And I Didn't Mention Spy Kids, Either

First, a word from Stacey:

Dear Friends and Fans (Frans?) of Jen -
 
I am touched, humbled, and so very very grateful for your voting for me and my little cocktail.  (and yes, Jen knows that I fully intend to give her and you all the credit if I get the trip, and that she can request I deliver Mionetini’s to her whenever she likes for the rest of her natural life!)  I have had the good fortune to meet some of you at Jen’s events, and I am always struck by what a truly fun, warm, smart group you are.  Which doesn’t really surprise me, since like attracts like, and Jen is a major source of light in my universe and I am daily glad to have her in my life, so it goes to follow that her Frans are a group I would be damn lucky to know and raise a glass with.
 
I will be waiting until the whole thing is over to post the article as promised, in part because the outcome will affect the ending which I will need to rewrite as a result of your amazing generosity. 
 
In the meantime, I wanted to make sure that I acknowledged you all…and that includes those of you who haven’t yet voted, I thank you in advance for your support.  My mom would probably prefer that I send you all individual thank you notes on decent stationary, but as I do not have your addresses, I hope you will forgive me that little bit of etiquette.  However, if you go to my website, www.staceyballis.com and send me a note via the Contact page, you will at least have your personalized e-mail asap.   
 
(and I should say, in the spirit of sportsmanship, if you scroll down the list and see a cocktail you think is tastier sounding than mine, do feel free to vote for them instead…)
 
FYI:  grains of paradise, really cool African pepper, less bite than black pepper with hints of floral and citrus notes and really yummy on salads.  You can get it here:  www.thespicehouse.com
 
Elderflower liqueur:  St. Germain  (about $28 a bottle, but it is a beautiful bottle!)
 
I send you all deep thanks, and will keep you posted!
 
Rock the Vote.
 
Biglove, 
Stacey

* * *

By the way, if you host an '80's party, talk to Stacey and she'll give you a blueprint for exactly how to do it.  For my party, she nailed the smallest details like suggesting I serve Razzles on the buffet and play movies such as Lost Boys and Labyrinth on the TVs in the background.  Fortunately, she even came early to help set up.  However, I did lose twenty minutes of valuable prep time gawping at her level of authenticity.  Observe:

 

And, yeah, that IS an original Hands Across America pin.  (Not pictured: hot pink tights and Pumas.)  She even ordered shoulder pads and baby-blue mascara online.

We were all duly awed. 

When she was leaving her house, she ran into her neighbor who before she turned around said, "Hey, where are you going all dressed up for... (long, awkward pause) the eighties?"  My sole disappointment is that she didn't respond, "Where I'm going, we don't need any roads." 

(Award yourself ten points if you got the Back to the Future reference.)

(Which she also has in her video library, along with Lost Boys and Labyrinth.)

ANYWAY, before Stacey decided to write full time she was Education Director at the Goodman Theatre.  What this means now is she gets free tickets to every opening night.  This week her date had to cancel last minute so she invited me to see the Eugene O'Neill play Desire Under the Elms starring Brian Dennehy and Carla Gugino.  I said yes with the caveat that no one would get naked on stage, unlike the last time I went out to get a little culture with her.

Technically, this time no one got naked... instead, two people stripped.  TWO!  However, they weren't wrapped in enormous sheets of dry-cleaning film, nor were they dropping plastic babies out of their dresses or wearing gas masks so the nudity made sense within the context of the show.  Also, Dennehy kept his pants on the whole time.  That was nice.

Because of Stacey's connections, we were invited to the cast party afterward, meaning I got to meet the stars.  Some of you may be aware of my level of social retardation and had I blurted, "I loved you as Big Tom Callahan!" upon meeting Dennehy, I doubt anyone would be surprised... but I didn't.  Yay, me!  Who says I no longer show personal growth on this blog? 

(I mean, other than the ex-fan who emailed me to say this yesterday.) 

(My friend Texie who's been reading my blog since 2003 was all, "Did it ever?")

