As You Wish

Lotta ground to cover here today, so prepare yourself.

OK, here we go.

RECOMMENDED READING

First, you people want book recommendations?  You got 'em.  Here's everything I've finished in the last month:

Queen of the Road is basically what would happen if you took me, gave me a modicum of maturity and a better education, and then tricked me into living on a (very nice) bus with my husband and pets for a year.  I loved this book and I love this author.  If you want a taste of what I'm talking about, check out Doreen Orion's website; it's probably the best author's site I've ever seen.  Lots of multimedia stuff and you can read parts of the book!

A hidden bonus of going on book tour is meeting bookstore owners and employees.  Such was the case at Good Great Place for Books in Oakland.  (BTW, all of you who warned me about how murder-y Oakland is?  Yeah, my biggest fear in this 'hood was being run over by a Range Rover.)  Anyway, the owner picked out The Book of Joe by Jonathan Tropper and promised I'd enjoy it.  She was so right.  It's a story about an author who wrote a novel trashing the town where he grew up and what happens when he finally returns to that town years later.

Whacked by Jules Asner frustrates me, but only because as soon as I finished it I wanted to send Jules a big, squealing fangirl note and there's pretty much no way to contact her.  No website, no MySpace, no Facebook, no nothing.  (My guess it's because she's married to director Steven Soderberg and probably doesn't need ten billion aspiring screenwriters and actors using her book as an excuse to get to him.)  Regardless, Whacked is kind of dark chick lit where the heroine is a stalker, but you root for her anyway.  And love you, Jules Asner!  Call me!  Don't make me continue to stalk YOU.

Allison Winn Scotch recommended Confessions of a Contractor by Richard Murphy.  (Do you read Allison's blog?  I buy everything she recommends and I've yet to be anything less than delighted.)  What's nice is this book actually explains why the fuck it took eight weeks to finish my bathroom, but more importantly, tells a solidly-crafted story about a contractor getting too involved with the lives of his clients.

The Opposite of Love by Julie Buxbaum is another AWS suggestion.  I picked it up about a month ago and didn't put it down until I was done.  It's a great novel about loss and love and finally figuring out who you are.  Spellbinding, seriously.

And now, for what I'm about to read:

Alison Pace is one of my favorite authors, so her new novel City Dog is at the top of my stack.  She excels at creating well-defined, witty characters.  City Dog is about a serious novelist who takes a segue into writing bestselling children's books -it's sure to be a treat!  Check out her Amazon blog and you can read the beginning!

Joanne Rendell is one of my MySpace buddies and her new book The Professors' Wives' Club just came out.  It's being billed as Sex and the City for the academic set, and how can that not be interesting? 

I bought Sheer Abandon by Penny Vincenzi because I opened it to a random page in the middle of the book and totally wanted to read more.  (That's my litmus test for any book, BTW.)  From what I understand it's about a baby born and abandoned in Heathrow airport and what happens when the kid grows up and wants to know who her mom is.  I totally got a Lace vibe from it and, naturally, that spoke to my 80's-Phoebe-Cates-loving heart.  ("Which one of you bitches is my mother?)

Twilight by Stephenie Meyer - this is my reward for finishing my own book.  NO ONE TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS.  I figure anything that's inspired that much Facebook flair has to be addictive.

Sometimes I buy a book just for the cover.  Check out Assisted Loving: True Tales of Double Dating with My Dad by Bob Morris.  Because 80 is the new 70.

WHAT I'M WATCHING

First, Gossip Girl.  Duh.  But I've also been totally and completely obsessed with the CBS show Swingtown. 

You guys, this is SO GOOD. 

The story takes place in a wealthy Chicago suburb in 1976.  It's about a nice nuclear family on its way up the social ladder.  They move from their bucolic middle class neighborhood to a big house by the lake, across the street from a couple with an open marriage who suck them in to a swinger lifestyle.

