jennsylvania

Balance Is Bullshit Core Conversation Details

For those of you at SXSW this week, here are the details for my core conversation tomorrow with bestselling author/blogger Stephanie Klein:

Blogging is a constant balancing act of creating new content, networking, marketing, monetizing and keeping up on the latest social media trends. It also leaves little room to have an offline social life. Popular bloggers will share their secrets on why balance is bullshit and how they really get it all...

The session begins at 12:30 PM in Room 8A at the Austin Convention Center. 

 

Book signing for SXSW attendees following at 1:50 PM in the South By Bookstore on the 4th floor of the Convention Center and continues for half an hour.

 

Hope to see you tomorrow!

FAQ Me

So it's come to this.

The dreaded auto-response.

Anyone who's emailed me in the past few days has received a form letter back saying how I love hearing from you but I'm on deadline and I don't have the bandwidth to respond to every single email personally.  I'm so sorry; it's such a douche move.  I fully appreciate the only reason I have a deadline right now is because you guys read my books and I can't thank you enough... yet the time issue remains. 

A lot of what I find in your emails are questions - about book tours, about what I'm writing next, about how my friends in NOLA are doing, about whatever happened to my rehabbing neighbor, etc.  Until I get caught up, how about we split the difference?  In the comments, feel free to ask whatever it is you've wanted to know and in a few days I'll post the answers to your most frequently asked questions.

Cool?

Until I'm back to posting more frequently, please check out the following:

Caprice - She's one of my favorite authors and now she's making short films.  Visit her MySpace page to find out more about her books or watch Passing the Time.  (Saw it yesterday and loved it!)

Jennifer C. - She's a big reason I'm on deadline right now, so stop by and say hey!

Brenda - Author of Monkey Love, one of my favorite books from last year.  Monkey Star, her new book, is out now!

Ducky - Has somehow tapped directly into my brain to cover the best TV has to offer this summer.

Jezebel -  If Gawker and The Superficial had a baby, it would be Jezebel.  And she is beautiful... without airbrushing.

Thanks!

My Love, Let Me Share It

Yesterday I got tagged by the enormously talented Allison Winn Scotch and I've been tasked to name the bloggers who "when you reflect on them, you get a sense of pride and joy... of knowing them and being blessed by them."  Instead of arguing with her that my posts are normally filled with profanity, mockery, and puerile humor, I'm just going to accept the compliment and play along because she's someone I really respect.

This would be a lot easier to accomplish if I'd update my links list already - I could cut and paste and be done before you know it because I dig everyone on my computer's bookmarks list.  Then I could spend the rest of this entry describing all the tattoos I saw at the public pool yesterday or why I'm completely obsessed with Big Brother 8.  (Alas, I'm not that organized.)  (Nor do I have that kind of time.)  (And Jameka, how is exclaiming, 'God is gangsta!' not totally blasphemous?)

I could direct you to the five blogs I refresh seventeen times a day, specifically those belonging to Susie, Martha, Amy, Quinn, and Melissa, but I've recommended each of them more times than I can remember and at this point I suspect you guys are all, "Yeah, we KNOW they rock, alright?"  Or I could send you to the various LOLcat, celebrity gossip, and Big Brother update sites I read, except these are less "inspiring" and more "capable of sucking away an entire afternoon."

So, I'm tagging some of the ladies I met when I crashed the BlogHer cocktail reception this weekend.  Not only do these gals inspire the whole pride/joy/blessing business, but they're damn fun, particularly after swimming in a vat of gin.

The Cheeky Lotus - Team Mamapop represents!  Lena didn't even flinch when my opening line to her was, "What the fuck is going on with your house?"  See?  That's what happens when your writing is engaging to the point I can't wait to read what's next.  (It's also why you shouldn't leave me hanging on whether or not your home sold when you leave for the weekend to attend a blogging conference.)  I read all her blogs religiously and recommend you do the same.  I promise you won't be sorry.   

Joy Unexpected - I've been following Yvonne for years because I love her humor and her honesty.  She's even more delightful (and cute!) in person than she is online.  This is neatly evidenced by the fact she smiled the whole time I was shoving her and shouting "Shut up!" - my standard vehicle of enthusiastic expression after two drinks - never once reminding me she has a neck injury.  Also, she throws a damn fine party... cheeseburgers?  Genius. 

Suburban Turmoil - Friendly to the extent that I almost didn't hate her for being so lovely.  (Almost.)  Then she opened her mouth and was all clever and articulate, thus making the hate impossible.  Her blog makes me feel smarter for having read it and now I wish I hadn't officially boycotted BlogHer so we could have spent more time together. 

Mommy Needs Coffee -  You'd think I'd run from any sort of blog with "Mommy" in the title, wouldn't you?  But there's a huge difference between "Mommybloggers" and mothers with blogs and Jenn's an excellent example of the latter.  We totally clicked upon meeting and now she and I have Something Planned once I finish my manuscript - details to come when we get closer to that point. 

