"I know! While Fletch is at Home Depot, I'll go down to the basement and bring up the table the old owners left! And I'll have it all set up with the new chairs [our only furniture until our official move on Monday] so we'll have someplace to sit that isn't the floor when he gets back!"
...
"This doesn't seem heavy at all! But the weird root-cellar-y door I'm supposed to take this out has a big spider on it. I'll just bring it up the regular basement stairs and through the house."
...
"Look at me rolling this bastard all the way across the basement! This is almost TOO easy."
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"Hmm. I don't recall the basement stairs having such an angle to them. No problem, I'll just use my geometry skills."
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"Oh, hey, remember when I was the only senior in the sophomore geometry class?"
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"Okay, okay, okay, got it. Now I just need to ease this out the basement door and... now I have a new geometry problem."
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"Perhaps we should have asked for a 'wider-door' homeowner credit."
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"Well, apparently shouting at the problem doesn't work."
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"Nor does swearing."
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"Or sweating."
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"What if I... nope."
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"How about I... no dice."
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"Would it be possible if... no. No, it would not."
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"Fine. I'll admit defeat. I'll just roll it back down and out."
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"And now out doesn't seem to be an option."
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"The more I try to shift it, the more it becomes wedged."
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"Fine. I can admit defeat. I'll just climb over it and have Fletch deal with it."
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"Alrighty, I'll try going under."
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"DAMN IT."
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"Academically, I knew I'd end up trapping myself somehow in the new house, as that's kind of my homerun swing. Like the time I was vacuuming and the big mirror fell on me and I got stuck under it and Fletch couldn't hear me screaming because of the vacuum. I guess I just wasn't expecting it to happen so soon."
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"Suddenly that spider doesn't seem so bad."
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BTW, this is what Fletch came home to:
"Surprise!"
