, but this is a novel and it's very well written. Highly recommended.
I also recommend Jessica Queller's memoir, Pretty Is What Changes. It is about her struggle with learning she has the Breast Cancer Gene, and the course of action she takes. It's very good.

[Amy from Voorhees, NJ]

Love Gossip Girl and Swingtown but you have to watch Californication too! And for books, if you guys have not read "The Art of Racing in the Rain" by Garth Stein - run, do not walk, to the nearest bookstore. It's a wonderful book that's narrated by the family dog, Enzo. Everything that happens is told from his point of view. It's one of the best books I've read in a long time.

I'm not a fan of Twilight but still reading just to see what happens - I'm on the 4th book of the series. Does anyone else really really dislike Bella?

Jenn - thanks for the book suggestions - you are the greatest!

[Heather]

Have you ever watched October Road, it sounds exactly like the book of Joe. The guy writes a book trashing his town and in the first season of the show he moves back. You should check it out if you haven't already.

[Stephanie]

Ok, I have Twilight, but I haven't read it yet. I am feeling some peer pressure to read it now. I don't have the other three though, so I am heading to Amazon now.

Books I love: Jodi Picoult - she is a great writer and writes about controversial issues. Love her books. Read My Sister's Keeper first, you will definitely be hooked. Plain Truth, Salem Falls, Perfect Match, those are my favorites by her.

Shows: Nip/Tuck - I started watching it on DVD and I couldn't stop. I can't wait for the next season to start because of course it ended with a cliffhanger! And I love Sunset Tan - they are all so catty - I can't get enough!

[Shelly]

Yay Princess Bride reference!

I love your book recommendations! I usually end up writing down all of them. I have read "I Was Told There'd be Cake" and "Are You There, Vodka, It's Me, Chelsea" at your recommendation and I loved them both. I recently read "The Year of Magical Thinking" by Joan Didion and really liked it. I would also recommend "Rabbit Factory" by Marshall Karp. It's a murder mystery, love story, cop drama, lonely widower who still loves his wife story all in one. It really has it all.

CANNOT WAIT for your new book. LOVE the first three.

[HeatherErin]

Bathroom: Very nice.

Having a visual of where a stranger poops: Not so good. ;)

[Dominique]

If you have not read Bleachy Haired Honky Bitch by Hollis Gillespie, you must go out immediately and obtain it. And her other book as well, Confessions of a Recovering Slut. She. Is. Hilarious. I haven't read her new book Trailer Trashed, but I have no doubt it will be outstanding. Go on then, go to the bookstore, don't just sit around twiddling your thumbs.

[paula s]

I need to know the brand and color of the paint in your powder room. So gorgeous.

[Samantha]

It occurred to me that since you're a memoir writer, you may already know about this particular author, since she writes memoirs too. But if you don't, you should read Laurie Notaro. I got her book The Idiot Girls' Action Adventure Club in a used book store and was laughing my way through just like when I read your books. Her books aren't too long and they're easy and quick to read, so you should check her out. :-)

[Mary]

WOOHOO for you reading Twilight!!!! I just KNOW you're going to love it....I was skeptical at first...but once I started, I couldn't stop!!!
As for TV shows, I'm totally digging Mad Men on AMC and since you adore Gossip Girls, I bet you would enjoy Privileged the new show on the CW starring Joanna Garcia (previously on Reba)....the premiere was tonight and I loved every second of it!!!
Well that's about all I got! Best of luck with finishing the book, I can't wait to read it!

[Brittany]

I am so so so excited that you are reading Twilight! You will not be disappointed. But get ready for a soul-sucking addiction. It's a very very good thing that you're waiting until the book is done!

[Katrina]

Desperate in the airport, I picked up Tina Brown's "The Diana Chronicles." Having read every People, Vanity Fair and other article printed about Charles, Di, Camilla, and the rest of the gang at Buckingham Palace, Sandringham, Balmoral and Sandringham, I thought I knew most of the real story.