Yes, all of the above sounds really cheesy and tawdry, but the writers have done an amazing job making every character complex, like the head of the swingers who secretly wishes to be a regular housewife and the old neighbor who has trouble coming to terms with her friend's family's success.  Essentially the show is a bold look at the fallout from the sexual revolution of the 60's.  And it's available on iTunes if you're interested and you may be able to see full episodes on CBS.com, free.  Watch it for no reason other than to see the role Grant Show was born to play.

WEBSITES I OBSESSIVELY CHECK

If you all aren't already reading Jenny at the Blogess then do so immediately.  Four words for you:  Angry Transvestite Lego Army.

Senior editor Josh Wolk of EW has a blog and his take on pop culture is no less than brilliant.  Enjoy!  (And the next time I hit the bookstore, I'm getting his memoir Cabin Pressure.)

BATHROOM BEFORE AND AFTERS

Here's what my house looked like for eight weeks.

This was actually taken after some of the stuff was moved to the basement.  Please note how I cannot get to my side of the bed, as well as the inch-thick drywall dust.

This is our dressing area.  Do you know how many times I worried Fletch would get up in the dark and just whiz in the available toilet? 

Why I couldn't get to my treadmill for eight weeks.

The tiling that took weeks.  Multiple weeks.

Was it worth it?

The new ceiling in the powder room (that also took this bath out of the mix for eight weeks.)

My magnificent shower.  You can't really see the detail but the little tiles are onyx and are a million different shades of beach-glass green.

You also can't see the sink detail but it's a slab of quartz with tiny slashes of sage green and brown marbling.  You also can't see where Fletch had to shove the bucket because he just discovered that the sink is leaking.  HA, HA, HA, FUCK.

FINALLY, WHAT PASSES FOR HUMOR AROUND HERE

Fletch was shaving off his goatee but insisted I get shots of him with just a mustache first.  He laughed so hard he almost wet his pants when he saw this.  I was all, "You look like a Chicago cop, what of it?"

"I haz a butt."  "I haz a butt, too."

And finally, what I like to call Nature's Own Post-It Notes

Alrighty, I'll be back when the book is done! 

(If you guys have any suggestions for good books, shows, or websites in the interim, put them in the comments.)

Comments

[Kandra]

P.S.
Fletches Hitlerstache- a little creepy

[Valerie]

Another Swingtown fan here. Didn't Roger get sexier and sexier with each week?? Great show!

[Leah]

GAH Twilight!!!! So amazing!

And also- Gossip Girl just keeps getting better...

[Melissa]

I HIGHLY suggest to not read Twilight until you finish your manuscript!! I read all FOUR books in 12 days and my girlfriend who does not read at ALL...finished all four books in 5 days! Get ready for some SERIOUS addiction!!

[Lisa]

I really recommend the book The Sex Lives of Cannibals by J Marteen Troost. Its about a mid-twenties couple (pretending to be married that is) who move to a remote, equatorial, south pacific island where everything is BUT oasis. A little comical, a little gross, but very entertaining. BTW, I Was Told There'd Be Cake was amazing - thank you so much for the recommendation!

[KEB]

I'm sooo glad you're reading Twilight... I tore through the series and I LOVE them... I have a little "club" o' twilight fans started among my friends :-)

[Kandra]

Alright, so i've got two things for ya.
1- You will absolutely LOVE twilight- i have heard SO much about it and i think everyone that has read it has fallen in love with it.
2- I am almost finished with your 3rd book and i am really enjoying it. In your book you talk about your experience with weight watchers meetings and how anti- cake they are. I would like you to know that i was watching TV the other day and a Weight Watchers commercial came on and one of the first things they said was," You'll learn to love cake again!"
I immediately thought of you. I don't know you personally but definately have enjoyed your books and i am anxiously awaiting your next book!

[Cathy D.]

The girls are right. Have ALL the Twilight series nearby when you start #1, and throw The Host in too. Next thing you know, you'll have Edward Cullen wallpaper on your laptop just like me....