No Pasa Nada -  Claims to have accosted me about my political affiliations, of which I have no recollection.  I only remember smiling, laughing, and admiring her truly magnificent hair.  Regardless, her blog is fantastic and so worth reading.  But she makes me wonder - with this kind of self-awareness and wit at 23, how much more is she going to be able to have accomplished by the time she's my age?  Oh, yeah, she'll probably be running the country - maybe that's why she wanted to know how I vote?

Again, this is only a partial list of the inspiring folks I talked to on Saturday.  Honestly, I met so many funny, interesting people that I regret having crashed the party in a shirt with wine stains on it.

I've got to crank out some pages now since I played hooky at the pool yesterday.  I won't be blogging for a few days while I catch up, so please use use the comments section to discuss the blogs/bloggers you dig the most. 

(Or name the best Big Brother update sites - 'cause I'm down for that, too.)

Blogs to Boots

First, some reminders of upcoming stuff: 

June 6th – I'll be on NBC 10's show 10! at, um, 10:00 AM in Philadelphia. Will I stammer and sweat less than when I was on WGN?  Will I be fined by the FCC for dropping accidental f-bombs? Tune in and find out! 

June 6th – I'll be reading and signing at the Rittenhouse Barnes & Noble, 1805 Walnut Street, Philadelphia, PA at 7:30 PM.   

June 7th – I'll be reading and signing again at the Astor Place Barnes & Noble, 4 Astor Place, New York, NY at 7:00 PM and there are drinks to be had afterwards... regardless of what Jenny Craig says.  (Apparently seventeen dirty martinis are BAD for you.) 

June 10th – I'll be reading, signing, and “in conversation” with Stacey Ballis on the B&N Heartland Stage at Printer's Row in Chicago, IL at 11:00 AM.  Come if for no reason other than ROBIN GIVENS appears right after us! 

July 27th, 28th, and/or 29th – I will not be at that convention and instead will be having drinks at the Four Seasons on one of those days with anyone interested in hearing my advice on turning blogs into books.  (Specifics TBA.)   

Because of the above, this would be an excellent place to post a photo of me posing with the new car with the caption “Knows nothing about turning blogs to books, and yet...” but I am not petty.   

OK, yes, I am totally petty; I just don't have an actual picture of it, but it looks kind of like this.  (The great irony is the only places I've driven it so far are to my trainer and to Jenny Craig.  Also, I gave myself a touch of whiplash because my neck can't handle the fine, fine Bavarian acceleration. Hey, look at me - I'm a human bobblehead!)   

Anyway, I'm thrilled not because we're a two car family again or because I'm no longer trapped in the house every day while Fletch has the car at work, but because this is tangible proof of how hard we've worked for the past four years.  Being able to get financing directly from the car manufacturer probably doesn't seem like a big deal to most adults, but considering where we've been, this is a gigantic leap forward.   

In other news, our old car is now housed on the street and within the first twelve hours of being parked there, it got booted.  One of our neighbors didn't recognize our car (despite the fact I've waved hello to her from it every time I've driven by on the way to my garage for the past two years) and called the police to say it belonged to one of the kids who go to school around the corner.  The police came and found our car legally parked with a permit.  So they didn't waste a trip, they ran a search of all the cars we've ever registered and found three outstanding tickets Fletch had from five years/three cars ago, and we got booted.  We immediately paid the old tickets online and then spent two days arguing with a bunch of city employees who said we didn't have a boot on our car because there were no tickets against this car in the system.  Aarrggh. 

Long story short, all is fine now and the boot is finally off.  However, what really makes me mad is we can't get the police to come when we call 911, and yet they have all the time in the world to find a way to ticket an innocent car.  At least now I know the next time there's a knife fight in front of my house or kids are selling drugs or vagrants are breaking into a construction site, I can call to report an illegally parked automobile and a cruiser will be there lickety-split. 

Also, I'm never waving to that fucking neighbor again.

Don't Sour Grapes Make the Best Wine?

From the 2007 BlogHer Session Schedule, which takes place this summer in Chicago: 

Book to Blog and Back Again

Let's talk tactics: what does it take to get your blog turned into a book.  What are agents and publishers looking for?  What about self-publishing?  And then once you have a book, how can your blog augment and enhance the book and help its sales?  Denise Wakeman moderates a discussion with people on both sides of the aisle when it comes to Blog/Book opportunity, including blogger/author Ariel Meadow Stallings. 

I guess despite going back to press ten times and having over 100,000 copies in print of Bitter alone, I'm still too much of a dork to sit at the cool bloggers' table in the lunchroom because my offer to participate in this session was summarily rejected.   

BlogHer? You are dead to me. 

If anyone to wants to hear my take on the whole blogs-to-books thing, I'll be holding court in the bar at the Four Seasons, time and date TBA.   

P.S.  Everyone is welcome at my table.   

(Edited to Add:  Apparently all the speakers weren't set for the above session and if I'd have read the whole website with that disclaimer, I'd have known it, and should not have jumped to conclusions based on, you know, the printed course description that a handful of you sent me, asking why I wasn't included.  My plans for the Four Seasons remain the same.)