First, a quick reminder of where I'll be on tour starting in less than three weeks:
May 4 - Atlanta, B&N Buckhead
May 5 - Birmingham, B&N Summit Blvd
May 6 - Houston, Borders Kirby St.
May 7 - Dallas - B&N Northwest Highway
May 11 - Detroit, Borders Birmingham
May 12 - Dayton, Books & Co.
May 13 - St. Louis, Mad Art Gallery (a Left Bank Books event)
May 14 - Chicago, Borders Michigan Ave
May 18 - Philadelphia, B&N Walnut St.
May 19 - NYC, B&N Union Square
May 20 - DC, B&N 12th St. NW
May 21 - Charlotte, B&N Huntersville
May 26 - Milwaukee, Borders Fox Point
May 27 - Chicago, Borders Oakbrook
Specifics as to whens-and-wheres are posted in the Appearances section of the website. Please note that I'd love to see you there! I'll be in these cities talking about My Fair Lazy, but what's nice is that Pretty in Plaid will finally be out in paperback then, too, if you're just not a hardcover kind of person. BTW, I've got TV appearances in most cities and I'll post those once we get closer to the dates.
As everyone always has questions about signing protocol, so let me just say this - if I wrote it, I'll sign it. Also, if you're coming to an event - and I hope you will because they're fun - wear comfortable shoes. Some of the events will have line tickets so check with your bookstore to see if you can pick one up earlier in the day. A lot of times gals who end up towards the back of the line will duck out for drinks instead of waiting the entire time. I wholeheartedly support this. Please know if we meet and I smell wine fumes, I will be jealous. And I'll probably still be sweaty, even if I'm not drinking Chardonnay. I'll also make sure pre-signed books are available so you don't have to wait if you don't want to.
Some of you had questions on My Fair Lazy's Kindle availability. Currently there are a few publishing houses renegotiating their relationship with the e-book portion (but not traditional book portion) of Amazon, which means new titles aren't yet available for pre-order. This has everything to do with business and nothing to do with individual authors. The expectation is that this will be resolved soon, so I'm hoping that by the time MFL comes out, you'll be able to download it. I'll keep you posted, okay?
With that business out of the way, I have to tell you something that I've discovered. To backtrack, a lot of MFL has to do with getting me outside of my comfort zone. One of my big takeaways from writing this book has been to have more of a spirit of adventure. I tried tons of new stuff during the course of my research and I'm pleased to say that even though I'm no longer obligated to do so, I'm still trying.
A couple of months ago, Fletch and I began the process of buying a house. The first hurdle was getting approved for a mortgage. The mortgage broker was a huge sushi fan, so we met him at his favorite place. Now don't get me wrong, I like sushi but I'm generally more of a California Roll kind of girl. However, I'm even more of an I'd-like-to-finally-stop-paying-rent kind of girl, so when the broker ordered from the scary side of the menu, I didn't balk. And I tried every single thing set in front of me, including a big wad of raw quail egg covered umami... which is sea urchin.
As it turns out, I do not love umami, but in eating it I a) proved to myself that I could handle any food challenge that I might face were I ever to make it onto the show Survivor and b) secured a mortgage. Although we've yet to find a house to go along with the mortgage, I'm still pleased with myself for not being an enormous culinary wuss.
Then, several weeks ago, Fletch and I went out for a really great dinner. After seeing how I looked in the new book video, I realized it was time to get my diet back in check... yet me being me, I wanted to go out with a bang so we had dinner at Charlie Trotter's. I figured if we were going to have a food orgy anyway, we were going to do it up right. When the waiter asked if we had any dietary allergies or concerns, we confidently told him that we were up to try anything.
Note: never tell a waiter you're up to try anything.
Our dinner was fascinating and intricately prepared and plated. The first few courses boasted flavors and product I'd only heard about, like salsify and tile fish and umeboshi. For you fellow reality TV addicts, you know that umeboshi is a pickled Japanese plum. More importantly, it was almost Yaya's undoing during the commercial shoot in America's Next Top Model, Cycle Three. And since I hated Yaya, I was extra-pleased to enjoy the very taste that almost got her eliminated.
Dinner consisted of a variety of two-bite courses. We woofed each of them down and couldn't wait to see what was next. We laughed and toasted and practically licked our plates. We were content and self-congratulatory until we got to the diver sea scallop served on a bed of sauteed veal heart.
Veal heart.
Veal heart?
Wait, we wondered - is eating heart even legal? Fletch quickly ushered his scallop to the safety of the far end of his plate. However, I felt like I couldn't leave the restaurant without at least tasting everything, so I did.
Let me just say this about veal heart - if one of the best chefs in the world can't make something palatable to me, then it probably shouldn't be eaten. The heart wasn't as horrible as I expected, but it certainly wasn't anything I'd ever crave. Taste-wise, it was oddly tangy and reminded me of sauerbraten and in terms of texture, kind of like a portobello mushroom.
I took my bite and I chewed it and I swallowed it and I immediately put veal heart at the top of my Permanent Do Not Fly list.
The thing about eating veal heart is it stays with you, not so much as indigestion, at least not physical. It was more like philosophical indigestion. For the whole next day I was overwhelmed with feelings of guilt. I mean, dude... I ate something's HEART. That's just wrong. I already have such misgivings about veal, delicious though it may be, so dining on that which pumped its very lifeblood made me feel like Cruella Deville. I could not stop thinking about what I'd done. So, when I started my whole new system of healthy eating the following Monday I made a leap I thought I'd never take.
I've grounded myself from beef.
I haven't consumed one bite of red meat since March 29. And can I be honest here? As someone who ate beef for a good five dinners out of seven? I don't miss it.
To be clear, I don't believe eating beef is wrong and I wholeheartedly support the notion of the food chain. However, I initially took my beef break because I felt guilty. But as the days passed, I realized how much healthier I was eating because I'd eliminated it from my diet. Turns out beef is really my gateway drug. I mean, I can't have a burger without fries. I won't eat a filet without piling on melted bleu or goat cheese. And every beef dish is better with a side of something au gratined.
I'd only planned on my beef hiatus while I was getting ready for tour but the longer I'm off it, the more I realize something... there's a certain sense of smug self-satisfaction that comes from eschewing something most other people eat. I never knew this. I have to tell you, it feels kind of good. Suddenly the notion of, say, being vegan or following a complicated macrobiotic diet makes sense. I no longer want to bash into these folks with my shopping cart at Whole Foods.
Of course, until baby back ribs cease to exist, I'll never go completely completely militant in my diet. But at least I finally get it when other people do it.
I guess that lesson is really kind of what My Fair Lazy's all about... only it comes across with more stories about accidentally buying black tar heroin in Chinatown and less prosthelytizing.
Anyway, that's it for today and I can't wait to meet you guys in person!