This book is mermerizing, if you like non-fiction and good reporting. Tina Brown brings her reportorial skills to Diana's life story, chasing down the facts behind the headlines 20-some years later and it's eye-opening. I learned much about Camilla's role before, during and after Diana's life/death. Fascinating background on Diana's family. Many details on how things work inside the Palace. It all makes me wonder how Diana stood it as long as she did.

I'm looking forward to reading many of Jen's suggestions!

DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT JEN'S NEW BOOK IS ABOUT???

[Kristin]

Californication is a brilliant show, I highly recommend it to anyone who likes to laugh and appreciates a super bitter David Duchovny. One line from this brilliant show..."Well I'd like to fellate myself while farting the White Album but you don't see that happening do you?" Fucking hysterical.

[Kelsey]

Please, please, please don't become obsessed with Twilight and Edward (who, by the way is ABUSIVE). I might cry if you go all obsessed.

But Twilight aside, I might have to go book shopping for your suggestions, because I don't already have enough reading to do for school.

[Holly]

First of all, your "litmus test" is how I came to purchase "Pretty Fat." ;-) I've since been through all of your stuff, check your blog daily and change my facebook and various IM services to reflect one of your quotes almost daily. Rather confident you've got a fan for life.

So many things have me feeling as if we're kindred spirits. (i.e., your honed "craft" of sarcasm, previously owning a Newf, your GOP tendencies, the fact that you even know what MST3K is ... the list is too wide and varied to complete in this forum.)

Your mention of Jonathan Tropper had me "squeeing." I found him immediately prior to finding you. Busted through his stuff, too -- although some of it's "hard" to push through due to the complex subject matter. Nonetheless, all of his books are great reads.

Now, as for suggestions ...

Fun reads: "The Other Side of the Story" by Marian Keyes. If you haven't read this one yet, it's great, especially from an "author's" point of view. (Story is written from 3 different perspectives: the agent; the established author; the next "it" girl author. Classic Keyes with good Irish sass knitted into it.)

Meaty reads: "Outlander" by Diana Gabaldon. (There are currently 6 books in this series with the next about to drop). It's a bit "historical fiction" with Scotland as the primary backdrop until the characters land in pre-Revolution America. It sounds like a yawn, but the main characters, Jamie and Claire, are written so well I actually "missed them" when I finished the last book -- as if they moved away without leaving phone number. There's something about strong, principled men in kilts meeting their match in strong, principled, educated women that makes for a wonderfully told story. Strongly recommended for an avid reader such as yourself.

Thanks for your suggestions. I've add a few to my "stack" as well!

Thanks, too, for giving me a reason to never leave my tub! Blessed be the person who said, "Hey, you know what. This Jen Lancaster chick needs to be published!" (Please convey this reader's gratitude to the appropriate authority(ies)). ;-)

Holly

[Nicole]

Thanks for the book recommemndations... I just finished reading the entire Twilight series this week and was depressed 'cause I didn't know what I should check out next.

:)
Nicole

P.S. I'm glad you have a pretty place to get all nice and glammy!

P.S.S.
Some of my current website crushes at the moment..

www.twilightnovel.com
www.stepheniemeyer.com

(I didn't think to check your previous comments - you probably already have that listed... hmmm.)

These aren't exactly my crushes but they are fun!

http://www.dailylit.com/ you can read the classics for free!

http://www.switchplanet.com/

http://www.pandora.com/

[Cher]

Watch "Fringe" on Fox! It premiered tonight, and is AMAZING. There's an encore on Sunday at 8/7c.

[laura]

Yes........I am another HUGE Twlight fan and I totally agree with everyone who said you need to get all the books NOW! I too couldnt find the 3rd book (thank god for Walmart finally:) Can't wait for the movie, even though I am too old (so what!!) As for shows Gossip Girl........OMFG it's so the best! And you know Kristen Bell is the voice of GG. I really loved "Veronica Mars" I still really miss that show!

Has anyone seen Dr. Horrible's sing a long blog?? Jen if you haven't it is on Hula.com and you have to watch it is so funny. I think you and (everyone) should check it out, you will really laugh and love it!

Thanks for the book recommendations! They really help me choose what to read next! And I so can't wait to read your next book.

P.S. The bathroom looks fab!