I Was So Lucky Getting Mono. That Was, Like, The Best Diet Ever.

The big surprise - and it's not really even a surprise - is that the new book is a prequel to Bitter.  The bulk of it takes place in the 70's and 80's and it's super nostalgic, which is going to nicely tie into the theme of the tour events.  (Oh, wait.  I guess that's the surprise.  Shhh, you didn't hear it from me.)

While writing Pretty in Plaid, I spent a lot of time with my old yearbooks on display for inspiration.  As I listened to my favorite 80's tunes from Wham and Duran Duran and Culture Club, I pored over the faded pages, reliving every speech meet... every school play... every newspaper assignment... and all the other nerdy activities in which I was involved. 

In terms of my social standing, I turn to Milhouse in the Grade School Confidential episode of The Simpsons to best sum it up.  "Three and a half.  We get beat up, but we get an explanation." 

Granted, I was kind of a bitch back in the day, but mostly because I was A) terrified of garnering the attention/ire of the popular kids, and B) couldn't ever eat lunch, having derived the bulk of my self esteem from wedging myself into a pair of size five Jordache jeans. 

You guys?  A single grilled cheese sandwich could have been disastrous. 

So I'd say my low blood sugar was as much to blame as my aggressive-following personality. 

I may have been an ass in high school, but I was only an ass to those who posed a direct threat, e.g. in competition for boyfriends, a speech team rival, at the newspaper, etc.  I've never claimed to be a saint, but I was always empathetic.  I was absolutely, unapologetically mean to the play leads and the prom queens, yet I went out of my way to be kind to those people the popular kids shunned. 

You do not fuck with an underdog on my watch. 

If you wrote bad poetry on the knee of your jeans?  I was sweet to you. 

The boy-crazy boys?  We were BFF.

 Kids who received discounted lunch tickets?  Mock them and you had to answer to me.

Wore your saddle shoes and pleated cheerleading skirt on game days?  Bitch, you were going down.       

I guess that's why I was kind of floored to receive this note today, almost twenty-four years after high school graduation:

So my daughter calls me today and this was the conversation:

Daughter - Mom, I have a strange question
 
Mom - OK; what is it?
 
Daughter - Do you know a girl named Jennifer Lancaster?
 
Mom - Unfortunately yes, why do you ask?
 
Daughter - I had purchased a book and she made a reference to [our hometown] in 1985
 
Mom-  Unbelievable!
 
Daughter - Were you two friends?
 
Mom - Far from it.  I went to high school with her, church and spent two weeks at bible camp with her in the same cabin.  She made no hesitation in letting people know she did not like you.  She would giggle, point, comment on me whenever I went to church.  She was a person who I considered a snob and someone I would classify as being one of the girls on the movie "Mean Girls."  She was not a nice person.
 
Daughter - Oh sorry, I thought you two were friends.
 
Mom - Nope...What is her book about?
 
Daughter - About losing weight?
 
Mom - Hmmm.... (I'll keep the rest of my comments to myself)

How funny I thought that my daughter would end up purchasing a book written by someone who made a point to let me know she didn't like me.
 
Now my daughter is 19 and she has her own life and does what she wants.  But I will tell you this.. If I would have purchased the book and found out that you wrote it.. I would have asked for a refund.

Um, here's the thing... I HAVE NO IDEA WHO THIS PERSON IS.

I'm sitting here with my yearbook open and... yeah, I've got nothing.  We were enemies?  How could we be?  Her name rings no bells, nor does her face.  And I clearly remember who I didn't like in high school, having just written all those stories for this new book.  This girl is just, well, she's Ann Veal.  She's a blank slate.  She's got a low center of gravity.  You'd accidentally forget her in Mexico.  Under her picture it says "Not pictured."  (This will only be funny if you're an Arrested Development fan.) 

