jennsylvania

The Last Blast of Summer Giveaway - UPADTED WITH WINNER!

UPDATE:  And the winner is... Jackie Nelson!  Jackie, I'll be emailing you shortly to get your shipping info.  For everyone else, thanks for playing and happy reading!

* * *

I'm now halfway through the second book in the Game of Thrones series and I'm pretty much driving Fletch crazy at this point with all my talk of Imps and smallfolk and kingslayers. 

When I called him for dinner by suggesting he join me in sharing meat and mead, he begged me to please, for the love of God, read something else.

And I will.  Eventually.

So, if due to my George R.R. Martin suggestion, you're making your own bannermen family nutty, I offer you this small fix:

 

I'm giving away this collection of fun beach reads today to one lucky winner to enjoy before the summer's over.  I love each of these books so much - Beth Harbison's story is witty, soulful, and introspective (with bonus '80s nostalgia, so you know I'm all about that,) Celia Rivenbark is my liberal Southern soul sister, and Laurie Notaro not only invented/perfected the funny essay but continues to raise the bar.

To enter, write the phrase "Winter is coming"in the comments section.  That's it.  Nothing more, nothing less.  Entries will close at 5:00 PM CST and I'll pick a winner by random number generation.  One entry per person/IP address and void where prohibited and all that jazz.

Good luck! 

Now I've got to go see a man about a dragon... 

The (Mid)August Reading List

One of the best things I've ever read isn't a book at all. 

Rather, it's a journal post by Neil Gaiman and it includes the greatest line ever written:

George R.R. Martin is not your bitch.

Okay, fine, feel free to argue that other authors have tossed out a few better one liners, e.g. "It was the best of times; it was the worst of times," or  "Happy families are all alike, every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."  But personally, no other line has spoken to me more as an author, which is why I quote it all the damn time. 

Honestly, I get frustrated when readers complain about my not writing enough... or enough of what they want.  You'd be shocked at the vitriol in some of the mail I've received about If You Were Here.  There's a small faction who are completely incensed at my having penned a novel instead of another memoir. 

But here's the thing - Fletch and I have worked so hard to create a normal, secure life.  We've made the kind of decisions that specifically insure that crazy shit happens a whole lot less often.  For example, we bought a house where we wouldn't have run-ins with our neighbors because I don't actually enjoy having run-ins with our neighbors.  (Of course, Fletch does.  But fortunately, lawn maintenance has become his ad hoc nemesis, so it's all good.) 

Point?  Our lives are calm (ergo boring) by design.

Another drawback is that in having had some publishing success, I'm no longer completely anonymous.  That's limiting.  Were I to write a scathing chapter about an interaction, there's a chance the person I wrote about is going to read it, and I'll be honest, I'm not in the business of intentionally hurting people's feelings.  I'm enough of a jerk naturally without actually trying to be one.

Also, if I were to, say, describe business details that have bothered me, like exactly what I think about the (allegedly, of course) thieving, cheating, conniving, dirt-bag from whom we rented our last house and whom I Google all the damn time in order to track his downfall and whom I would hit with a sock full of oranges given the opportunity, I could be sued.  Not a big fan of lawsuits. 

So I have to do a lot more self-editing, thus my pool of stories has gotten smaller.  That's why I had so much fun writing If You Were Here.  I loved being able to tell true tales, twisting them just enough as to not be incriminating.  Plus, there was the whole "make shit up" element which happens to be far more convenient than simply sticking to reality. 

Anyway, not to worry, I have more memoirs on tap!  

All that I'm saying is I had to be ready to write them.  And, in no small part due to the creative exercise of If You Were Here, I am.

Which brings me to George R.R. Martin.

As I've been quoting a line about him for almost two years, I figured I might want to finally read him.  I didn't know a thing about his work, except that people were batty for it.  (And the trailer for the HBO series seemed intriguing.)

When I read that the Stark and Lannister families in A Game of Thrones; A Song of Fire and Ice were loosely representative of the folks involved in the War of the Roses, I was in.  Rumor has it that I'm a direct descendant of the House of Lancaster and that's just bad-ass. 

Granted, my grandfather told me this and he also used to talk up Moon Island, the place where everything you flushed went, so he may or may not have been the greatest source of accurate information. 

(He was right about Nova Scotia being a real place though.) 

(Did not know that until junior high school geography.)

(Embarrassing!)

(Sorry, Canada!)

