I received a pair of denim Capris yesterday.
They are stonewashed.
They are five sizes too small.
They are covered in butterfly appliques.
They are proof that if I can't sleep, I should have warm milk and not an Ambien with a Sauvignon Blanc chaser.
(They are getting returned.)
I did an Ambien with a Chardonnay chaser the other night too! I decided to lie down once the dizziness hit. hee hee
Posted by: Kitten | January 08, 2009 at 09:17 AM
Last month my doctor tried to prescribe ambien for my insomnia. When I told her that ambien causes me to wake up with a whole bed full of half-eaten cupcakes and a glass full bbq sauce, she was shocked. She said I was the first person she had met that had the sleep eating issue while on the drug. REALLY?
Posted by: Kimberly | January 08, 2009 at 05:56 AM
We absolutely need a picture of these capris! Love my Ambien - usually use a hard cider chaser though:) I was always a sleepwalker (sleep shower-taker, sleep-roaming-the-dorm- halls-walker, etc.) but all that stopped when I started Ambien! Works like a charm for me:)
Posted by: Betsy | January 07, 2009 at 04:25 PM
OMG – I actually mourned the 80’s. Had a really tough time with the whole 90’s grunge look and what I called “Prozac rock” (it was so depressing after the happy 80’s music and preppy clothes). Even though I’m almost 41, I still miss the big hair. Since I live in the south, I could still do big hair (wisely I do not). It took me years to give up my beloved Aqua Net (that stuff can hold anything!)
On the Ambien front – I took that stuff and didn’t wake up for 2 days – at least I don’t think I did…?
Posted by: Sheila | January 07, 2009 at 01:52 PM
I went to the grocery store after taking Ambien last night. (Don't worry- my fiance drove). We went for pork chops- $97.17 later, we forgot the pork chops.
I have no idea what we did buy, come to think of it.
Posted by: Erin | January 07, 2009 at 11:19 AM
The other day, my husband and I were a toy store and we kept passing those Barbies that are only giant heads. I started laughing. When my husband looked at me funny, I said, " Remember when Jen sent herself all those big giant Barbie heads after taking Ambien?"
Husband: Who's Jen?
Me: You know, Jen. The one that wrote Bit...
Husband: Wait, wait, wait...are you really telling me a story about a girl whose blog you read? Do you think you're really friends?
Me: well, no. But...
I'm keeping the pants story to myself.
Posted by: lackadaisical | January 07, 2009 at 11:16 AM
Ahhh, Ambien...I have shopped ($300 dress from Nordstrom -- free returns, yea!) and found an entire large Tupperware bowl of mashed potatoes myteriously gone! The kicker...my lovely husband coming downstairs, kissing me on the cheek and saying, "wow, last night was great!" Luckily he didn't notice the completely clueless look on my face!!!
Posted by: Deb | January 07, 2009 at 09:57 AM
I hate that ambien stuff. I used it for like 2 nights and got NO sleep because they agitated me. I'm more than willing to send you the remainder of my script if you have a little more post holiday surprise shopping you'd like to get done. I'm sure that, somewhere on the internet, there is a Forenza shaker sweater that you could wear backwards and pair with those jeans. Think of the envious looks you could get at your next college Homecoming Game!
Posted by: DodiM | January 07, 2009 at 09:21 AM
"be careful- I've actually seen the old mc hammer pants in stores recently"
Hammer pants? Try stirrup pants. They recently appeared in a Teen Vogue issue (coupled with 4 inch heels) under the heading of "What to wear for petites". My 15 year old daughter fell in love with them!!!
I'm just waiting for her to put aside the Chi, allow her natural curls to spiral down her back and around her face, then ask (with can of Aussie Freeze in hand) "Are my bangs high enough?". To which I will reply: "My baby, you are so pretty in pink."
Gawd, I'm sooo old!
Posted by: bayoutehce | January 07, 2009 at 12:19 AM
To GiGi: You dont have any of those Red Cross donation bins around town you could ditch you yeti-vest in? They dont monitor them. I've checked.