[Melanie]

OMG ---I love Swingtown, I started watching it by accident but I'm hooked!!!! It is a great show and I will be soooooo disappointed if CBS doesn't bring it back.

I think I must be one of the few not watching Gossip Girl or reading Twilight

[Jen in MN]

Sheer Abandon! You will LOVE this book. I couldn't put it down, was sad when I was done and realized that it was the best work of fiction I had read in a long, long time. I immediately ran out and bought Penny's newest, An Absolute Scandal, but I don't want to start it for fear I'll love it. Sad, isn't it? I recently finished Jane Green's "The Beach House" which was lovely. It harkens back to her earlier works, which I adored. I just finished "The Thing About Jane Spring" which I had been dying to read and I had to force myself to finish it. Awful.

One of my very favorite books that you would adore is Patrick Dennis' "The Joyous Season". It was written in the '60s but was reissued in paperback a few years ago. It is laugh out loud funny. I re-read it at least once a year. Why it was never made into a movie is beyond me. It's brilliant.

[Christine]

Candance Bushnell's book One Fifth Avenue
comes out 9/22.

[Heather]

WOW! Awesome bathroom! Secret insults on banana peels? BRILLANT!!!

[Sara]

I too, am one of the legion of Twilight fans. I'm 33. I'm trying to figure out how I can "borrow" one of my friends tweens to take to the movie so as not to look a fool by going by myself.

Books/authors I recommend:

Anything by Jen Lancaster - of course. :-)

East of Eden - John Steinbeck. This is the only one of his books I've read and I loved it.

Cane River - Lalita Tademy

Candle in the Darkness - Lynn Austin

Something Borrowed - Emily Giffin
Something Blue - Emily Giffin
Baby Proof - Emily Giffin.

Second Chance-Jane Green

The Left Behind Series - couldn't put these down until I had ready all of them.

Harry Potter series

Fav TV Shows right now:

Project Runway - enough with "girl-licious," UGH.

Million Dollar Listing. I used to hate Chad, but now I kinda like him. He's just a geek like the rest of the us.

Top Model - seriously - what was with the season premiere? I think Tyra's let all that hairspray literally go to her head.

Jon & Kate plus 8 - I love this family and their values. I'm looking forward to watching the kids get older.

Say Yes to the Dress - I've never been married and this is fun to watch.

Looking forward to "Real Housewives of Atlanta." Those ******* look brutal.

That's my list!!

[Ashley]

I thought I was the only one that loved Swingtown! Heard rumors that they are cancelling the second season. Makes me super sad. :(

[another Jen]

I also LOVED the Twilight series and tore through all the books. I agree that you will want the other 3 at hand when you finish. I'll also throw in that I actually liked The Host (Meyers' non-Twilight sci-fi book) better than Breaking Dawn, the last the last one in the Twilight Series.

[Susan]

Okay-so you vote Elephant and I vote Donkey. Now, on to the important issues:
Have you seen the new WW comerical that says you can redifine your relationship with birthday cake?!?!? What is up with the anti-birthday cake attitude?!?!

[Sandra]

I hesitate to post this, but...Stephenie Meyer has portions of a draft of a fifth book posted at stepheniemeyer.com. It's Twilight told from Edward's perspective. Like so many others, I read all four books in a week. Addictive doesn't even begin to describe the Cullens. I'm so glad that these books weren't around when I was a tween reader. Now an entire generation of young women will search for a perfect looking young man with the maturity and social skills of a 90 year old man!

Never let Fletch do that again. Ever.