Moving on.

I started the book with some trepidation because fantasy is not my genre.  I'm way more likely to purchase something with shoes on the cover than I am dragons or swords.  But I gave the first couple of chapters a chance and I'm so glad that I did because I'm simply enthralled with everything I've read.

George R.R. Martin pretty much yanked me into his world and he's yet to let me go.  That's why this is the one and only book on August's list.  At 807 pages, it's pretty much the only thing that I've been reading.

What won me over is Martin's fearlessness.  Along with not being your bitch, George R.R. Martin is also not afraid to do what other books don't.  Where other authors would hesitate to kill off a popular character (man or animal), Martin has no problem doing so. 

Taboo subjects?  Oh, he goes there. 

Big time. 

And my sort-of namesake, the Lannisters? 

Apparently I'm descended from a long ling of assholes.   

I've been so mesmerized by his work, I keep telling Fletch that I want to, like, ride around in George R.R. Martin's beard for a couple of weeks, just to get an idea of how he thinks.  Of course, I've been yammering about this book and the noble houses of Westeros and chain mail so much that Fletch asked if I want to borrow his old 20-sided dice. 

You know what?  If Dungeons and Dragons is anything like this, I just might.  Comic-Con, here I come!

So I guess what I'm saying is that even though George R.R. Martin is not your bitch... I may be his.

 

Happy reading!

Summer Reading List: Melanoma, I Mean, July Edition

You know how I'm always saying my goal is to be homeless tan? 

Well, over the weekend, my friend Kramer pointed out that "homeless tan" would mean a deeply bronzed face and hands, with everything else pasty from the neck down. 

So now I can't say that any more. 

Yet at the moment my tan is... prompting strangers to comment about how dark it is.  I'm even using sunscreen with the SPF factor of flannel, but considering I'm pretty much living outside (save for sleeping and watching The Secret Life of the American Teenageron Netflix) I guess this is what happens.

A good 90% of my outdoors time entails me propped up on a float by my elbows, drifting around while reading a book.  On days when I don't have meetings or deadlines, I've been inhaling entire books in one sitting floating.

My most recent one-day conquest, and the coincidentally, the first recommendation on this month's list is Girl in Translation by Jean Kwok.

 

I'd seen this cover around for a while, but I finally bought it because Jean Kwok had been on book tour right before me and I kept getting drivers who'd just been with her.  Because I trend a bit hyper-competitive asshole, I had to pick it up and see what it was about.  Fortunately, my hyper-competitive assholishness often leads me to fascinating books (same thing happened with The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks) and I can't imagine having a better poolside read.

The novel follows the young life of Kim Chang, a gifted child who immigrates from Hong Kong with her mother.  She has to balance her academic pursuits at an exclusive prep school while helping her mother work in a sweatshop.  What I loved so much about this story is that the author came from Hong Kong and worked with her own family in a sweatshop before attending Harvard and then Columbia.  Every word felt so authentic that the day slipped away from me while I was living in Kim's world.  I'd recommend this book to anyone, but if you're a fan of Amy Tan, you'll especially appreciate the same kind of cross-cultural conflicts and lyrical wordplay.

Next up, Groundswell by Katie Lee.

 

This was another one-sitting read for me.  I was lucky enough to preview an early copy and I spent a bitter, gray, snowy day in February reading this with endless cups of tea, reveling in Lee's descriptions of the warm, sunny, pale sand beaches of Mexico.

This is the story of a regular gal who ends up falling in love/marrying an A-list actor, only to lose him to infidelity.  What adds a layer of intrigue to this tale is the author herself - Katie Lee is former Katie Lee Joel, Billy's ex.  I loved trying to figure out who and what was actually real.  But even without the inside-baseball aspect of it, the story of finding redemption in the breaking waves is reason enough to enjoy it.

Speaking of beaches, I've got to include Beauty Queensby Libba Bray on this list.

 

I picked it up because I liked the cover, but I bought it because the book jacket summary won me over.  I can't properly sum it up, so here's the Amazon description:

Teen beauty queens. A Lost-like island. Mysteries and dangers. No access to email. And the spirit of fierce, feral competition that lives underground in girls, a savage brutality that can only be revealed by a journey into the heart of non-exfoliated darkness. Oh, the horror, the horror! Only funnier. With evening gowns. And a body count.