I guess since I wasnt around to expirience 80s fashion is why i kinda like it a little bit? While I dont have some of the more extreme styles(skinny jeans?on my chunky ass? no thanks) I have a pair of light acid washed flares with an embrioded butterfly on the thigh sprinkled with gem stones. I also own 3 pairs of converse hi-tops. I should be ashamed shouldnt I?
Posted by: Andrea Aphrodesiac | January 06, 2009 at 11:48 PM
BeDazzle them. Nothing like living in the 80's. :0)
Posted by: Kristin | January 06, 2009 at 10:32 PM
be careful- I've actually seen the old mc hammer pants in stores recently.... I'm not sure who is trying to bring all these horrid looks back, but enough already!
Posted by: lindsay | January 06, 2009 at 10:28 PM
80's Party? You must visit the following link:
http://www.themollyringwalds.com/
Born and raised in N'Awlins, ya'll! Enjoy!
Posted by: bayoutehce | January 06, 2009 at 07:56 PM
PICTURE!!! WE NEED A PICTURE!!!!
Posted by: Sissa | January 06, 2009 at 07:36 PM
Pinot Noir + Ambien = zzzzzzzzzzzzz's
Posted by: Ilana S. Houten | January 06, 2009 at 07:24 PM
getting ready for spring, huh?!?
Posted by: stephanie | January 06, 2009 at 06:52 PM
My bitchy sister gave me a white Yeti fur venus de milo vest for Christmas that I think would look lovely with your capris. I tried to give it away to charity but they reminded me that they have standards too and gave it back.
Posted by: Gigi | January 06, 2009 at 06:00 PM
For me I would have to have a Bermuda handbag with monogram of course, headbands in every color, and of course my official Preppy Handbook. My closet in the 80's was a ode' to Muffy. Lots of plaid and lots of pink and green with little alligators. But being from NJ..you would also need to include for some as a favor for this "keen" (used that word lots in high school) party...cans of hairspray. Jersey Girls go very high with the hair...in fact you still can still find those girls up north.
Posted by: Sheri | January 06, 2009 at 05:27 PM
I don't need a photo to picture the "rad" stonewashed appearance of these flashy capris! Seriously though, what kind of place sells this stuff?! (and perhaps more importantly, what prompted someone to give them to you?!) haha
Posted by: Abby | January 06, 2009 at 04:41 PM
Perhaps you should invest in a breathalyzer to hook up to your computer....I need one for my cell phone. Thank God the last time I drunk dialed my Dad my equally drunk Step-Mother answered. We laughed the next day!!
Posted by: caribbeansue | January 06, 2009 at 03:42 PM
Who doesn't chase their ambien with sav blanc?
Posted by: Kerry | January 06, 2009 at 03:37 PM
No Candies?
Posted by: Terry from Mass. | January 06, 2009 at 03:11 PM
Oh come on Jen, you know you secretly want to wear those stonewashed butterfly appliqued denim capris with a neon t shirt and side ponytail and brightly colored scrunchy socks.
Posted by: MazingAmy | January 06, 2009 at 02:53 PM
I bet you found them at your mom's house in your old closet...
Posted by: Kati | January 06, 2009 at 12:57 PM
I always tend to have what my bf calls "storytime" on Ambiene. No odd shopping habits... yet.
Posted by: Megan | January 06, 2009 at 12:54 PM
Jen... step away from the ambien.... sweetie, isn't it time you lay off the wine after self-medicating?
(Though I like the hilarious sleep-shopping you do!)
Posted by: Emily | January 06, 2009 at 12:53 PM
Pics! At least shopping under the influence can be returned!
Posted by: Frances | January 06, 2009 at 12:46 PM
You may be as afraid as I was that according to the February issue of Lucky magazine, acid washed jeans are supposedly coming back into style. *shudder* The horror, the horror...
Posted by: jenniferz | January 06, 2009 at 12:39 PM
Maybe you bought them for the Barbie head? Are they Nancy Sinatra-inspired? Maybe Barbie wants to be Mariah Carey?
Whatever the case, thanks for the laugh!
Posted by: Shannon | January 06, 2009 at 12:15 PM
I thought you were over Ambien and late night shopping. Please return. But please take pictures as to you fashion faux paux.
