You're Going To Want To Win This, Seriously - WINNERS ANNOUNCED!

Thanks to all of you for participating! 

The big winner is...

Krista, who digs mocking her neighbor while he cuts his huge lawn with a weed wacker!  (Krista, I like your style!)  Also, I have your email address, so I've already sent you details on how to claim your prize.

For everyone else, I'm so sorry the comments got screwy (and pleased at Typepad's quick fix!)  As a thanks for your patience, I'm also awarding five second prizes and they go to...

Marissa, who's into all the flowers, especially the flowering trees

McKenzie, who loves the sun and thus, could never marry a Cullen (why do you hate sparkling vampires, McKenzie?)

CJ, who, among other things, enjoys playing with her pups along the Gulf coast, and less so enjoys having to take Allegra

Christine, with her white pants and orange tops (FYI, I've come around on orange, particularly for accessories)

And Shawn, who is secure enough in his manhood to know a good read when he sees one

I've also already emailed you guys.

Again, thanks for playing and I'll do this again when I receive more copies of Jeneration X!

* * *

It's that time of year again - the snow is gone (at least it better be, unless Mother Nature's angling for a punch in the neck), the birds are chirping, and the verdant land is pumping out so much pollen that it's practically impossible to step outdoors without an asthma inhaler.

Ah, spring!

With perpetually runny noses and stoner-grade red eyes, spring brings something else awesome... the first blush of the best summer beach reads.  Inevitably, this is when all of my favorite books of the year are published.

To celebrate the annual storing of the snow shovel, I'm giving away a stack of excellent summer reads!

The lucky winner of this giveaway will receive:

Sarah Pekkanen's These Girls

From the publisher's description:  Cate, Renee, and Abby have come to New York for very different reasons, and in a bustling city of millions, they are linked together through circumstance and chance.

Cate has just been named the features editor of Gloss, a high-end lifestyle magazine. It’s a professional coup, but her new job comes with more complications than Cate ever anticipated.

Her roommate Renee will do anything to nab the plum job of beauty editor at Gloss. But snide comments about Renee’s weight send her into an emotional tailspin. Soon she is taking black market diet pills—despite the racing heartbeat and trembling hands that signal she’s heading for real danger.

Then there’s Abby, whom they take in as a third roommate. Once a joyful graduate student working as a nanny part time, she abruptly fled a seemingly happy life in the D.C. suburbs. No one knows what shattered Abby—or why she left everything she once loved behind.

Pekkanen’s most compelling, true-to-life novel yet tells the story of three very different women as they navigate the complications of careers and love—and find the lifeline they need in each other.

 

But wait, there's more!  The winner will also receive:

Allison Winn Scotch's The Song Remains the Same

One of only two survivors of a plane crash, Nell Slattery wakes in the hospital with no memory of the horrific experience-or who she is, or was. Now she must piece together both body and mind, with the help of family and friends, who have their own agendas. She filters through photos, art, music, and stories, hoping something will jog her memory, and soon, in tiny bits and pieces, Nell starts remembering. . . .

It isn't long before she learns to question the stories presented by her mother, her sister and business partner, and her husband. In the end, she will discover that forgiving betrayals small and large will be the only true path to healing herself-and to finding happiness.

 

Which would be awesome if I stopped there, right?  And yet there's MORE!  How about I throw in a copy of...

Blogess Jenny Lawson's Let's Pretend This Never Happened

Jenny Lawson realized that the most mortifying moments of our lives—the ones we’d like to pretend never happened—are in fact the ones that define us. In Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson takes readers on a hilarious journey recalling her bizarre upbringing in rural Texas, her devastatingly awkward high school years, and her relationship with her long-suffering husband, Victor. Chapters include: “Stanley the Magical, Talking Squirrel”; “A Series of Angry Post-It Notes to My Husband”; “My Vagina Is Fine. Thanks for Asking”; “And Then I Snuck a Dead Cuban Alligator on an Airplane.” Pictures with captions (no one would believe these things without proof) accompany the text.

 

And that would all be plenty, yes?  Very satisfying and should keep you reading well into swimsuit season, yes?

But since this is all coming from my house anyway, how about I throw in an autographed copy (on one of those fancy bookplates) of my first novel If You Were Here?

Told in the uproariously entertaining voice readers have come to expect from Jen Lancaster (again, this is from the publisher's description - I've not taken to talking about myself in the third person) (yet), If You Were Here follows Amish-zombie-teen- romance author Mia and her husband Mac (and their pets) through the alternately frustrating, exciting, terrifying-but always funny-process of buying and renovating their first home in the Chicago suburbs that John Hughes's movies made famous. Along their harrowing renovation journey, Mia and Mac get caught up in various wars with the homeowners' association, meet some less-than-friendly neighbors, and are joined by a hilarious cast of supporting characters, including a celebutard ex- landlady. As they struggle to adapt to their new surroundings- with Mac taking on the renovations himself- Mia and Mac will discover if their marriage is strong enough to survive months of DIY renovations.

 

And, what the hell, may as well include my only (thus far) early copy of Jeneration X, too, which won't be available to the general public until May 1.  (Yes, I'll be sure to sign it, too, no worries!)

There's no clever summation up from my publisher about this book for me to cut and paste and I'm far too lazy to write one after having written the entire damn book, so let's just say this is my manifesto against hipsters, boomers, helicopter parents, assholes at Whole Foods, and anyone else who gets in my way.  (So trust me when I tell you that the bitch from Bitter is back.)