I mean, I feel bad that she's harbored a grudge against me all these years but, again, I HAVE NO CLUE WHO SHE IS.  If I recalled being a jerk, I'd apologize.  I don't want people mad at me.  And I love hearing from high school classmates.  If I were to get a Facebook request from my worst high school enemy now, I'd be all, "OHMIGHOD, HOW ARE YOU, WE MUST GET TOGETHER, SQUEEEE!!" 

Seriously, I embrace my past and I take responsibility for my actions.   

But this girl? 

With this reaction? 

Oh, sweetie, you've kind of got to let it got.  We went to camp together in 1981, which is just about the time I stopped having to go to church, so I'm pretty sure we've had zero interaction since then or else I would have known you. 

Does it not stand to reason I might be a different person at 41 years old than I was at 13??  I mean, I don't have a Dorothy Hamill haircut now and I no longer cut shots of Jimmy Baio (Scott's cousin from Soap) out of TigerBeat.  I'm pretty sure I didn't get Botox back then, so is it possible I could have changed a tiny bit for the better in the past twenty-eight years?  Matured, perhaps? 

Besides, did we learn nothing from Romy and Michele's High School Reunion?  Everyone gets picked on in high school, regardless of social stature.  To paraphrase my favorite scene, "The whole time you were making my life hell, the 'A' group was making your life hell?  I didn't know."  "I hurt your feelings?"  "Yeah, all the time."  "That's tremendous!  Go get your stupid yearbook.  I would be happy to sign it."

Anyway, I'm not claiming to not be a an asshole now because I kind of couldn't help myself after getting blind-sighted.  My response?  "I seriously don't know who you are." 

To which she replied, "It's usually the people who get made fun of who wear the scars and remember.  Good luck with your diet."

OK, not only did she call me out on shit of which I have no recollection, but she also just called me fat?  Granted, it's true.  But that's not karma, honey... it's carbs.  And choices.  And I've made peace with both.

When I tweeted a synopsis, my friend Badger summed it up best:  "I graduated high school in 1984. Anyone who's been pissed at me THAT long can bite me on their way to getting a life." 

Yeah.  What she said.

Yet there's a tiny part of me that agonizes over someone who I may have inadvertently impacted.

So there's that.

 

Comments

[Amber]

Why couldnt you just apologize? She just wants to feel heard and validated, not dismissed because you didnt remember her. What if someday you meet randomly and she's your trainer?!! (And yes, I know Im a sensitive social worker, but its the right thing to do!)

[May]

"But that's not karma, honey... it's carbs. And choices. And I've made peace with both."

From one girl who could stand to say no to cupcakes more often to another- I've got to just crack up- and you sure do have the right attitude here. If she's still hanging on to crap from freaking 1981 she must have quite a sad life.

Thanks for sharing

[Kellee]

Wow - grudge much?

[Caroline]

Thank you, Linda, for saying what I was thinking. Jen, I love you and your books, and I know 25 years is a long time. On the other hand, I was picked on in middle school (such an innocuous phrase for something that made me terrified to go to school) by one particular girl, and if my daughter came home with a book this girl had written I would tell her what this girl (now woman, I know) did to me and why I didn't like her. Furthermore, if my former adversary was putting herself out there as a public figure, I might even do what your person did and send a message. And it's not that I've been living under a cloud for the past 25 years - in fact, until very recently, I haven't thought about her at all. But we all have different tolerance levels for these things, and clearly this woman's is different from yours. So is mine - if my enemy from HS linked to me on Facebook, my response would be "ignore," not SQUEEEEE. Clearly you did some damage to a fellow human being and the least you can do is apologize. Think about it this way: What if you unknowingly sideswiped someone's car years ago, then found out about it later? Even if you didn't remember doing it, wouldn't you apologize? Aren't hurt feelings worth at least as much as a car paint job?

[Jara]

As someone who was the poor kid (but did everything she could to try and hide it), and in an ironic twist of high-school fate was rather well-liked (a step below popular) by multiple cliques, I have to say that it's hard to get over slights in high school, real or perceived. They stay with us forever, whether we like it or not and no matter how much therapy we've had or haven't had. We set up the foundations of who we are in high school, and no matter how much we mature, we will always keep a part of who we were back then with us.

