After I posted my tour info today, I thought, "Hey, a bath might be nice." So I ran a tub, grabbed my book, and settled in for a soak.
Not even one full page in, Loki joined me in the bathroom, which is sort of disconcerting what with all the staring and the n-a-k-e-d.
I ignored him and read my book.
He stared a bit more.
I kept reading.
Staring.
Reading.
Awkward.
Staring.
Reading.
Awkward.
Staring.
Reading.
Awkward.
Staring.
Reading.
Climbing in.
Apparently I've been keeping the house so cold that Loki decided taking to the water was the only way to fend off hypothermia.
Then he sat on my lap.
It was creepy.
I got out and took a shower.
He stayed.
And here he is twenty minutes later.
OK, dogs. You win. The heat goes back up to 68 degrees.
P.S. I brought home a pineapple yesterday and all the cats have been fighting over who gets to sit next to it. Is it any wonder I'm excited to get out of here for a month?
that is a riot! he when the dog pays the gas bill then he turn up the heat :D
Posted by: monica in raleigh | February 23, 2009 at 09:24 AM
Loki knows he's safe from the bears in the basement as long as he is hiding in the bathtub.
Posted by: Nina | February 22, 2009 at 11:38 PM
Sounds like a case of February Cabin Fever has invaded your house - when kitties fight over who gets to hang out with the new piece of fruit in town, it's a sign.
Here's rootin' for spring!
Posted by: Liza | February 21, 2009 at 05:37 PM
QUESTION: Is that the faucent behind Loki's head, or is that a detachable shower head type thing that you can use to wash your hair while taking a bath? If it's the latter, that is the coolest tub in the world.
Posted by: Nikki | February 21, 2009 at 04:36 PM
My cats also do the whole sitting on the tub ledge while I am in the shower in between the liner and curtain just to make sure the water isn't killing me or something! The pineapple thing cracks me up! Please post a picture of that if you get a chance! Looking forward to seeing you in Detroit- any chance of you celebrating Cinco De Mayo afterwards!?
Posted by: Ally | February 21, 2009 at 01:21 PM
You. Are. Hilarious. Because I have been busy myself (yes, some of it WAS sitting on my arse, and so what?) this is my first visit to your blog. I totally LOVED your books, as they were the first to make me laugh until I cry, and laugh so hysterically that people pointed and whispered. Tell me, how do I start a blog of my own? Ive got some bailout judgements I need to get off my ample bosoms.
Posted by: Audrey Johnson | February 21, 2009 at 11:00 AM
Seriously sister? That sh*t is FUNNY!! My house is a FRIGID 62 degrees (downstairs only-because the upstairs? is like 70 and that's where I hang most of the time) and my poocher Daisy is NONE to happy with me.
I haven't read your tour dates, YET - but if you're not scheduled for the great state of OHIO - please do so!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Jill | February 21, 2009 at 12:30 AM
Pineapples are very exciting and exotic! Who wouldn't want the honor of sitting next to one?
Posted by: Katie | February 20, 2009 at 11:54 PM
You know what they say, "The family that bathes together, stays together..."
Posted by: Rhiana from A Frugal Life | February 20, 2009 at 07:46 PM
Come to Iowa City!!! Prairie Lights hosts
many authors. There is also a B&N and someplace on the U of I campus (Go Hawks!!) We would love to have you here. Or, if you want to make the trek on your own and have some great food, wine and company I have 2 book clubs that would LOVE to host you. It is a quick drive and you can stay here for free!! :)
Posted by: Laurie Boland | February 20, 2009 at 06:16 PM
What a scream! I can't believe your dog climbed into your tub. Love it!
Posted by: living with lindsay | February 20, 2009 at 05:06 PM
I cannot even believe Loki climbed in there with you. Just thinking about all the floating hairs makes me feel squicked out.
If my dog ever tried to climb in with me I'd punt his Labrador bottom out of there so fast it would make his head spin. Why wasn't Fletch running animal interference for you?
Posted by: Parsing Nonsense | February 20, 2009 at 02:16 PM
I- like so many others - was introduced to your books by my sister who snorted and laughed while reading to me trying to tell me how great the book was...so I read it in about 2 days reading out loud half the time cuz every time my hubby heard me snortling and chortling out loud he would make me read it to him. Love the books, love the blog...,planning a girls day with cocktails to see you in Seattle!!
