Sounds like I'm about to start a funny I-got-drunk-fell-down-boom story, doesn't it?
Prepare to be dissapointed.
I'm actually posting right now because a whole bunch of you have sent me sweet notes inviting me out for lunch, dinner, drinks, cucpakes, etc. in your respective cities while I'm on tour. I truly would love to meet up, but I just reviewed my tentative schedule and it's not going to happen.
Maybe you'll forgive me if you check out my day on May 7, for example:
4:00 AM - Wake up
5:00 AM - Depart hotel in Boston and head to airport
7:00 AM - Fly to New York
8:15 AM - Arrive in New York
9:45 AM - Radio interview
11:00 AM - Radio interview
12:00 PM - Lunch with New York publishing team
2:50 PM - Radio interview
5:30 PM - Magazine interview
7:00 PM to 10:00 PM - Reading and signing
10:00 PM - Late dinner with publishing team
1:00 AM - Return to hotel
Keep in mind I'm going to be talking and trying to entain people the entire time, too. That takes some energy.
Not exhausting enough yet? Check out May 15:
3:00 AM - Wake up (never can get to bed before midnight after a book signing)
4:00 AM - Depart hotel in Nashville and head to airport
5:30 AM - Fly to Atlanta
7:30 AM - Arrive in Atlanta
9:30 AM - TV interview
1:30 to 3:30 PM - Meetings with B&N store managers
4:30 PM - TV interview
7:00 to 10:00 - Reading and signing
10:30 PM - Head back to hotel to finally eat dinner
Shake with three time zones and stir in some jet lag, then lather, rinse, repeat fifteen times in three weeks. Seriously. Last year I was so tired that I accidentally committed acts of bioterrorism in the Atlanta and Dallas airport bathrooms. (When I go without sleep for that long I tend to lose fine motor skills, e.g. my ability to "hover." Fact.)
Don't get me wrong, I have the greatest job in the world and I love being on tour. I'm not exactly digging ditches or fetching anyone's coffee. And accidentally whizzing on the cuff of my cargo pants (and part of my carry-on bag) is a small price to pay for such a great experience.
All I'm saying is if I have a free hour at any point, I'm going to spend it asleep.
Anyway, I'll get plenty drunk (and fall down, boom) after the tour and promise to share all the details.