With that said, I agree with Jen that this woman needs to get over it. Absolutely! But by the same token, we shouldn't be calling this woman on the carpet for her obvious inability to get over the "trauma." Our pointing it out and making light of it reminds me of being back in high school and picking on the awkward kid.

Jen, the only thing I can say is that if this woman thinks she feels better by sending you a note, then you gotta give her that. Even though you and I both know that that's totally not going to give her the self-satisfaction she's really looking for. Especially cause you KNOW she will be reading your books, and sadly, if she gets a little jolt of pleasure out of the hard times you and Fletch had, then let her think that karma did its magic, and perhaps she'll FINALLY get over it. We all make our own reality, and if that's what does it for her, then let her have it. YOU know you're kicking ass and taking names - that's all that matters!

More importantly, you've learned from your past (as you've so artfully shared with us)...for the most part. :) Hey, I'm right there with you - I can be quite the snarky one myself, and I honed it in high school, too, talking about the cheerleading squad behind their backs. :) Those skills, as we have learned, have served you well and for that, I thank you! You totally brighten my day!

BTW, Rachel - loved your post! Good luck with the Master's!

[Casey]

I was voted "Most Likely to Be on the Real World" in high school. Needless to say, the enemies list is not on a post-it. I'm sure I have been called a mean girl too.

Here's the difference between people like us and people like that lady though, WE HAVE MOVED ON. :)

[Tricia]

I still hold small grudges about people I went to high school with, but if I saw them on the street I wouldn't knock them over, if they friended me on facebook I wouldn't say "bitch, who you think you tryin to friend". It's all about maturity. Perhaps she had a miserable life, and still has one and is just focusing all her energies on you. Don't fret, as per my quotes from facebook= "Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."
Albert Einstein
"That which does not kill you makes you stronger."
Neitzsche
and finally
"When one door closes another opens. But often we look so long so regretfully upon the closed door that we fail to see the one that has opened for us."
Helen Keller ( this one you should copy and paste to that woman, when you tell her to get over it).

[Mia]

You would think for someone having gone to both church and bible camp, she would have learned forgiveness by now.

[Jackie]

Love the Ann reference...Oh how I miss that show! I catch myself watching old reruns on Hulu.com all the time and then dancing like a chicken. Can't wait for the movie!

[blu_canary]

Argh. Just couldn't resist commenting on this one. Even if you were the bitchiest bitch of them all in high school...why does this woman still care?

Don't feel bad. Apologize if it makes you feel better, but really? She needs to unclench. Some people are going to imagine slights even where they didn't occur.

I was the overly nice one in high school/college (well, still...really). Flitted from group to group and fit in pretty much everywhere. And yet, it seemed some people hated me for the mere reason that so many people loved me. It still mystifies me, but I finally decided some people just need to dislike someone and someone to blame. They wanna use me? They can knock themselves out.

You acknowledged her, you tried, now the growing up is up to her. My guess? She still hates a lot of people from high school, grade school, old neighbors, etc.

I bet she also reads all of your books. ;)

[Melissa]

On a lighter note to cheer everyone up a little -- Michael Cera has apparently signed on to the Arrested Development movie!! More adorable coming to the big screen near you!

[Trish]

"wedging myself into a pair of size five Jordache jeans"

Ahh, the memories you bring back ....

[Tammy]

Jen! First off, I love your sense of humor. You made me actually laugh out loud while I was reading your books.

As to possibly being an ass when you were a kid, weren't all kids asses at one time or another? I was like you...always protected the underdog. If I ran into a childhood friend and they still held a grudge, they need to get help. They also need to watch Frasier. Niles. Frasier. Nerds. Hilarious!

Best wishes to you in all you aspire to do.

Tammy

PS - Rats are cool pets. Stop the madness and hug a rat!

< :3 )~~~~

[Dawn]

I feel you. I went to school in a small town and when I go home those that stayed are in this weird time warp. I swear they just hold on to that stuff. It's been 20 years, what the hell has she been doing?