Posted by: Anna Shipley | February 20, 2009 at 01:15 PM
Been there, done that, althought my little yorkie-poo was not so happy when she hit the water. Guess she just wanted to be with mom, but didn't realize it was a bath! Needless to say, it was the only time I have taken a bath in the almost 4 yrs I have had her. I did not want a repeat of the claws on wet n-a-k-e-d skin! Luckily she is not so interested in the shower, but she will push the door open and try to join you while you do your business. It is amazing how many alike stories we have about our animals
Posted by: Jenna | February 20, 2009 at 12:34 PM
Post a pic of the cats next to the pineapple--too funny
Posted by: Stephanie | February 20, 2009 at 12:33 PM
Loki is soooo cute!
Yes! Those doggies need hoodie sweatshirts!
My little Cavalier/Bichon mix wears one since we keep the heat down too. I did actually let him grow out this winter -- I usually keep him clipped short. He recieved an assortment of coats for Christmas including a hooded parka. He has taken to sleeping upside down under the covers at night.
He loves to swim but doesn't like the tub filled with water. I spray him with the shower wand. He is pretty cooperative.
Posted by: DanceMom | February 20, 2009 at 12:05 PM
My older cat has resorted to sitting in the warm tub after I shower because I keep it cold in my place, too. Crazy pets.
Posted by: Erin | February 20, 2009 at 11:38 AM
My golden retriever waits patiently (OUTSIDE the bathroom door) until I am out of the tub, and then excitedly carries my dirty clothes and undies downstairs for me and deposits them in the laundry room. Don't ask HOW I even got him to do that... :)
Posted by: Rachael | February 20, 2009 at 11:16 AM
My male boxer used to come and sit next to me and put his head in my lap for ear rubs every time I would sit on the toilet. No matter how much I would push him away, he would still do it. I would look at him and say, "I don't bother you when you do your business so go away!" He would also try to lick my feet and legs when I got out of the shower!!! EEEWWWW!! Then he would lick the water off the sides of the tub. My female used to run to the bathroom anytime the water was turned on in the tub so she could get a drink from the faucet. Now he likes to sleep on the bath mat when we are at work. It's about the only carpet left in the house, plus a few rugs that he's not allowed on.
Posted by: buttah | February 20, 2009 at 10:32 AM
Your blog is my new favorite thing. I laugh every day.
Posted by: Jordan | February 20, 2009 at 09:43 AM
This post is why I read your blog every day. As a owner of three cats, I relate all too well to the fights over toys and anything new added to the household. Thanks for making me snort out loud during a work meeting (that'll teach me for playing on web sites instead of listening to the presentation)
Looking forward to your visit to Atlanta!
Posted by: Susan in Atlanta | February 20, 2009 at 09:37 AM
That's adorable! I have a dog that is a german shepard and he always sits in my lap. Haha, very lucky it never happened in the bath however! Can't wait to see you on tour!
Posted by: Denise | February 20, 2009 at 09:32 AM
Ahahhaaaa! Loki is so cute! He looks very pleased with himself.
Perhaps Jen, it's time to hit Target or PetsMart or something and grab Loki a little fleece hoody number? Hmmmm??? If for nothing else practicality's sake?
I once (and only once, I swear) bought a pink t-shirt for my cat Pedro (she's a girl) and during an Ultimate fighting event when my hubbys buddy's came over there she was at the top of the steps, in all her pink t'd glory proudly flaunting her Party Animal shirt, with fuzzy guns blazing! Kirks friends howled and then quietly muttered to each other "dude, I think your broad has an issue"....
Posted by: Karina in T.O | February 20, 2009 at 09:01 AM
HAHA Soren thinks WE talk funny, yet he/she's from freakin Canada (Eh?)?? Perhaps I should introduce him/her to the dude from Canada we see at the races, I bust up laughing every time he talks about the "battrees" for his RV LMAO!
