Last night, before bed but after the Ambien kicked in, I thought about what Presidents Day might be like for Barack Obama. Is it like a birthday? Will he get presents? And I wonder if all his friends are blowing up his BlackBerry today being all, "Happy YOUR Day!" (If I had his number I'd totally call.)
I hope someone had the forethought to bake him something; this seems like the kind of day that would merit a lovely cake.
If I were him, I'd probably spend the day somewhere crowded like Times Square or the Las Vegas strip, and I'd drape myself in an American flag and a stovepipe hat and I'd swill a footlong margarita, demanding all passersby, "Kiss me! It's MY day!"
Then again, that's probably why I'm not President.
Are you kidding? When I think of ideal presidential candidates, all I see is giant margaritas and stove-pipe hats!
Posted by: Parsing Nonsense | February 17, 2009 at 02:40 PM
I hope Barack had a fabulous cupcake or something of that sort. Agree, just seems appropriate.
Posted by: LJ | February 17, 2009 at 11:51 AM
...just in case your all 'WTF?' about the congrats, I meant that for your new projects post. lol
Giant hangover quelling bloody mary + laptop = no real sense being made (unless of course your me.)
Posted by: cornishgirl | February 17, 2009 at 10:51 AM
That is PRECISELY why, should you ever run for President, that my vote would be solidly yours. As a sidenote, I'd totally head your campaign if there were free drinks. ;)
Congrats, girl!
Posted by: cornishgirl | February 17, 2009 at 10:47 AM
He could toss out to the crowds those "lovely" commemorative coins with his face on them I keep seeing advertised on late night tv......ya know.......to spend and help give the economy a boost.
Posted by: Lisa Johnson | February 17, 2009 at 10:12 AM
Congrats on the new book deal. I'm very happy for you as well as for me getting to read more of your stories.
When the time comes to do research for the charitable organizations, I've got one for you that (I think) would be funny to see how you approach it.
Posted by: Ritz | February 17, 2009 at 07:20 AM
too funny, Last night dh was complaining that he had not signed "the stimulus bill" too which i replied "give him a break today is "his day" " he found no humor in that !
Posted by: monica in raleigh | February 17, 2009 at 06:58 AM
I read your blog religiously and am pretty sure this is your best post yet. Can't wait for the new book!
Posted by: Jessica Rogers | February 17, 2009 at 02:41 AM
ok, see, postings like this are why i, a stanuch liberal (ok...i'm a pinko socialist, but what's the dif these days?, can overlook your voting patterns. light hearted and laugh out loud funny! if only this was the political dialouge in this country all the time, wouldn't the world be a better place. and congrats on the big, new book deal. you deserve it, as your book are insanely funny and you're one of the few authors whose books i buy as opposed to getting them from the library that is convientely located across the street from my house. so, in short, jen, you rock and happy president's day!
Posted by: packofpoodles | February 16, 2009 at 10:11 PM
Some President's Day cakes, per your request. I can't vouch for the quality, as this blog is named Cake Wrecks
http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2009/02/its-form-of-flattery-honest.html
Posted by: Stewardess | February 16, 2009 at 06:52 PM
I thought President's Day only honored Washington and Lincoln's birthdays since they're close together and they were the bigger whup of the 44?
Which, if they were still alive, would suck. Like those poor saps who had the unfortunate luck to be born too close to Christmas to warrant two separate celebrations.
Posted by: Kuj | February 16, 2009 at 06:32 PM
Aww man - I tried to comment on the Big Willie Style Pic but comments are closed so I am cheating and getting it in here.
I. Think. That's. My. Boss.
Seriously.
I work for one of THOSE.
Posted by: Jennifer St john | February 16, 2009 at 05:39 PM
Quote: "even though i think you're governor of jennsylvania?"
Wait. What? She's not?
MUAH HA HA HA
Posted by: Jennifer St john | February 16, 2009 at 05:35 PM
I'm sure the pastry chef at the White House (you know, the dude that makes that great gingerbread house each year?) has it totally under control.
Posted by: Lazy Mom Leslie | February 16, 2009 at 04:46 PM
congrads on your new books-i really loved Bitter-one of my all time favorites
Posted by: karen | February 16, 2009 at 04:12 PM
"I WISH it was a 3-day weekend. My CEO would probably make us work on Christmas Day if he thought he could get away with it."
Shut up! We must work for the same person.
Posted by: Dee | February 16, 2009 at 03:55 PM
Forget the hat, just carry the Barbie head...and make people kiss that.
I'd totally vote for you!
Posted by: Sheri | February 16, 2009 at 03:22 PM
Ha ha ha. Oh, I hope he does.
Posted by: Lydia | February 16, 2009 at 02:36 PM
you need that shirt that says:
"I'm kind of a BIG deal!"
Congrats to you...I will be reading everything! Can't wait.