Technically, this is a YA book, although it deals with some adult themes.  Also, you may need to be an adult to fully appreciate the pop culture references and scathing social satire.  Finally, don't try this one on an e-reader because it's got footnotes and some other stylized pages and you'll really want the paper version to experience it all.  All that being said, this is the book I mentioned on Facebook as being Arrested Development-level good.  Seriously, it's brilliant.  Trust me on this one.

Later this month, I'm going to do a special reading list with books from three of my friends/favorite writers - Caprice Crane, Laurie Notaro, and Beth Harbison, as they all have stuff coming out around the end of July.  Expect to see a giveaway of these items as well!

As for now, I've finished my chores for the day, I've got early copies of books by Stacey Ballis, Anna David, and Val Frankel, and we're about to hit peak tanning hours, so...

SPLASH!

Summer Reading List, Part The First

It's 80 degrees with a cloudless sky, there's a sparkly pool outside, and last night I finally got to switch my thermostat from heat to air conditioning.

As today's the perfect day for a beach read, I'm not going to screw around by putting out an enormous list as I want to actually BE in the sun working through my own personal reading list. 

So, today's choices of summer reads should bring you up to July, when I'll put out the second part of the reading list, followed by a third list in August.  Many of my favorite new books (With a Little Luck by Caprice Crane, Always Something There to Remind Me by Beth Harbison, Then There Was You by Jennifer Weiner) aren't out 'til mid to late summer, so I don't want to taunt you with excellent reads you can't yet get, hence multiple lists.

(Please note that I have the best job in the world because I often get to read early copies of great books.) 

Anyway, cool?  Cool.  Let's do this.

First up, The First Husband by Laura Dave. 

 

If you didn't already fall in love with Dave's crisp dialogue and thoughful character studies in London Is the Best City in America and The Divorce Party, prepare to be completely won over in this tale of what happens when one woman's happily ever after veers wildly off course.  Smart, unexpected, and dead-on witty, I just inhaled this book.  Laura Dave's novels embody everything that's great about contemporary women's fiction and I can't recommend her enough.

Next, The Wilder Life by Wendy McClure.



I know for a fact that a bunch of you are obsessed with Laura Ingalls Wilder because you told me so back this spring when I did that whole "tell me something no one knows about you" thing.  In McClure's memoir, she spends a couple of years researching who the real Laura Ingalls was, examining sources everywhere from academic tomes to neighborhood gossip.  This is a must read for any Little House fan, yet it's so much more than that, too.  It's sweet and sentimental and in some spots, completely scathing.  Pick this up if for no reason other than the scene where McClure and her hipster boyfriend find themselves in the middle of a homesteading weekend with a band of live-off-the-grid fundamentalists.  (You'll thank me.)

And now we're on to Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me by, Chelsea's friends and family.

 

Granted Ms. Handler doesn't need my stamp of approval and, honestly, a lot of times I'll pick up stuff like this specifically to find fault with them because I'm a hypercompetitive asshole.  But damn it, I thought this book was a riot.  Basically it's a collection of stories written by Handler's friends and co-workers about all the ways in which Chelsea's screwed with them.  Imagine Jackass if it were a memoir written with a female perspective.  If this book doesn't make you want to throw on your swimsuit, whip up a pitcher of margaritas, and mess with your friends, then you're reading it wrong.

Finally, you'll have to wait a couple of weeks for this one, but it's totally worth it, Maine by J. Courtney Sullivan.

 

This doesn't come out until June 14th, but it would be worth it to pre-order your copy now because I feel like this the novel everyone's going to be reading this summer.  Sullivan, who you might know from her fab debut novel Commencement, is brilliant at telling stories from a variety of female perspectives.  Whereas her last book examined the dynamics of friendships, this one turns a critical eye to multi-generational family relationships.  Set against the backdrop of the unforgiving Maine coastline, she paints portraits so vivid, you can practically smell the salt spray and Coppertone.

And that's it for the first of three summer lists. 

If you'll excuse me, I've got a date with a lawn chair and the fifth book of Melissa de la Cruz's YA Blue Bloods series...

Happy reading and an even happier Memorial Day!!

 

Yeah, I'm Going There... TEAM SNOOKI

So... apparently I'm not the only one working on a novel.

Snooki's writing a book, too, titled A Shore Thing.

The second the announcement was made, every literary blog and pop culture site exploded, mostly with speculation on whether or not Snooki has even read a book.  (According to the New York Times, she has.  Snooki's library contains Twilight and Dear John.)