My dog stays out of my tub, but any other body of water she's in faster than you can blink. Unfortunately I can never take her fishing anymore, she loves retrieving in water, and bobbers are appealing to her. Picture that one. Dog retrieves bobber, pole and all, and person on other end of pole damn near falls off dock trying to let line out so she won't hook herself (while trying not to spill their beer!).
Posted by: DawnMarie | February 20, 2009 at 08:55 AM
LOL - I was cracking up over the dog story, and then almost peed my pants over the pineapple comment! Any of your posts with the pets is always a good one!
Posted by: AlliJag | February 20, 2009 at 08:11 AM
Nothing says bonding like sharing a bath with a pet. I am pretty sure that lady with the insane, blood thirsty chimp did the same thing. Surely its not connected to the violence and rage... right?
Posted by: Domestic Goddess (In Training) | February 20, 2009 at 08:05 AM
BWAHAHAHA! So-o cute! My dog doesn't like clean water, so when I take a bath, she just lays down on the bathroom rug and sighs repeatedly.
RE: Cats: is there a pineapple scented scratching post you could get?
Posted by: Terry from Mass. | February 20, 2009 at 06:48 AM
My black lab showers with me on average once a week. He's always in the bathroom with me(follows me everywhere)but sometimes when my back is turned, he jumps in with me. Luckily, we have a garden tub and he enjoys being clean so I take advantage and shampoo him up. It's when he decides to "goose" me while I'm in there n-a-k-e-d that is the problem!
Posted by: Rhonda | February 20, 2009 at 06:41 AM
Maybe you can buy a space heater for the dogs and another pineapple for the cats...and a bottle of wine for yourself!
Posted by: Emily | February 20, 2009 at 05:18 AM
someone so kindly pointed to your book, for me to buy, and tryed as she did to talk ip up, She was spitting nd snorting with laughter. So i think well if its thatfunny, to the point she is now bent over drooling and without air,i guess i must read this book. It was Bitter. So went home, opened the book and here i am 4 days later having read all 3. Im so excited to have found the blogs. It gives a jen fix daily.
Your Ambien stories are described perfectly. I being a fan of sleeping nightly have gotten on the Ambien wagon. I even have rules... 1: Stay off computer 2: stay away from phone texting included 3:and no driving... Now in my Ambien state these r the 3 things i freekin ROCKSTAR....I also wake up in the morning to what appears ihosted a ten coarse meal with myself as the only guest. i keep thinking i can get control of it but looks like i need a personal trainer... YAY for me. Thank You so very much for the laughter and excited for more.
Posted by: Michele | February 20, 2009 at 02:05 AM
I love the picture! And your cats and the pineapple - too freaking funny! I've never had a dog try to climb into a tub with me but I have had them try to dry my feet off w/ their tongue when I get out ... yuck. I don't mind "doggie kisses" but there is something about them on my FEET ... yuck. yuck. yuck. It's a miracle I haven't broken something as I jump around the bathroom saying, "No, no!"
Posted by: Chrissy | February 20, 2009 at 01:08 AM
That is a seriously cute picture, he really looks happy that he's finally WARM!!!
The closest I've come with my 2 greyhounds is when I got the first one, he rubbed his face on my post-shower towels, just the first couple days when he first came to live with us... that was 4 years ago, and this kid will NOT go near water at all, he avoids puddles, won't walk in the lake when it's hot, nothing.
We adopted his sister a couple years ago, and she's a bit more normal (puddles don't bother her) though I did find her lying on the bath mat a few months ago-- which was weird, since she NEVER does that, and of course, I had to avoid STEPPING on her :p silly girl... Hasn't done it since (but she does like to be covered with a blanket for bedtime...)
Please add Toronto to the list of cities? You don't need to go to MN, it's cold there and they talk funny!
Posted by: Soren | February 19, 2009 at 11:09 PM
My cat will brave being lightly sprayed by the shower to be able to sit on the ledge and make sure I am okay whilst showering. I've tried sparing him the water torture, but he just cries if he can't join me. Creepy? Maybe. Pets are awesome.
Posted by: Erin | February 19, 2009 at 11:05 PM
My two puppy-cats try to jump in the shower EVERY TIME I'M IN THERE. The door of the bathroom doesn't close all the way and they just push it open and stick their heads around the curtain with the look of "may we join? We won't be a bother, just want to chase the bubbles. K thx bai"
Seriously. Animals.