[AlliJag]

LOL - "Whose Anne? Don't ask me, I'm just the boy's father" - love Mr. Bateman

[Katie P in Columbus]

It's nice that she took the time to write you a lovely email detailing the torture you put her through 28 years ago. She didn't stand up for herself back then and now she's a little late in getting her "payback" because you don't remember who she is or what you did to her. Of course, she's probably freshly stung because you don't have an meanie archive that highlights your "torture" of her. I don't know what she wants from you 2+ decades later...

That is the kind of email that you delete and move on. Why? Because it is far better to move forward than dwell on the past.

[Poppy Buxom]

Mostly I'm freaked out that someone hanging onto high school memories of you could have a daughter old enough to buy one of your books.

Botox notwithstanding, you are a whippersnapper.

So how can this be? Did she get pregnant the night of her senior prom?

p.s. Meow.

[Stephanie]

Don't see a grudge or a real problem here, but hearing that her daughter was a fan must have stung. "Let me just tell you what she was REALLY like..". If you hurt her, you hurt her. I agree that we often don't remember the people we hurt. She doesn't need a therapist, a bridge to get over it, she just wanted to be heard. Or maybe she confused you with someone else. Heh.

[Mirinda]

Someone took a big dose of bitterness with her meds this morning! Seriously, girlfriend needs to let it go and get a life. And perhaps a good shrink.

I got picked on in highschool cause I was the super skinny shy artist. Anorexic, freak, snobby bitch, you name it I got it. And I talk to a lot of those folks on Facebook now. Why? Because it's called GROWING UP which myself AND the folks who picked on me have managed. Geesh.

[Jfletch]

I'd take it as a compliment / accomplishment that someone who you don't know is still thinking about you . But, I'm a Leo....what can I say?

[Chrystal]

In my new blog, I mention that I refuse to get a Facebook account, expressly because I find social networking sites irritating. However, a high school friend of mine with whom I've never lost touch finally coerced me to the dark side merely on the promise of reconnecting with old classmates. I graduated from a class of 23, and surprisingly, did not really hang out with most of them, though I've gotten tremendous feedback since signing on. I was the sort who was a member of the mutant-peanut-gallery, but was well-liked by the popular kids as well, even though I didn't hang out with them. To quote SLC Punk, I "moved freely between the tribes." That being said, I was often accused of being "same-sex oriented" (Clueless) because I wasn't interested in any of the 6 guys available for my dating pleasure in B.F.E., Maine. Ouch, but um, I'm hardly traumatized for the rest of my life. It was HIGH SCHOOL. Rite of passage and what not. I'm sure homegirl inflicted a few wounds on people without her knowing as well. Don't sweat it, girlfriend just needs a little therapy.

[kalisah]

Well she obviously wasn't in your AP English class, 'cause her grammar kind of sucks.

[Leah]

In my opinion, the fact that you do not remember means that you did not grant this person the slightest bit of respect during those years. The fact that she does remember - is because you did not grant this person the slightest bit of respect during those years. Good lord, high school is long over. Stop making it worse and just apologize. This rant/post/attack of yours makes the girl's high school memories all the more plausible.

[Stepheney]

This woman, so desperately holding onto the crushed flower of her self esteem, is ridiculous. If you being mean to her is the worst thing that ever happened to her (and by her own words, she is implying that fact) then she is LUCKY. Her view of reality is quite........off.

Let it go. Realize that life could have been and could be now MUCH WORSE.

[Kristi]

Having also grown up in a small school in Indiana, I can relate.

I think there are two kinds of people in the world. The first group are people that continually relive their high school experiences because they never moved away and got married before 20. The second group are those that have sought to experience life and seek out new adventures.

When you are in the second group you just do not have the brain capacity to remember all of high school. More important things have happened to you.