Posted by: Kristen | January 06, 2009 at 12:11 PM
Perhaps its time to switch to a different sleep med, like Lunesta. All the sleepy goodness without the risk of someone finding you at 3AM talking to the oven (which did actually happen to a friend).
Posted by: tutugirl1345 | January 06, 2009 at 11:57 AM
I miss the Barbie Heads...they're more useful them capri pants
Posted by: cheryl | January 06, 2009 at 11:50 AM
Can you please try mixing something less lethal, like Benedryl & a boaring book to help you sleep? We love your books and don't want to have to find another blogess & author because of an Ambien incident. Think Heath Ledger.
Posted by: Kim M. | January 06, 2009 at 11:48 AM
Oops, that should be, "I have a Benetton rugby shirt if you want one."
I blame the Simply Sleep (Tylenol PM w/o the Tylenol, I don't believe in taking unecessary drugs.) with a chardonnay chaser(s) from last night.
Posted by: Martha | January 06, 2009 at 11:45 AM
there are actual stores that carry stonewashed capris?
Say it isn;t so!
I must add that you have a very fun/interesting life while under the influence!
Posted by: sue Treiber | January 06, 2009 at 11:45 AM
If you paired them with one of those tazmanian devil shirts that says "i dont' need your attitude I have my own" You could revive the white trash look of the 90's...
Posted by: aubree | January 06, 2009 at 11:41 AM
I have a Benetton rugby shirt if you one!
Posted by: Martha | January 06, 2009 at 11:41 AM
What kind of footwear goes with such a thing? I would say a strappy sandal to show off the capri length, but then again, you don't want to distract from that applique!!!
Posted by: Domestic Goddess (In Training) | January 06, 2009 at 11:40 AM
I've always found my Ambiem to be a red wine accompaniment. And definitely not a sign of having a major drinking problem :-)
Posted by: Holly | January 06, 2009 at 11:39 AM
For me, it was all about the hair. Big Hair. Bigger Hair Bows.
All I can say is: thank GAWD you can't get a perm while under the influence of Ambien.
Posted by: Rose | January 06, 2009 at 11:38 AM
First the barbie heads, now applique jeans? I think you better re-think the Ambien/wine strategy.
Posted by: Suzanne | January 06, 2009 at 11:34 AM
3 glasses of wine and I'm down for the count.
Oh how I miss sparkly kitten t-shirts!
Posted by: Tricia | January 06, 2009 at 11:30 AM
Were there matching legwarmers available?
Posted by: La Principessa | January 06, 2009 at 11:29 AM
I think it's unanimous...we need a picture!
We won't even ask you to model them. Actually, I think what would be better is a sketch of what you saw this looking like on you when you placed said order. I bet you were all like, "I'm gonna look fiiine!"
Posted by: Kimberley | January 06, 2009 at 11:27 AM
I'm finally copping to my 80's addiction.
I have freshly-knit legwarmers to go with my red hi-top Reeboks & stonewashed jeans. And I love my single-shoulder sweater that's long enough to hide my behind.
Yeah, I wear this in public. Long live the 80's!
Posted by: Kristine M. | January 06, 2009 at 11:27 AM
If you hang on to them I'm sure they'll fit by next week.
Posted by: Twenty Four At Heart | January 06, 2009 at 11:15 AM
I'm jealous ;-) All you need is a little neon (maybe the socks) and slip-on Keds! Maybe that's what's coming next.
Posted by: JennD | January 06, 2009 at 11:12 AM
I think I had a daughter JUST so I had an excuse to buy/order articles of clothing decorated with sparkles and butterflies.
What I really miss is fashion that allowed shirts to fall to mid-thigh that cover the ass-region. Soo not fair...I didn't need it THEN!
Posted by: Autumn | January 06, 2009 at 11:09 AM
I didn't think they made stuff like that in Juniors sizes anymore. But for us big girls -- applique city baby!
Next time, go nautical!
Posted by: MZA | January 06, 2009 at 11:03 AM
Tylenol PM with a plain old burgandy chaser is equally dangerous - I drunk dial my boyfriend, but instead of making stupid fart jokes and laughing like a 12 year old boy, I try to hold a serious conversation and then don't remember a damn thing the next morning.
Posted by: KiMini | January 06, 2009 at 10:59 AM