You See? This Is Why I'm Not In Charge Of Anything

I totally forgot to create the Greatest! Contest! Ever! before I left for my appointment today, so now that I'm finally home, I'm obligated to half-ass something in order to keep my promise of posting it today.  (Then again, that's perpetually how I roll.)

I thought about implementing my agent's suggestion - having participants make a karaoke video to an 80's song and posting it on YouTube.  Although I love this idea, upon further consideration I would probably snap after watching my 15th Like A Virgin rendition.  In addition, that seems like an awful lot of work for something that retails at $29.99, so possibly I'd be watching nothing and that would hurt my delicate little feelings.

Resolution?  We're going to do this contest quick and dirty, so here are the rules: 

1)  Give me one sentence about why you loved the 80's... or why you didn't.  That's it, just one sentence and one sentence only.  And if you feel like the 90's or the 70's were the superior decade, tell me why in one sentence. 

1a)  Hey, did you notice how I just said "one sentence" like 900 times in a row?  That's because I'm going to disqualify anything over one sentence.  This is pretty much a one-major-rule contest, so if you break the one big rule, I'm not going to cut you any slack.

2)  I will choose my five favorite entries, so the picking won't be random.  Quality counts.  Speed doesn't.

3)  One entry per person, please.

4)  I will only consider entries posted in the comments section on this entry.  No email, no Twitter, no Facebook, please.  And if someone has posted your perfect answer first, then, um... I guess maybe speed counts a little bit. 

5)  Creativity counts, too.  You don't have to follow the rigid format of, "I loved the 80's because..."  Just give me the gist, e.g. "Pop Rocks candy ruled my world."

6)  The deadline to enter is Monday, April 13 at 12:00 CST.  Winners will be announced Tuesday, April 14. 

Ready... set... write!  (Or, for those of you who loved the 70's, right on.)

(I know.  Lame.  I told you this was half assed.  But the prize is full assed, and that's what matters, yes?)  

Comments

[Merrie]

Bigger (anything!) was better in the 80s!

[Beth]

In the 80's, my mom let me rent this at my local Blockbuster: http://tinyurl.com/dxdm3z; my eyes will never be the same.

[Giselle]

Parachute pants (the harem pants that are "in-style" now are parachute pants in a different material and will be made fun of accordingly).

[Kim Page]

I spent my 80's in Kindergarten thru 8th grade which didn't allow me to have any "big kid" fun, and I did it WITHOUT ANYTHING LACOSTE so I think that deserves a little consolation prize...don't you Jenn?

[Amy Walters]

The 80's: when multi-layer neon socks worn while rocking a pair of sequined gold heels, tapered jeans with the cuffs rolled up and "feather bangs" made you cooler than the cast of all the John Hughes movies put together.

[Heather]

Can't say enough about the "wings", "wave", neon colors and spandex shorts!

[Elizabeth Markham]

Because my husband at 8 years old could run around in maroon sweatpants with gaden hatchett playing "Indian" and no one thought it was rascist, just an 8 year old playing outside.

[Alisa_BC]

Cream sauces which made their entre into vogue cuisine as Tab departed to make way for Diet Coke explain the 'Bigger is Better' mantra that touched every aspect of my young life.

[Tammy]

The 80s - the GOT IT decade - got out of high school, got out of college, got a real job, got married (still with the same man), got a second real job (celebrating 20 years next month), and got a mother-in-law who delighted in making me those giant bow barettes out of every kind of fabric for every outfit!

[Erin917]

I still sing Electic Youth in the shower sometimes.

[Aimee Wolons]

Where the bigger the tshirt, the tighter the pants, scrunchies and snap bracelets defined just how cool you were - 90's baby.

[ashley battles]

roads? our bangs (and shoulder pads) were so high in the 80's we didn't NEED roads!

[Leanne]

The best part of the 80s was "Back to the Future" because Michael J. Fox is the BEST.

[Chris]

It was perfectly acceptable for a 13 year old girl to sing "Darling Nikki," Samatha Fox's "Touch Me," and Vanity 6's "Nasty Girl" and no one called social services.

[Kathy]

The 80's were so great that it makes me smile just thinking about them! What a GREAT idea for a contest! Way cool! Jen Lancaster you rock!

[Christy]

Eddie Murphy, Bruce Willis, Don Johnson and Frank Stallone all had hit records - awesome.

[Carrie]

Pink Pearl "Glossique" lip-gloss-glue, my pegged size 27(HA) Guess jeans, my Pop Swatch watch and making out with Craig while wearing all three things.

[Kelly]

Why I loved the 80's can be summed up in four words. "Don't Hassle the Hof."

[Maude07]

Because we can look back on them and laugh! :-)

[Shanda]

I had a dad to pay all of the bills!

[Laura James]

I loved the 80s for hair metal bands, big hair, and questionable fashion choices that are all now back in style at urban outfitters.