[Heather Faulk]

That quote from Badger is classic. It must annoy the hell out of her that her daughter bought your book. I can't wait for the new book, I am so excited. I graduated in 1986 so I'm sure it will bring back a lot of memories for me. You Rock!!

[Sheri]

Wow!!! I don't remember getting harassed too much in hs, not like I was popular or anything, but I wasn't hated either. I had all kinds of friends--some popular and some not.

Twenty years is a long time to hold onto that kind of hate.

Actually, there was one girl, who no matter how hard I tried or not, just did not like me. And that would have been ok, but she voiced her opinion often. When I got my first Gucci purse, she made a comment about how stupid they were. She kept it up and when I finally told her I'd be sure to let (insert popular girl's name here) know her opinion, she stopped.

Fast forward to now, I found her on Facebook and friended her--not expecting much, but you know, we "talk" almost everyday.

Your person needs to get a grip.

[MonsteRawr]

One of the best parts about growing up has been to see how much my high school friends and enemies have changed. Knowing how much I've changed since high school (a LOT) I treat each person as if we've never met. Now, five years later, I never speak to my best friend but the girl who made fun of me on a regular basis and I talk on a weekly basis. You have to accept that when we're in high school we're only functioning with a 1/3 of our brains; everyone grows and matures and becomes a better and fuller person.

[Emily]

Wow Jen, maybe SHE should have written the book on bitter. Sounds like she is seriously in need of therapy. At least her daughter has good taste and reads your books! ;-)

[Christine]

Hey - enough of the piling on. Perhaps this woman is just taking the opportunity to stand up for herself now, through the protection of email, because she couldn't do it back in the day. Many people move on from the indignities they experienced in middle school/high school, but many have an experience that haunts them. It's not right, it's not wrong - it just is. The fact that she had to contact you should be evidence enough of the impact you had on her.

[living with lindsay]

OMG! What crawled up her butt and died...25 years ago?!?

I'm totally going out and buying one of your books today. I've just found you and I think I'm in love.

[inez]

if i were to stand "trial" if you will from kids who felt i wronged them when i was 13, then they would charge me with being a supreme bitch. because really? when we're that young and trying to figure out who we are we tend to trample on some people knowingly and sometimes unknowingly. it's too bad that this woman can't really understand that despite acknowledging that those who are hurt remember better.

i had something a little opposite happen. some girl i knew from the 6th grade facebooked me, and i vaguely recognized the name. she thanked me for sticking up for her when all the other girls would not be her friend. i have even seen pictures from that time with all of us, and i tell you, i don't remember her at all. even now, but i don't want to hurt her feelings by telling her i have no clue who she is.

maybe this woman needs to own up to the fact that by sending you a message, she was herself trying to hurt your feelings. because if she was over it, she wouldn't have felt the need to point out that her 19 yr old daughter can buy her own books (really?). add to that, she would ask for a refund if she bought your book ( ok, we get it, you don't like jen). then when you tell her you have no idea who she is, she then martyrs herself with the "it's the ones who are scarred that remember!" crap. honestly, if ( believing you were) being picked on when you were 13 is the worst thing that has ever happened to you, you need to grow the fuck up and realize you are not the center of everyone's life.

[Kelly]

After I saw "Flatliners", I was freaked out about tormenting a girl in 8th grade. One of my fellow cheerleader friends and I used to taunt her by whispering "Blue Bra" during the Pledge in homeroom. I had a chance to email an apology when I was in my 30's because I saw her name, by chance, on an email distribution list from someone else. Guess what? She thanked my for my apology, but let me know that she hadn't even thought of me in 15 year. I guess none of us are as important as we thought we were as teens.

Jen: it only reflects poorly on her that she is carrying a grudge for so long. With your success now she is probably GREEN with envy.

[paperdiva]

your friend Badger is very wise.

[simple me]

That's sad but you KNOW she's probably going to read the book(s) and then tell all her friends that she went to school with you!
She'll tell them what an asshat you were BUT she might just sell some books in the process and then after one of her friends reads said book(s) & tells her that she LOVES you, she'll be over it, write you another email and tell you about the therapy that's helping SO much.

