"Did you watch Mad Men this week?" Stacey asks.
"Actually, I don't watch it at all," I reply, taking a big swig of my Turkish coffee which is so thick I can practically chew it. I've put away most of the pot and am down to the ultra-concentrated layer of sludge at the bottom.
(If you're unfamiliar, this is the kind of coffee that coffee would drink for breakfast. Imagine Cuban coffee on crack which is like regular coffee on crack so essentially Turkish coffee is coffee to the second power. You could use it for jet fuel.)
(Actually, drink enough and you wouldn't even need a plane to take flight.)
"How can that be? It's the best written, acted, directed, and styled show on television!"
"Well, I've got a bunch of other stuff on the TiVo..."
"Too busy watching For the Love of Ray J. to make time to see it?"
"No, shut up, I didn't even watch that. Much. But, hey, the good news is I'm not involved with Megan Wants a Millionaire any more."
"The what?"
"It's a show about this big blonde gold digger named Megan who got her start on reality TV by winning Beauty and Geek which is a show where nerds and cute girls have to learn to work together and she had kind of a nice change of heart on the show but as soon as she went on Rock of Love she turned into a huge bitch again and then when she didn't win that, she went on the first season of I Love Money and then, I'd have to check to confirm this, but I'm pretty sure she was on the second season of I Love Money 2 which she didn't win either, but the producers loved her so they gave her a show where she could date a bunch of millionaires because her ultimate goal is to be a trophy wife but VH1 had to pull it because one of the finalists was that guy all over the news last week for killing his swimsuit model wife and the worst part - other than the horrible murder, of course - is that they're probably not event going to run I Love Money 3 so I guess what I'm saying is my television watching schedule just freed itself up a bit. Maybe I'll give it a shot."
There's a long, pregnant pause at the table before Stacey replies. "Two things; first, do yourself a favor and watch Mad Men. Second, do yourself another favor and STOP DRINKING THAT COFFEE."