Posted by: somedayme2 | February 16, 2009 at 02:26 PM
Congrats on the book deal! You are my literary hero no joke!
Posted by: Maggie Kampton | February 16, 2009 at 01:53 PM
you should do that anyway.
it's totally worth it.
and if people are like "wtf you're not president" be like
fuck off, i'm the president of jennsylvania.
even though i think you're governor of jennsylvania?
Posted by: kylie | February 16, 2009 at 01:10 PM
Holy shit! You'll never believe this, but I wondered the exact same thing last night! Only my Ambien had already kicked in so I thought that he should get his toast with a candle stuck in it and everyone in the office should have to make him a card and stick it in the decorated shoebox on his desk.
Posted by: MonsteRawr | February 16, 2009 at 12:16 PM
Three-day weekend my foot. I'm at work. But enjoy your day off!
Posted by: Jeannine de Richemond | February 16, 2009 at 11:59 AM
are you sure this was BEFORE the Ambien kicked in??? ;)
Posted by: amberzlosinit | February 16, 2009 at 11:25 AM
When is Princess Day? That's MY day! If it doesn't exist, I will institute it in the name of all women who deserve cake and fizzy cocktails and aren't presidents.
My thoughts? Prez Obama will have his own national holiday soon enough, but if he were to drape himself in an American flag (guffaw) and be photographed drinking a foot-long margarita (snort) - it's the best reason for him to have just that. (To my twisted logic, that is.)
Posted by: Autumn | February 16, 2009 at 11:00 AM
haha you crack me up!! i also tagged you in a blog...
http://gumshoeing.blogspot.com/2009/02/blog-awards-and-other-cool-shit.html
Posted by: Private Eyes | February 16, 2009 at 11:00 AM
Actually, that's how I'm now going to spend my birthday...that sounds AWESOME! Hopefully, he does at least get a lovely cake.
Posted by: Amy | February 16, 2009 at 10:59 AM
Whenever mother's day comes around, my kids always complained that there was no Kid's Day. I said, Everyday is kid's day!
So I'm sure for the last few weeks and for the next few years, Obama is thinking, "Everyday is President's Day!" as he fist bumps the secret service guards.
Posted by: Chris | February 16, 2009 at 10:52 AM
I'm stuck at work today and should have cake, damn it.
Posted by: Maryann | February 16, 2009 at 09:59 AM
So, I thought that Obama would love your post and I took the liberty of emailing him and wishing him a happy day and hoping someone baked him a cake. I put in a link to your post so he could enjoy like the rest of us fortunate enough to be aware of your blog. I also pointed out that you were a fellow Chicagoan and that you had an idea for how he could spend his day- because cmon, wouldn't you love to see him actually wrapped in a flag with a foot long margarita? You crack me up as always! Keep it coming!
Posted by: Erin | February 16, 2009 at 09:53 AM
I WISH it was a 3-day weekend. My CEO would probably make us work on Christmas Day if he thought he could get away with it.
Posted by: kalisah | February 16, 2009 at 09:50 AM
Well, since I turned the big 4-0 yesterday, I'd like to spend President's Day nursing a big, bad hangover!
Instead, I am taking my three bone ankle fractured sister to the orthopedic!!!
Happy President's Day, Mr. President!
I, an Illinoian (sp?)have much to be thankful for on this day. Despite Bladgoyjevich (sp?) and Burris, we have someone to look up to!
Posted by: zil | February 16, 2009 at 09:39 AM
All brilliant ideas. I would give a kiss and take a piece of that cake too.
Posted by: Jen | February 16, 2009 at 09:38 AM
This was hilarious, Jen. Just because you're not the president doesn't mean people can't spend President's Day in such a fashion. I smell a new tradition...
Posted by: Tori | February 16, 2009 at 09:34 AM
I would want presents and lots of gift cards so I could go book shopping! I would have banners and pins made up with my picture on it, from a flattering angle of course, and everyone would congradulate me on looking so lovely on my day! OOOOH I go to the MAC counter and get a makeover b/c I want to look resplendent on my day.
Crap back to reality....it is so not my day!
Posted by: Mia | February 16, 2009 at 09:34 AM
Hahaha! I definitely needed this before my exam! Thank you!
(And yes, it's complete b***s*** that I have classes today, but unfortunately, as a student at an urban Atlanta school, the only obscure national holiday we get off is MLK Jr. Day. Hmpf...) Alright, off to class!
P.S. I love your books! They are my saving grace in a world of itty-bitty Bradshaw-obsessed sisters (sorority, not biological)! So, thank you, thank you, thank you! Keep 'em coming!
Posted by: Sara Stirne | February 16, 2009 at 09:32 AM
You're really describing your birthday every year, aren't you?
Posted by: tutugirl1345 | February 16, 2009 at 09:31 AM