[Jules]

You will enjoy Sheer Abandon...I bought it on a whim @ the airport (only b/c I had re-red Bitter for the 3rd time---I just can't help myself Jen, you are a goddess!!!)Anyways I enjoyed it and hope you do too.I totally <3 the new bathroom!! And peed a bit @ the picture of Fletch along with the post-it on the banana. If you ever want an assistant who will work for free just to be around your awesomeness CONTACT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can't wait for the new book but I know I'll be done with it too soon and then bugging you for another!!!!!!!!! Love ya girl!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Anna]

All together now:

My name is _________ and I'm a Twilightaholic.

Yeah, I'm a 37-year-old mom of two toddlers and I'm not ashamed to admit my obsession with these books. TEAM EDWARD!!

[tracee]

I will pipe in regarding Twilight. I read them because I see everyone on the subway reading them and I wanted to know what the big fat deal was. I loved them.

Jen, a word to the wise... BEFORE you read the first one: Buy/borrow/obtain the 3 other books in the series. I did not do this. I could not find book 3 in my Walmart, Target, Borders or local library. I almost had a meltdown. On the verge of tears. In Target. When I couldn't find it. I overnighted it from Amazon. I had to. Loved them.

"How to Be Single" by Liz Tuccillo. She co-wrote "He's Just Not That Into You" with Greg Whatshisname, but this is fiction and about a writer who travels the world to see how it is for single women in different countries. Loved it.

TV Shows... I am anxiously awaiting the return of Eli Stone. Not only is a great show, it features random musical numbers and appearances by George Michael. And somehow it doesn't detract from the plot of a lawyer wanting to be a better man.

Hey, how did Fletch like the chardonnay covered in $5 bills?

[patricia]

I rarely have a clue as to what I will be buying when I go into a bookstore so I walk up and down the aisles, pulling off the shelf whatever catches my eye. Once that's accomplished, I do what you do except I read as snippet from the beginning, middle and sometimes the end. People often ask me how I can finish a book, already knowing how it will end. "But I don't know how the characters got there," I reply. We all have our methods. :D Sheer Abandon is on my to read pile as well.

[Betsy]

I totally read Twilight for the same reason! I wanted to know what the hell everyone was talking about. So a friend of mine and I got it on CD and listened to the whole way to Kansas City (from MN.) Not overly impressed but still a good read!

[Kim N]

I agree that Twilight is awesome. I'm just starting to read them! Also if you're into fantasy style books you can always try books by Angie Sage (she does the Septimus Heap series) and books by Cornella Funke (Inkheart, Inkspell, Inkdeath).

As for shows I LOVE How I Met Your Mother...Neil Patrick Harris cracks me up! Bones and House are also some good ones.

PS I loved your books so much that I've passed them around my office to my girlfriends and they love them too. I always hear someone laughing and then I get an email about one of the many funny parts! Can't wait for the next one!

[Katie]

I refused for a real long time to read Twilight and then I ran out of things to read and finally relented...IT WAS SO GOOD! I heart Edward, I don't care if he's 17...

[Jenna]

I heart the entire Twilight series, and I can't believe you haven't read them yet!!! You will be sucked in immediately, and you will crave book after book until you finish all four. No one will see you for days- just tell everyone you have a date with Edward...

[Ginger]

I'm soo glad to read everyone's comments and know that I'm not the only psycho for Twilight!!

Yes, I'm 31, and all I've done for the past 10 days is read these books. Now I'm in too deep. I have all the Facebook flair and bumper stickers, I watch the trailers on YouTube all the time, and had a minor meltdown when the cast was on the VMAs. I also seem to work in some small "fact" about vampires into most conversations. I need help, and fast!!

[mickey]

I loved the Twilight series until the last book. She could have done so much better with that ending.

If you like Sherlock Holmesian mysteries, I recommend the Barker & Llewelyn series by Will Thomas. "Some Danger Involved" is the first one.

I've been trying no to watch as much TV, but am excited to see a new season of Kitchen Nightmares- love Gordon Ramsay! I've also gotten hooked on Myles of Style on HGTV.

[reba]

I loved , loved the Twilight series!!
They just suck you right in!

Can't wait to hear what you think!