Per the S & S press release, the novel will "revolve around a girl looking for love on the boardwalk - one full of big hair, dark tans, and fights galore."

In each article I've read, this is the point where everyone starts trash-talking Snooki and Simon & Schuster and bemoaning the state of publishing.

I'm not going to do that because I don't see this book as being a harbinger of the apocalypse.

Now I can understand why other writers might be upset at the notion of Snooki getting a book deal.  I mean, this is the girl who didn't know what to do with chicken once it fell on the floor.  (Hint: throw it away.)  But Snooki won't be writing A Shore Thing alone.  I don't have firsthand confirmation on this particular project, but books of this nature almost always have a ghostwriter.  Sometimes the ghostwriter does everything, sometimes they get ideas from the celebrity and flesh them out on their own, and sometimes it's a true collaboration.  My point is a skilled ghostwriter will not only be proficient in putting together a coherent narrative but also in replicating Snooki's voice so well that Snooki may not even realize she didn't write all of it.  (Oh, and by the way?  Often ghostwriters have successful literary careers outside of their celebrity books.) 

I imagine Snooki will have a lot to say in terms of characters, setting, details, etc.  If the axiom is to write what you know, then her input will be invaluable.  And Snooki's aggressive cluelessness is charming on the wildly successful Jersey Shore so her ghostwriter should be able to capture that quality and translate it onto the page. 

And where's the crime in producing a light, fun beach read, anyway? 

As for Simon & Schuster's role, they likely paid a tidy sum to get this book.  I imagine this fact makes a whole lot of serious authors want to open a vein.  However, with the sales A Shore Thing will garner, S & S is pretty much guaranteed an enviable profit.  Snooki's deal doesn't preclude an unknown author from getting a shot.  Rather, by publishing a profitable book, there will be more funds in the coffers to allow S & S to take chances on unknown writers.  A rising tide raises all boats. 

Books like Twilight and Dear John are the kind of novels that get people to read who might not normally pick up a book. 

I'll bet A Shore Thing will do the same. 

So, please, let's not be so quick to denigrate any enterprise that encourages reading... and authors getting paid.

 

What's In Your Beach Bag? Yet Another Sequel, Misc. Edition

Before I get to my final round of slightly more esoteric beach reads, I've got to address a recent Twitter comment.  Someone sent me a tweet along the lines of, "Sigh... I long for the days when your summer reading suggestions weren't about cross-promotion."

Oh.  Really.

My initial response was to tweet back, "Sigh... and go fuck yourself with a very sharp, cross-promotional stick," but I've been trying to conduct myself in a more professional, less profane (possibly less psychotic) manner.  Also, although this statement addresses my sentiment, it doesn't adequately explain why this tweet made me angry.

First, if I'm "cross-promoting" anyone, it's because I honestly enjoy and endorse their writing.  And if I know them, the chances are good I met them because I'm a fan.  If an author's work moves me or makes me laugh, I'll email them or friend them on Facebook.  Sometimes I'll go to their signings.  Most authors aren't J.D. Salinger - they want to meet their peers.  We communicate and connect with each other because we're in a complicated business; we lean on each other and share advice and rally together to support new players.

I've paid for every book on this list except for a couple and that's only because their editors or agents sent me copies before I had the chance to buy them myself.  We tend to be friends with each other because it's the nature of the business.  And part of being friends is supporting ones friends.  That's why we actually spend our own money on one another's work and why we often buy multiple copies to give away on our websites.  Like, you know how waitresses are always the best tippers?  Same principle.  But apparently this gal on Twitter has confused "karma" with "conspiracy." 

As for "the days when [my] summer reading suggestions weren't about cross-promotion" I just looked at my recommendations from 2009.  Out of last year's authors, I'd either read an advance copy or met the author in person in every single case, whereas I only know about half the folks on this year's list.  On previous lists, I run about 50/50 on authors I know.  So I'm not doing a goddamed thing differently now than I've ever done. 

Finally, on all the books I've mentioned over the years, maybe two of them have been on my label, the NAL imprint.  Believe me when I say there's zero pressure from my publisher to talk up their books.  Generally, when I get free copies of anything, they come from my friends who edit for competitors.  Even that's fairly rare. 

I guess the bottom line is this - I worked too hard to build a name and reputation for myself and the last thing I'd to do is abuse readers' trust because I owe someone a "cross-promotional" favor.  I get very angry when my integrity is questioned in a public forum, particularly when the Twitter accuser doesn't even have her facts straight. 