I also managed not to bring up the Pauly Shore connection when I met Gugino.  Somehow mentioning Son in Law seemed wrong after she'd given the performance of a lifetime on one of the most prestigious stages in the world.  I'd count this in the win column except I kind of spent too much time grilling her on the wig she wore on stage.  Pretty much our conversation consisted of me sputtering and sweating Sauvignon Blanc, saying:

"Hey!  That wasn't your real hair.  It really looked like your real hair.  Your own hair is dark.  I almost missed saying hi to you because you look different with your real hair.  Hey, that is your real hair, right?  It's way darker than I thought.  I went dark now, too.  Not as dark as you though.  Yours is super dark.  Like, black.  Inky black.  Super black.  Tar black.  But good, you know?  I like it.  Black is the new black, ha ha!  The dark is nice, but the wig was also nice.  Didn't your hair used to be the color of your wig?  You know, you could kind of look at the play from your wig's perspective.  I mean, your 'do told a story.  First it was all tight and rolled, and then it got sort of loose and then it got all messy and then-"

At this point Stacey noticed she was making scaredy-get-this-weirdo-away-from-me-eyes so Stacey explained that we had to go.  I shook Gugino's hand and was summarily yanked away before I could lay a paw on her hair.  

Which is probably for the best.   

As we were walking to the car, I said to Stacey, "So I guess I had a fifty percent success ratio at the party.  Gugino thinks I'm bugfuck crazy - with a possible wig fetish - but I didn't embarrass myself in front of Dennehy. "

Stacey looked thoughtful and replied, "Yeah, but if this evening were baseball, you'd be batting .500.  That's an excellent statistic.  Good job!"

And that's precisely why I adore her.

Thanks again for your vote!

Comments

[Texie]

Awww, that's so sweet of Stacey.

Oh snap, I got name-dropped!

[Tammy]

OK good crack at the 80's but sorry, what about the hair - NO where near BIG enough!

[MZA]

Do I smell Aquanet?

[Suzy Q]

I don't care about the story. I want Stacey to come to Miami and make me a Mionetini. STAT!

[Sharon]

I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry at Stacy's outfit. Sadly, I can totally relate.

[Kimberley]

Just the fact that you taught me a new phrase..."bugfuck crazy" made my entire
day!!

[*gemmifer*]

It sounds like you had a case of what my sixth grade teacher called "verbal diarrhea". And we know he was talking about me. I have been afflicted by this condition my entire life, but I'm okay with it. I think it's better to speak up and say something silly then be too afraid to say anything at all. You would have regretted not speaking to Carla Gugino, wouldn't you?

[Kelly]

I voted for Stacey as her recipe looked like the yummiest on the page.

Now that I've seen your post on 80's parties, I'm dying to have one! It looks like so much fun and my friends are always teasing me for knowing every pop culture reference from the 80's. (Hey, who hasn't wasted an entire weekend watching VH1's "I Love the 80's"? It's like TV's black hole!)

As for your chat with Ms. Gugino, well, at least she didn't push you away and run. If get-away-looney-tune eyes was all she did, then I think you can bump up the batting average!

[Kate]

I got the Back to the Future triology on DVD for Christmas a couple of years ago and it was the highlight of my year. No lie.

[Erin]

Bugfuck is officially going to replace Batshit in my vocabulary!

[Erin]

I've been wanting Razzles since watching 13 Going on 30...where the hell do you get them?

[Emily]

Wow Stacey, you are really wanting me to dress even more 80's than I do now, since I am all over the skinny jeans right now.

And Jen, what would life be for you without babbling psychotically in front of a famous person? Boring for both of us!

[Christine]

Random piece of trivia:

Dennehy dated Martha Stewart. They were both stock brokers.

Ta da!

[Domestic Goddess (In Training)]

That pic was nothing short of RAD!!!!

[Sheri]

Do we get extra points if we actually did the Hands Across America thing/???

[Lori]

Now that's what I call logic!

I love it!

[Contessa of Coffee]

I know this is not related to your post,but I just got to courage to ask and I'll kick myself if I don't. It would be soooo wonderful if you could maybe come to Memphis,TN on your book tour. My best friend & I think you are wonderful & she can't travel for more than 20 minutes at a time due to a serious back injury, but I think it would make her year if she could meet you in person. Your books and blog provide her with much needed laughter. I don't mean that to get sympathy,because she would totally kill me if those were my intentions. She is one of the strongest people I know. Plus, I would love to have a cocktail w/the woman that makes coke shoot outta my nose from laughing b/c I identify with her. Anyway, just a thought that I hope is a possibility.
Thanks for the laughs and the inspiration. Congrats too, on the .500 batting average!

[Kellee]

Love, love, LOVE Stacey's outfit! I am sure the party like TOTALLY rocked!