Posted by: Meg | February 19, 2009 at 10:37 PM
Yay a Loki picture! Don't get me wrong, I love Maisy, but I often find myself asking "where was Loki when Maisy was sitting in the gardening pot?" or "why does Maisy get starbucks but not Loki?" Yay for Loki's five minutes of fame!
I too had a bath watching dog. But he didn't climb in with me, just tried to drink the water and got bubbles on his nose. He also stared at the door to make sure no one had broken into the house for the sole purpose of seeing me n-a-k-e-d.
Posted by: Amanda | February 19, 2009 at 10:34 PM
My dog, Bentley, loves to stick his head around the shower curtain and bite at the water while its coming down. He also likes to come in after the hubby or I have taken a shower and lick the bottom of the shower dry. Gotta love pets!
Posted by: A | February 19, 2009 at 10:30 PM
Ok I like animals and all, but hello? Seriously there is enough fur floating in that poor tub to build another Loki! More DNA than a gene lab!!!
Fletch is gonna need a plunger for that one!
Posted by: jennster | February 19, 2009 at 10:22 PM
this made me laugh SO hard! thanks :)
And THANK YOU for planning Detroit in your tour <33
Posted by: Kate | February 19, 2009 at 10:16 PM
Love it. Heat it up!
Not a pet person, though pets LURVE ME. Don't know why as I had no pets growing up; parents objected. So, the pineapple reference is so inscrutable...;-)
When I take care of my friends' pets, I sing to them, and we spend a lot of time watching (all the best) TV (lots of Fox News/CNN, Food Network/BRAVO, MTV, A&E, etc. of course). They love it. My/Their favorite song is "You've lost that lovin' feeling", and they so get it....
Posted by: prtymbl | February 19, 2009 at 09:55 PM
As usual, I am laughing until I snort through my nose and can barely breathe! You don't need me to tell you this, but you SO rock!!!
Posted by: sapphiredarling | February 19, 2009 at 09:41 PM
My dog Sarah looks just like Loki but gold and not black. She does the same thing! I was thinking she was mentally unstable or something! Maybe it's just a shepherd thing!!
Posted by: Jackie | February 19, 2009 at 09:40 PM
I think pineapples are the most aggressive fruit...I think they may attack if not addressed firmly upon purchase. They're too pointy.
Posted by: Jenn | February 19, 2009 at 09:21 PM
F.U.N.N.Y.
Posted by: Marta | February 19, 2009 at 09:18 PM
My cats love to join me in my bathroom....everytime I am in there..Naked and all. And I Do find it freaky...and I am not even like you about my nakedness!!! I can only imagine.
I also want to see a pic of the cats with the pinapple!
Posted by: Lisa | February 19, 2009 at 09:12 PM
I laughed absurdly loud at this. Your stories always make my day!
Posted by: Brittany | February 19, 2009 at 09:04 PM
so hilarious.
maybe you should get an exotic fruit for each cat...that way they don't have to fight and you can be the crazy fruit lady and corner the market?
Posted by: Hannah | February 19, 2009 at 08:32 PM
Thisis the first thing that made me laugh all day!!! Plus i love seeing dogs that are weirder than mine (mine's afraid of her own farts...seriously terrified).
Posted by: Jess | February 19, 2009 at 08:21 PM
My dogs wouldn't go near the tub with a ten foot pole. But the littlest one LOVES the hair dryer. As soon as she hears it she's at my feet. She'll even whine if I don't turn the heat on her fast enough. Who knew bulldogs were so prissy?
BTW, can't WAIT to see you in Seattle!!!!!
http://bigdreamswritecity.blogspot.com
Posted by: Abigail Jennings | February 19, 2009 at 08:16 PM
"What, this isn't the Fountain of Youth?"
My cat will open the door of the bathroom while I'm showering, thus letting out all the steam and letting in All. The. Cold. Air. Not fun when you get out. So I have to lock him out and hear him scratch at the door. Try explaining THAT one when I move out of the apartment at the end of my lease...
Posted by: Becky | February 19, 2009 at 08:16 PM
H I L A R I O U S !
Posted by: LindaS. | February 19, 2009 at 08:03 PM