I agree with the other posters , you should get the next 3 before you finish #1........you'll NEED them!

[Mrs.D]

Oh wow, the moustache.

[Stepheney]

Nicole -
I wonder if your friend calls you a judgmental bitch when she says "oh my friend Nicole, the judgmental bitch read this book"?

You do not want to take on the Twilight Universe - seriously.

Read the book then voice your opinion.

Amy -
I haven't read "The Host" but I have read many postings where people didn't like it as much as her "Twilight" series.

[marita]

James Lilek's "Gallery of Regrettable Food"- copies of cookbook pics from cookbooks in the 60's and 70's. (my favorite was the hotdog weiners covered in aspic and bound together w/ something that looks like raffia.) His comments are crying in the book funny. His desecrations of decorating from the 70's also ensues hiarity. Janet Evanovich- crappy plot lines, but hilarious characters and FFUUNNNNNYY! She is one don't- drink- while- you- read- lest- said- liquid- shall- come- flying- out- your- nose- as you read, author. (not to suck up, but she reminds me of you!) I mean in the funny way, NOT the crappy plot-line way.

[Amy]

Has anyone read "The Host" by Stephanie Meyer? I'm wondering if I should try it. I loved Twilight, probably a member of OCD. Thanks.

[Elisa]

I haven't read Twilight yet, though I have read plenty about it on Entertainment Weekly.

I can't believe anyone would blame their friend and call them "creepy pedophile" for being spellbound by is by all accounts a very charming, very good looking vampire. Granted, he is 17 in the book but come on, vampires are sexy! Plus they don't age so he is probably centuries old and only looks 17. Ok, that would be a bit creepy. But still.

I LOVE the Bloggess. She is the best blogger ever.

[Nicole]

Let us know what you think of Twilight. I have banned it from my reading list because after my creepy pedophile friend read it she was in love with the main character. If you say it is good, I may try it... since I am a sheep and you are my kind of crazy, not hers.

Also, my husband and I ARE OBSESSED with Swingtown. It reminds me of the Wonder Years for some reason. I love the depth of the characters. My husband idolizes Tom and his shirts.

[Valorie]

Just wanted to recommend a book; "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho - it's not a book I would have ever chosen on my own but it made it to the list of my book club (the Princess Readers) for this month and I loved, loved, LOVED it! I finished it in about 4 hours.

I just finished "Bright Lights, Big Ass" today. After reading several passages to my beloved husband (a.k.a Butthead) who is also a Boilermaker - class of '89 - he started reading it this afternoon when I picked up "Such a Pretty Fat" and thinks we (you and I Jen) may be twins separated at birth!

Keep up the good work!

Valorie

P.S. - I didn't recommend any TV shows because I am mostly hooked on the Home improvement and Food channels but hubby seems to enjoy "House". I do enjoy TLC's "John & Kate plus 8" - it's fun to watch them suffer!

[Jane]

I read that CBS is cancelling SWINGTOWN!!! That would suck big time! I love that show!

[Heather]

Oh honey, TRUST ME!!!! They kept you away from the scary parts of Oakland. Murders and robberies GALORE!!! The world's general impression of Oakland is accurate. There just happen to be a couple nice, snooty, Range-Rover-ish, neighborhoods on the outskirts...closer to Berkeley. Where all the again, wealthy hippies live.

[Nicole]

I love all your book recommendations! I am half way through "Dear Neighbor, DROP DEAD" By Saralee Rosenberg and if it wasn't for the fact that I have to actually do work at my job, I would be finished today! It is right down your alley

[nicole]

OMG - you will LOOOOOOVE twilight! Its so addictive...I read all 4 books in a week. Can't wait to hear your review!!I heart Edward Cullen(and your new bathroom)!

[Erin]

The Book of Joe by Jonathan Tropper "It's a story about an author who wrote a novel trashing the town where he grew up and what happens when he finally returns to that town years later."