[Rachel]

Being that this is Jen's moment in the sun, I'm gunna try not to turn this into an enormous ramble, but here's some food for thought:

High school was bad for me but junior high was the absolute worst.

I was one of those major underdogs you talked about...thing is, I had no one to defend me hence I had to learn to defend myself at a very early age.

They didn't like me because I wasn't just like them. They were all from middle and upper middle class Italian and Catholic families in New Jersey. I came from a working class (eventually to middle class) German and Jewish family in The Bronx. When we moved to NJ in 1991, we faced nothing but hostility. I was 7 and my sister was 14. Crap she dealt with at the high school bordered on hate crime!

Everyone just thought we were SO weird and it wasn't just the popular kids who picked on me-- EVERYONE did. My mom had to dress us in ugly clothes from outlet shops because we were trying to support my dad through finishing college, so we wouldn't be poor anymore. Yep, I was that dork who had to wear sweat pants as REGULAR CLOTHES in the 6th grade because I had no choice! Both boys and girls said I was just a boy with big boobs, and I'd die a virgin. Yeah, I had to hear that as early as 12 and didn't stop hearing it til I was 17.

Between the assholes at school and an abusive mother, I had hell in both directions. I'm not asking for pity or sympathy or anything, I don't care to have those things at this stage of my life. I simply have qualms talking about it, tis all.

But I swore that some day I would go back to New York and it would be all over. I wasn't really hellbent on revenge and retribution (I recall feeling that way slightly as a young teenager and preteen), especially since I matured too fast. By the time I was a junior in high school, I was more hellbent on moving back to the city and starting a new life. Finding more like-minded people who suffered like I did.

I did just that in 2002 and haven't looked backed.

I'm almost 25 years old now. I'm working on a masters degree in accounting. The friends I made when I started my new life? Are still with me and are also people who come from similar yet diverse backgrounds; we share common threads in having an abusive parent and being ostracized throughout our schooling. I love my challenging career field, my hometown which never gets dull, the intensely diverse variety of people I always meet in all my endeavors, and most of all my friends who are the most important thing in my life. And "fat ugly Jew who'll die a virgin"? Let's just say since I transcended, my dance card has been full many times.

Now where's the moral of the story you're probably wondering?

while I don't quite forgive the douchebags who tortured me in school for everything from being forced to wear ugly clothes, being the only frigging non-Catholic around, and just not being allowed to have a normal life...well, rather than go all Columbine on them or hold grudges for 28 years like this woman did with you,

I quite honestly forgot over half, if not all entirely, the faces and names of those morons. I mean, I couldn't wait to get the hell out of New Jersey. Know how kids sometimes have countdowns of how many school days are left in the year and eagerly count down to 0 in June? The second my college acceptance letter came in January 2002, I had a countdown of literally how many calendar days were left til I could move in August, and use dorm living to bridge the gap into starting my new life.

I'm willing to bet some of those people aren't such douchebags now. Some may still be. Some people never change, others change for the better, others for the worse. It's a simple fact of life. As you said so yourself: wouldn't one think I'm a much different and far more learned and mature person at 41 than at 13?

But fact remains, I stopped holding grudges on them for the most part. Namely because I started a new life and was more focused on those positive aspects and looking brightly to the future, rather than focusing on the past.

Yeah, they may've made my life hell. But on the same token, dealing with crap every day has given me such a thick skin for dealing with assholes. I'm so good at making snarky comebacks to insults since I had such long "training".

*Rachel's moment in the sun is over*

So even I don't get why the hell this woman is sending you this 28 years later! Anyone who holds a grudge that long after something so trivial...they got problems. They must really have nothing else to do in their lives.

The fact that she has a 19-year-old daughter saddens me, and I hope her daughter learns not to copy this kind of behavior; and did what I did as a result of having a mother who was wrong in the head: find another positive role model.

[Korinna]

Kind of a harsh note to receive. Dang.