And that's why I Twitter-blocked the bitch.

Okay, so maybe I'm not quite professional yet.  But I didn't unleash an unholy army on her, so it's a step in the right direction.  Anyway, speaking of unholy armies, let's talk about zombie books.

ZOMBIE BOOKS

Apparently I love zombie books.  Zombies are totally the new angst-ridden teenage vampires.

 
Road Trip of the Living Dead by Mark Henry:  Mark Henry is a deeply twisted individual and I mean that in the best possible sense.  He's the one who made me realize I dug zombie books in the first place.  That's likely because his undead socialite heroine Amanda Feral is sort of the Bitter Is the New Black version of me... if I ate brains.  Does his writing get a little blue?  Yes.  Is it a bit gory in parts?  Yes.  Does he make me laugh out loud?  HELL, YES.  I absolutely adore every word Henry writes.  I realize zombie books aren't for everyone, but if you're so inclined, this is a great place to start.

 
The Forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan:  I met Carrie at my book event in North Carolina.  When we chatted, she mentioned she was a writer.  She was so causal and low key about it that at no point did I realize that meant she was a NY Times best selling author.  (Me?  I slip that fact in every chance I get.)  (See?  I just did it again.)  Anyway, I downloaded her book that night and now I totally see why fans loved it.  The story is a more literaryTwilight meets M. Night Shymalan's The Village meets Dawn of the Dead.  Although the book is technically for young adults, there's all this amazing subtext about the state of society and organized religion that really captured my imagination.  Even though her zombies aren't Prada-wearing, cocktail-swilling smart-mouths like Henry's, I found the story no less riveting.

Knowing now that I dig the genre, I'm excited to see what else I discover.

YOUNG ADULT

Good writing is good writing; that's why I pick up the occasional YA book.  Novels don't need to be about me, or my situation, or my generation to be a great read.

 
An Off Year by Claire Zulkey:  In this novel, Zulkey chronicles protagonist Cecily's decision to not attend her freshman year of college.  Of course, she only comes to this conclusion once she reaches her new dorm, with her tuition paid and her entire life packed up in the trunk of her family car.  This coming of age story chronicles exactly what it's like to be trapped in that odd gap between childhood and adulthood.  There's no magical realism or big, happy coincidences, or sappy Hollywood ending.  Simply, this is a story that's so honest and direct that it's hard to believe it's not a memoir and it's a must-read for any parent about to send their kids to college.  (Or for anyone who just wants to get lost in a good book.)

 
Getting Revenge on Lauren Wood by Eileen Cook:  I love that Cook, one of my favorite chick lit authors, is now doing YA.  Her book is a perfect example of how hell hath no fury like a teenager scorned.  In it, the heroine's shamed so badly in junior high that she has to leave town, reinvents herself, and comes back years seeking revenge.  The book has just enough Mean Girls in it to be familiar but enough of Cook's quick wit to feel like an entirely new concept.  Now someone please quick make this into a movie because poor Lindsay Lohan could really use the work.

 
The Carrie Diaries by Candace Bushnell:  I saw Bushnell in Dallas in May and I wish I'd thought to ask her this next question.  She's gotten some criticism about her book on teenage Carrie Bradshaw.  Uber-fans have complained that the action in this story doesn't always line up stuff mentioned on the show, e.g. her first love.  I wonder how she handles this?  Is she all, "It's my goddamned book, my goddamned characters, and I'll create the back-story I want!"  (I suspect that's how I'd be.)  Regardless, I had such fun following Young Carrie's escapades and loved how Bushnell subtly showed the source of all of Adult Carrie's proclivities.  And the last page of the book could not have been more awesome.  Trust me on this.

In terms of full disclosure, I do know all of the authors on today's list.  Sort of.  I've met Bushnell three times and but as she continues to have no idea who I am, I'm pretty sure she doesn't count.

That's it for the 2010 summer cross-promoting reading list.

Enjoy!

Or sigh.

Your call.

What's In Your Beach Bag? The Sequel, Fiction Edition

Is there anything more satisfying than a day full of sun, sand, surf, the smell of Coppertone, and a good book?

No.  No, there isn't.