This is the same story line as the show October Road and I love this show. I will so be reading this book. Add this to you series DVR, you won't be sad.

[Michelledraga]

The Twilight series is absolutely amazing, even if it is written for young adults--I am obsessed with it! I guess that I have OCD too.

Another excellent read in vampire genre is "The Historian" by Elizabeth Kostova.

I am also a big fan of Emily Giffin's books--they're chick literature, not just lit.

[Emily]

I totally am against Oprah's book club but I received Pillars of the Earth for a birthday gift and it's a good book.
Also, love the Twilight books. The Southern Vampire series is amazing as well. I've read every book twice. Another vampire series that was recommended by me was by an author named J.R. Ward. Also just read Certain Girls by Jennifer Weiner. That was a good quick read as well.

[Lizzie]

Can't get enough Jules Asner? Then you need a well timed bout of insomnia because she is all over the TV in the wee informercial laden hours of the morning. She is the host of the pricipal secret, which is the same line Victoria Principal has been shilling for decades now.

[Meghan]

Oh man...I read Twilight on Thursday (the 4th) and I just loved it so much I'm already almost done with Breaking Dawn. I didnt think i was capable of reading 4 books in 6 days but I just can't put them down. Its addictive and just SO good! Hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

[april]

Great list of recommendations! Hopefully they'll tide us over til your next book is out.

Wonder if "Book of Joe" is related to the show October Road. Same concept.

LOVE Swingtown. Bummed about all the rumors that it may be getting pulled.

[jake the girl]

Thanks for the shout-out! Funny story: (by the way, this is Jake, the Events girl from Great Good Place for Books) Doreen Orion did a reading with us a little after your event, and I'm almost positive that I made her take YOUR book home. Haha.

[Lisel]

UGH. I HATE Twilight. I would recommend the Sookie Stackhouse books by Charlaine Harris. The first one is "Dead Until Dark." They are absolutely fantastic and hilarious.

They even have made a HBO series out of it called True Blood. Lots of sex and Anna Paquin. :D It just started so it would be easy to get into even if you havent read the books.

[Cheryl]

Someone already recommended House for TV shows so I don't wanna repeat. Are you into America's Next Top Model this season? first trans-gendered contestant, very forward-thinking of Tyra

Great Blog to check-out:
http://fourfour.typepad.com/
His cat Winston is sort of an internet super-star if you check out sites like Cuteoverload. He does the BEST ANTM recaps and his other writing is kick butt too! (if it helps he's very good friends with Tracie from Jezebel who I'm positive I've seen you mention in past posts)

[Stepheney]

Okay, I had to stop reading mid-post because I have to tell you that if you don't like Stephenie Meyer's Twilight Saga, then it's fine, you'll be bombarded with tons of hate mail from other people, but I will still love your blog and your books.

But seriously........those books.........I'm completely addicted. I've read each one at least three times (and yes, that means the one that came out Aug. 2nd). The second and the third were my least favorite of the four (which, btw, you need to get the entire series because once you finish "Twilight" there will be NOTHING on your radar except more Edward and Bella), but they are getting better every time I re-read them.

So.........happy reading. And seriously, unless you want to completely block the entire world out until there is nothing left but the Cullens; save "Twilight" until you've got time to burn because once you've started - you may never stop.

And let me know if you have any questions because like I said I have serious OCD (obsessive Cullen disorder - I totally stole that from some girl interviewed at Comicon).

Okay now back to the rest of your post.....

[Rachel]

Love the bathroom!! Great Post-it Note!!

Can't wait to add these to the "to-read" list! I spend more money at Amazon than I know what to do with but oh well I think it's worth it!!

I will 2nd "Sundays at Tiffanys" by James Patterson - what a great quick read! Will also recommend "Suzanne's Diary to Nicholas" by him - what an awesome love story!!

TV - I love House as well and am a huge fan of Rescue Me (which isnt coming back til next year boo!)