Behold, for I have excellent news!
And that news is that Fletch can sleep a bit easier tonight.
Here's what happened - yesterday I was in the car in LA and I was talking to Fletch on the phone. (Side note - fortunately, I wasn't driving, in case you got all concerned that I was in some strange city, yakking away on my phone, not paying attention, and suddenly plowing into a whole sidewalk of al fresco diners.)
(Unfortunately, I can't say the same for the gentleman who was hired to take me places yesterday. That his prowess behind the wheel didn't kill any/all yesterday is nothing short of miraculous.)
(Really, should I have to remind someone fifteen minutes and 9,000 honks and flashes into an evening drive that perhaps he should consider turning on his headlights?)
ANYWAY.
We're driving and I'm talking. All of a sudden this jackass in the car in front of me catches my attention. I look over to see an enormous man in a tiny little Mercedes convertible shouting at a bunch of people on the sidewalk in front of a restaurant. (At first I wonder if he isn't just warning them to scatter before impact.) But after we pass them and somehow don't commit vehicular manslaughter, I watch him gesture again. His car is so small and he's so wee that he looks like something you'd see on Cute Overload, as if someone stuck a full sized baboon into a child's toy car.
Only it's not cute; it's obnoxious.
Like, a lot.
As he shouts and waves his simian arms around, I have to wonder, "Who is this ape-like asshole and what is his fucking problem?"
Then, out of mild curiosity, I turn around and see his face.
You guys?
The driver is VINCE VAUGHN.
Whoa.
And judging from all the shouting and posturing, it seems like he's so money and he finally, finally knows it.
Just like that, my ten year old Swingers-inspired crush vanishes.
Poof.
Now all that's standing between me and alifetime of fidelity with Fletch are vaguely unhealthy obsessions with Robert Pattinson, Paul Rudd, and the guy who plays Chuck Bass. Which is totally good news, you know? One down, three to go.
Plus, the driver didn't accidentally kill me, which should also please Fletch.
So that's it from the road.
I'll be back home for most of next week and regular posting should begin shortly thereafter. Talk to you then!
P.S. In other good news, Pretty in Plaid debuts this week at #8 on the New York Times best sellers list. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for getting me there!