Oh, don't give me that "birth of my child" or "graduating from law school" business.  I'm trying to make a point about summer reading.  Besides, having a kid is more of a one-to-four-times-in-a-lifetime kind of deal (unless you're a Duggar or an alley cat) whereas spending the day at the beach with an enthralling read is possible every single day... provided you have the right book.

Anyway, today I'm all about fresh, fun summer fiction. 

First up, my friend Maureen...

Not Ready for Mom Jeans by Maureen Lipinski:  One wouldn't think I'd be into a book about motherhood because I'm pretty sure the state would get involved should Fletch and I ever choose to reproduce.  The logical question is if I'm not a mom, why would I read about them?  Yeah, well, I'm also not a vampire, werewolf, or stupid teenage girl, yet I dig the Twilight series.  My point is I don't have to be a newly minted parent struggling to balance it all to appreciate Lipinski's quick wit or engaging narrative.  The bonus here is this book is a sequel to the equally charming A Bump in the Road, although you don't have to have read it first.  Rather, once you crack the spine and find yourself enamored by Lipinski's writing, you can go back and check out the first.  Win-win, people.  Win-win.

In related news, I have four autographed copies of Mom Jeans to give away and will do so as soon as I think of a contest that won't be too taxing for Fletch to organize.

 

Spooky Little Girl by Laurie Notaro:  We all love Notaro's memoirs like The Idiot Girls' Action Adventure Club and We Thought You Would Be Prettier, yes?  What you might not know is Notaro's were among the first memoirs I ever read.  Before her, I never knew you could just write funny stories about your life AND PEOPLE MIGHT BUY THEM.  Let me tell you, that revelation changed everything.  I was thrilled to finally thank her for the inspiration in person a couple of years ago.  (We had grilled cheese sandwiches together; it was awesome!) 

But today's about fiction, so lucky for us, Notaro obliged by writing her second novel and going "magical realism" all over our asses.  (Magical realism may be my favorite subset of fiction.)  Spooky Little Girl explores the afterlife once the heroine meets her "surprise demise."  The story's full of Notaro's trademark humor and tons of heart.  There's a bit about the dog that made me cry, but the ending makes it all worthwhile.  If you're happy that I have a career, thank Laurie by picking up a copy.

 

The One That I Want by Allison Winn Scotch:  Remember when I went on and on about The Department of Lost and Found?  And couple of years after that I was all about Time of My Life?  Yes?  Well, Winn Scotch is back with an enthralling read about a woman who thinks she has everything she wants in life... until she gets the "gift" of clairvoyance and sees that her perfect life isn't as good as it seems.  Every women's magazine has this as one of their summer book picks, so I'm not the only one who got wrapped up in this story.  On top of that, Winn Scotch is in the process of running a kick-ass contest where one lucky reader can win more than twenty different autographed copies of books by some of the most loved names in women's fiction.  Check out details on how to enter here!

 

The Opposite of Me by Sarah Pekkanen:  Lately my Kindle's been tricking me into buying YA and Christian novels.  Well, the joke's on them because I've enjoyed most of what they suggested (although I did wonder at first why none of the characters in them ever swore or hooked up.)  However, it seems the books I find most satisfying are the ones suggested by authors I respect.  So when I saw that Winn Scotch, Beth Harbison, and Jennifer Weiner were singing this book's praises, that's all the persuasion I needed.  That trio is like the Good Housekeeping seal of approval of stuff I dig.  I inhaled this book about sibling rivalry and personal reinvention, relishing the snappy dialogue and well-drawn characters.  My only complaint is that I was stuck reading it on airplanes and in cabs, and not poolside with a frosty tropical beverage.

The Heart of the Matter by Emily Giffin:  Okay, so I know Giffin IRL and everything.  And even though we've chatted and I've met her friends and we've exchanged notes, it's still hard for me to talk about her work without lapsing into total squealing fan-girl mode.  She's just that good.  Her trademark is creating protagonists with a contrarian point of view, e.g. the girl who sleeps with her best friend's guy, the woman who doesn't want kids, the spiteful narcissist, etc.  Her genius is taking characters we'd normally consider villains, or at least not worthy of our empathy, and makes their situations relatable... do you know how hard that is to do?  Like, impossible. 

In her newest, Giffin gives the perspective of not only the wife, but also from the woman with whom her husband cheats.  And although this kind of story generally has one distinct victim and one clear perpetrator, Giffin artfully muddies the waters in such a way that the reader understands both points of view.  In a word?  It's riveting.  Open this book on a bright summer afternoon and you'll be sunburned long before you want to close it.