 

Seriously, best giveaway ever, right?

To win, all you have to do is leave a comment about your favorite part of spring.  No need to write an essay - just a couple of words to verify that you're not a robot or something.  I'll select the winner of this awesome stack o' beach reads via random number generator. 

In terms of fine print, one entry per person/IP address and valid only in the United States.  (Sorry, Canada!  Not my fault!)  I'll be accepting entries until 6:00 PM CST on Wednesday, April 11th.

If you don't win or care to purchase any of these fine books, they're available at fine retailers everywhere within the next week.  You can also check out the author's websites for purchasing options and more details about their writing.

Sarah Pekkanen

Allison Winn Scotch

Jenny Lawson

Thanks for playing, Happy Spring, and... may the odds be ever in your favor!

 

Comments

[Justine B]

Pool time!

[Shelly Harwood]

That it's almost SUMMER!!!! Yay!

[Alexis Mettler]

Getting to show off a pedicure

[Jenny Stocker]

Spring, when all the Cubs "fans" start partying in front of my house..conveniently located 2 blocks from Wrigley Field..

[Karen Wildberger]

Sno-cones!!

[Patti]

FLIP FLOPS!!!!! Also, the longer days are fantastic!

[Lorna]

Spring means only a few more weeks until outdoor festivals in Chicago :)

[Julie W]

I love the warmth!

[Carole K]

Redbud trees.

[Audra Blair]

Blossoming crab apple trees. Sort of like the cherry blossoms, but local. Thank you for the chance to win this spectacular collection of books!

[JenJ]

being able to leave the house without a jacket!

[Caroline]

Everything. Just everything.

[Kirsten OQuinn]

It's baseball season!!!!!!

[Kacey Lauer]

My favorite part of spring is watching my dog (a 90lb, lick you to death Rottweiler) "sun herself" on my back deck! Also, I love to watch her and my daughter chase bubbles in the yard! (The dog gets most of them!)

[Stephanie Stalnaker]

Baby Chicks at the feed store!

[April W]

The smell of flowers blooming and the ever present yellow pine pollen that is a true indicator of spring!

[Becky]

As long as there is no more snow, I'll deal with the stupid allergies!

[Kristin Hinchman]

My favorite part is listening to my 8 year old sniffle, cough, sneeze, and then clean up her bloody noses! Thanks!

[Connor]

No cold floors in the morning

[Kat B.]

Best part of spring is the end of the semester when all the college kids go home for the summer.

[Michelle Hammond]

Love my bleeding hearts blooming!

[Amy Wickett]

Tulips blooming!

[roxanne]

I love that I can throw the dogs in the back yard and let them run around like mad men! & I don't feel guilty for leaving them out for more than ten minutes in the freezing cold temps.

[Samantha]

Blooming trees and green grass!

[Lisa]

It's not as hot as summer and winter is over:):):)

[Theresa V.]

We're that much closer to summer!

[Abra Armstrong]

Cadbury Creme Eggs. I only eat the original flavor and I only eat them in the Spring (Haven't you ever wondered how long the ones you see in gas stations in the middle of Winter have been sitting around? Or where they were hiding the rest of the year?) They are my traditional birthday breakfast and they embody nostalgia for me in a way that no other candy can.

[Holli]

Longer hours of daylight so I don't feel like a mole person after work!

[Jen D.]

My favorite part of spring are floaty summer dresses and open-toed sandals. :)

[Darlene]

Spring = Tulips!!

[Michele Goodpaster]

I enjoy spring because the grass starts to grow. Which means I have to cut it. This, of course, requires me to wear a face mask ( the kind people in airports wear because they don't want to catch bird flu) since if I don't the following day I will sound like James Earl Jones with a head cold. My neighbors see the mowing freak show and are reminded why they nod hello and don't speak to me. I really appriciate that they do not speak to me. :)

[kara]

Everything is new!

[Amy H.]

Fewer rain showers, seeing the sun again, flowers, longer days, and outside play time for my kids and my puppy!

[Becky]

I'm just glad I can turn off the heat and not pay the crazy electric bill for a while.

[Celeste Marcks]

Floating bar season! Cocktails on barges!

[Melissa Bowen]

Barbecues on the patio with friends and a bottle a wine.

[Mag B]

Not having to wear a coat!

[Melissa G]

I love the smell of the lilacs and other flowers blooming.....until I'm sneezing so violently that my neighbors think I'm having a seizure.

[Elizabeth]

Snow goes away. Humans and pets outside.

[Tristan Malone]

We still get cool breezes( which makes it easier to forget that in the summer it'll be so hot even the crack of our bums will be sweating)

[Leigh-Anne]

I love that spring means longer days and more time outside!

[Denise]

Spring is the start of flip flop season!

[DeLynn Howard]

Because it's not winter.... :)

[Rachel Lovelace]

easter candy on sale! ;)

[Kelly Smith]

The fact that in Upstate NY we had virtually no winter. Yay!

[Cristine Christoff]

Love that everything is starting to bloom and its one step closer to SUMMER!!!

[Hayley]

Bluebells in the woods back home and daffodils. :-)

[Robin]

Pink dogwoods blooming.

[KATHY ASHE]

All that lovely flourescent green pollen we get in Georgia, OD'ing on antihistamines, & the saucer magnolia trees blooming!

[Ali]

Daffodils & Grape Hyacinths blooming in tandem