[Brittany Clark]

The 90's rocked because of Boy Bands and Grunge rock.

[Emily]

You gotta love a decade when a crimped side ponytail, a snap bracelet, layered neon tube socks, and Laura Ashley made you fashionable.

[Steph M.]

Because no "when" else could it be OK (or at least not totally weird) to watch Some Kind of Wonderful 100 times, aspire to be as half as cool as Watts (even though I didn’t play the drums), and be absolutely SURE that the writing from that particular movie was so unaccountably genius and perfect in its portrayal of high school drama – that explains a lot about you, Ray…

[LauraJT77]

The 90's were it for me: G n R, Nirvana, Doc Martin 8 holes, and babydoll dresses.

[graygirl68]

Tea length, mauve and lace Jessica McLintock prom dress, jams( long floral print shorts), THE LIMITED, dancing with a stranger to George Michael's "Careless Wisper" with a miniskirt,tank under the V neck sweater, and aqua pumps at the BETA CLUB convention, sneak preview showings of all John Hughes movies, and using my jambox in the car listening to Ah HaH's "Take on Me"(since my car radio was out of order) are all reasons why the 80's were the best!

[Melissa Maday]

The 80s rule because I was young and pretty then, and because there was enough pink and plaid and sparkle to get me though the boring, dowdy, grunge-y 90s and well into this decade -- where pink, plaid and sparkly reign again!

[CDW]

Boy George before things got messy.

[Lindsay]

Big Hair and Loose, Loud Clothing, it was terrible and we loved it.

[heather]

I keep trying to think of some poignant or super funny reason why I love the 80s but the truth is this: it's when I grew up and I miss everything about it- the clothes (Bennetton rugbys!), the tv (Michael J Fox, forget Tracy Pollen and marry me- Ellen left you anyway!), the endless possibility that I felt all around me, the way my whole family was and how we spent time together, the toys (Oh ebay, why do you have to make Poochie, Sea Wees and Strawberry Shortcake so accessible and yet so spency?!), everything.

[Jan Kelley]

Hair bands ruled!

[Marcy]

In what decade other than the 80's was it perfectly acceptable for a 3rd grader to get a perm?

[Babe]

The tv show Moonlighting with a young Bruce Willis and Sybil Shepard....I loved the show so much that my Barbies were named Maddie Hayes and David Addison.

[Irina]

A-duh!

[Ashley]

Having been born in the 80s makes it the best decade ever, but the fact that a bad hair day (frizz, crimpage, pouf, and perms) was considered stylish makes me wonder; when can we go back?

[dbach]

Rubber bracelets and shoes, Big Hair, Bright Blue eye shadow, torn jeans, everything you could ever want and more!!

[Tiana]

Tiana was born in 1983 with lack of a father; lots of moving (gag her with a spoon;) no apparent memories (I kid you not;) so now she re-lives the gnarly decade vicariously through: 80 hours of the 80's on VH1 classic, Movies-o-Rama, Side Pony-Tails, Neon Colors, T-Shirt Rings, Pixy Stix, Nik-L-Nip, Necco's and Rad stories from her homeslice.

[Autumn]

Without the 80s, I wouldn't have been able to watch the finale of Rock of Love Bus last night in complete disgust because he chose the Penthouse "Pet of the Year."

[Ashley]

I heart slap bracelets, neon everything, off the shoulder shirts, lace leggings, side ponytails, Cyndi Lauper, Goonies, and my dogs name is She-ra is how much I STILL love the 80's.

[Mary-Agnes]

Nod to the 90's: 1992 marked the release of Baby Got Back AND Rump Shaker, allowing large bottomed women every where to "shake it, shake it, shake those healthy butts" with pride.

[Laura Mellow]

A life with more bangles than arm, is a life worth living.

[Laura Mellow]

Treetorns + Esprit bag = haze of eternal Aquanet bliss.

[Peggy Astor]

I was a youngster in the 80's so I loved Saturday morning cartoons, Kids Incorporated (the lip syncing show) and Nickelodeon's You Can't Do That on Television.

[Lori]

Ronald Reagan was the man (and turned me into the Republican I am today)!

[Heather]

Because without the 80's, you would have no material to write about.

[Marissa]

My feathered mullet and cabage patch doll will beat up you and your Care Bear any day!

[philly]

The 80's were great because even though Ive never taken a karate lesson in my life and I couldn't get more unathletic, I would like to believe that because of Ralph Macchio if I were ever caught in a dark alley and needed some moves, I would "sweep the leg" and pull out the wax on/wax off move!

[susarudy]

The 70s rocked because no one ever went in the water again without thinking about Jaws.

[Vanessa]

Ewww, legwarmers... just put on pants already!

[ah]

Shoulder pads, though hideous in retrospect, WERE slimming; I still have a drawer-full.