[Amanda]

Sounds like someone needs to build a bridge and get the eff over it! There were girls in HS that made my life hell, to the point that I almost transfered schools, and now we are Facebook friends. We're by no means BFF's, but I don't hold a grudge and wish them all well.

[Michelle Smiles]

Am I the only person on earth who has fond memories of high school? I liked high school (and no, wasn't a cheer leader or prom queen...far from it). I had fun. Some people sucked - but some people suck outside of high school now. And the fun thing? Is seeing how the people who sucked peaked then. I ran into one mean girl from high school at a bar a few years ago. She was divorced and trying to start a career selling burial plots. Heh. Maybe she should wear the prom queen crown to her next meeting. But I felt bad that she had a rough time...and I have no grudge that she was mean in high school. I just don't care about her anymore.

Get over it!

[Colleen]

Geez...there were definitely times when I felt like an outsider and I could still name who the culprits were. However, if I saw them now (16 years later), I would have a civil and maybe even warm conversation with them and probably even laugh over the stupid things we did back in the day. I at least give them the benefit of the doubt on growing up as I know I have changed, too. This woman needs to let it go. It is not productive to hold onto a grudge this long and with so much vehemence.

[Elissa]

I can't even remember the people i went to high school with and i graduate in 2002. Any grudges have long been forgotten, and i was one of those honor/AP students.

At some point in the 28 years, you would think she would let it go. Hating someone just takes too much effort to keep it up.

[tutugirl1345]

The funny thing is, you probably don't remember her because half the time she thought you were talking about her, you weren't even thinking of her. Its amazing the things we can construct in our heads.

There was one girl in elementary/middle school who made my life hell. If I saw her today, I wouldn't go out of my way to hug her. But I certainly wouldn't write her a bitchy note if I saw she wrote a book. And if people said the book was effing amazing? I'd read it. There's no point in living in the past.

[twinkles]

Hmmmm I have not spoke to anyone from High School in over 25 years. Once I graduated I pretty much just moved on. Bleech high school was hell.

[Kelly]

I cut people out of my life from High School. I also graduated in 2003.

However, I wouldn't go OUT OF MY WAY to let these people know what I think about them. If I ran into anyone from HS, I would be polite, no matter what I thought of them back then. I didn't go to my 5 year reunion because there's too many people still hanging onto HS, but still...if I can grow up over 6 years......

[Brooke]

I usually totally agree with your thinking, but, here, I have to disagree. I think everyone has had someone in their past that hurt their feelings. I mean I can still vividly remember the details of a four square game in 7th grade, but I bet the kid that picked on me has no clue or recollection of who I am (and, I don't think about this regularly, but your post reminded me of it). This woman is obviously not staying up late at night harboring some sort of grudge, she just remembers having her feelings hurt and that doesn't mean she needs to "get a life." Probably putting all of this out there on the internet for people to make comments on and say she needs therapy will only make it worse.

[Sara]

Wow! Someone needs to move on. I feel like she must be one of those women who is slighted at every turn; everything offends her. And she NEVER forgets.

Well, at least it was good blog fodder, right??

[Cindy]

People hung up on HS obviously have deep issues that only a therapist can hope to help. Someone who doesn't grow from that experience turns into a creepy, lonely person who has no one to blame but themselves. You have a choice to make - dwell or learn and move one. Get over it and don't make your life all about 'what happened back then'.

Love your books - am eagerly awaiting the new one along with your stop in MI!!!!

[Erin]

Please disregard my extraneous comma.

[Erin]

Really? Um, did she have a really thin skin or what?

Recently I have rediscovered friends from high school thanks to Facebook. And some things that folks remember make me cringe. But I chalk it up to the fact that it was half a lifetime ago and I am as overtly snarky. And the one girl who was ostracized by everyone remembers me for being nice.

(Polishing my halo, now.)

[Lisa Johnson]

Is any one watching the new show High School Reunion that just started last week? Could give you some insight Jen as to what this "freak" is feeling after all these years.