One year for Halloween at my daughter's school (she was in 1st grade) I dressed as "the spirit of the 80's). I wore my neon green sweater (alas, I could only locate one of the matching kitten heel pumps :( ) and donned all the buttons I could find (numbering in the dozens) and wore my denim jacket & my Coca-Cola sunglasses. I accessorized with the matching neon green lace hair bow & fingerless lace gloves.

The children were properly impressed. Of course they were 1st & second graders, so...

Unfortunately by then I had gotten rid of my fine collection of Coca-Cola rugby shirts & sweaters (I think my mother and grandmother bought me one of each style made!)

Congrats to Stacey. I am going to have to track the ingredients and make myself one to try it. We have a kick-ass store near here called Jungle Jim's in Fairfield OH http://www.junglejims.com/ . I am sure they carry everything I will need for it.

BTW Jen, when you come to Cincinnati you should totally make the trip to Fairfield and visit Jungle's - it is the most awesome grocery store EVER. Especially when you consider the entrance to the restrooms looks like you are entering a porta-potty!!!

TTFN!!!!

[Jodie]

LOVE the blue eyeshadow! We have a yearly 80's party at our house, it follows the white trash party and a lot of outfits are recycled (i.e., my husband's mullet hat, with the hair sewn in the back of a lynard skynard baseball cap).

Really hoping you would have worn the capris!

LOVE your blog....

that is all.

[Jayson]

Here is a blog I found that I think you may like: The Minister of Common Sense (http://theministerofcommonsense.blogspot.com/) it's plenty bitter and witty!

[Nina]

At this 80's party, did you wear your stone-washed-butterly-applique-jean capris? Please say yes.

[Manic Mommy]

And THAT is what great friends is all about!

[Jessi]

Stacey is rocking the vote!

Also, weird 6 degrees of seperation, I know B.Den's lovely daughter. So that pretty much means you and I are bff's. ;)

Just finishing reading Bright Lights, and I'm SO glad I'm not the only one that has a dog that smells like Fritos.

[Sara]

Razzles!! First it's candy then it's gum! LOVE those. They're like magic candy.

[wendy]

I just read your entire book in one day (granted there was 7 hours of flying) and a)I think we may be the same person, b) You are extremely talented, c) I can't wait to buy your other two books and read them and d) I'm adding you to my blog roll therefore making it much easier for me to blog-stalk you.

:)

[aurora]

Those weren't puppets! They were Muppets! They were just different. Kind of like Fraggles on Wasabi Peas.

Stacey looks 80's fab.

[Maureen]

Labyrinth! Fabulous movie! Starring David Bowie as the sexually ambiguous Goblin King and lots of creepy puppet people.

Did you, by any chance, also show Teen Witch and Can't Buy Me Love?

[Melissa]

I'd rather embarass myself in front of Carla Gugino than Brian Dennehy. Carla, while adorable, seems fairly harmless while B.Den (as his friends like to call him) looks like he could eff a bee up (so sanitized!) if you started prattling on about his wig. All told, I think you netted in the positive here, Jen!

Re: Stacey's outfit - I think what's really doing it for me is the faux-snakeskin-esque button up top. That such a thing exists in this world not only blows my mind but also makes me simultaneously happy that we are as far away from that decade as possible right now.

Although, I do miss jelly shoes and hypercolour shirts...

[MazingAmy]

Jen, I adore you. But you know that already. hee hee

[Parsing Nonsense]

Honestly, if I were Gugino I'd probably appreciate that something so little about my performance as my hair made such an impact. But that's probably because it's the same kind of thing I'd notice.

Is Dennehy as nice in person as he seems? He seems like he'd give great hugs.

[Kim]

Awesome letter from stacey. I tried it today (after hunting down GOP) and it was delicious!

Also, since we are talking about top chef, this year's restaurant wars sucked. Gah, Leah needs to GO!

[Kimmers]

Damn, Stacey is kicking ass with that drink!!

That is one awesome 80s outfit she's rockin' for your party. All she's missing is a slap bracelet.

[Jen]

I admire your restraint. I can just hear myself saying 'You can get a good look at a T-Bone by stickin' your head up a bull's ass...' to Dennehy.

Did you happen to see the interview on People.com in which Jeff from Top Chef said the show portrayed him as a sex object? Um...what?

[Amanda]

Stacey has the most votes! I wonder how Deborah Biggs is going to have her friends vote? Either way, the votes will be split because she has 20 drinks listed! Good Job Stacey for only submiting 1 great recipe rather than 20 mediocore recipes!