So, that's it for today and I hope you enjoy the suggestions!  Later this week I'll be back with the best in Young Adult and Zombie Lit (no, it really is a category) plus everything I've already pre-ordered for the rest of the summer.

And remember, although these are excellent beach reads, there's nothing in the rules that says you can't save them for a rainy day.

What's In Your Beach Bag? (Memoir Edition)

I planned to put out my summer reading list last Friday, but I was waylaid by a stupid afternoon spent at the hospital and it threw off the rest of my weekend.  Apparently there's nothing wrong with me that can't be fixed with Xanax (or ice cream) as it turns out everything is stress-related.  Honestly, I'm fine, but I'll be even better once I'm able to check a few items off my to-do list.  As my summer reading list is on said list, let's get to it.

I've broken the books out into category, so there's no confusion.  I want to make sure the genre is clear because although I enjoy all types of books, there's a chance you care for neither YA nor zombie books.  (I can't imagine why because they're awesome, but you know, just in case.)  Also, I'm going to do this over the course of the week because my eyes tend to glaze over when I see a list of more than four or five things and I don't want anyone to miss out on a great read because I'm long-winded. 

Today's all about the memoir.  The only thing I love more than a happy ending is a true story, so when an author's able to combine both those elements, it's heaven for me.  What's ironic is I never really read memoirs before I wrote memoirs and I hate that I missed out on so many good books over the years.  But I'm making up for it now as my purchases are heavily weighted towards the genre.

Marcus of Umbria by Justine Van der Leun:  I had the pleasure of reading an early copy of this book, so those of you who know me have heard me go on and on about this memoir for months.  It's a story of a twenty-something American girl who goes to Italy to find love.  And she does... in the form of a rescued English pointer.  Capturing the magic of such books as Under the Tuscan Sun and Marley and Me, Marcus is nothing short of pure pleasure and will absolutely delight anyone who loves dogs or travel or self-discovery.  (And no need to hold your breath because the ending is totally happy.)

 

The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage, Redemption, and Pee by Sarah Silverman:  In terms of full disclosure, I bought this book because I was competing against it on the NY Times list and I wanted to see what I was up against.  I desperately wanted this memoir to be half-assed and scattered and gross because, hello, competition.  Instead Silverman's honesty and humility and talent absolutely charmed me, damn it.  (Note: I got four weeks on the best seller list with My Fair Lazy, and even though she consistently beat me, I ain't mad atcha, Sarah; your book rocks.)

 

Orange Is the New Black; My Year in a Women's Prison by Piper Kerman:  I was less than thrilled to see anything with this title, but after I started reading, I realized exactly how perfect said title is for this memoir about federal prison.  I have a great deal of respect for how Kerman takes total responsibility for her actions and how she never lapses into self pity while she recounts her time behind bars for a ten year old offense.  She tells her story in such a way that I found myself very sympathetic to not only her plight, but that of others.  What surprised me most were the little moments of kindness and compassion Kerman described. You wouldn't think a book about prison would be uplifting, and yet...  (Fine.  Apparently The Shawshank Redemption is uplifting but I've never read the novella or seen the movie.)  (I KNOW, I KNOW, it's on the list of stuff I have to do.)  Anyway, save this book for vacation, or at least a moment when you've got some time because it's almost impossible to put down.

 

Undress Me in the Temple of Heaven by Susan Jane Gilman:  From the title, I assumed this was going to be a lighthearted essay collection about a year of post-grad gallivanting across the world and fun cultural misunderstandings, which, hey, interested me enough to buy the book in the first place.  When Gilman and her friend started that journey, that's what they were anticipating, too.  However, their adventure quickly soured as they got deeper into Communist China (circa 1986) and things began to go horribly awry.  Gilman has the uncanny ability to put the reader in the center of the action, thus the last few chapters left me breathless.  The epilogue is ultimately satisfying, too.  So good, you guys.  So, so good.

 

Mennonite in a Little Black Dress by Rhoda Janzen:  Long time readers know I have a deep and abiding love for anything that smacks of being or having been Amish.  Granted, Mennonites aren't Amish, but it's close enough for me to have purchased this book on subject matter alone.  This is Janzen's memoir of going home to her Mennonite family after a terrible accident and also losing her husband to a man he'd met on Gay.com.  Again, despite less than ideal circumstances, Janzen never lapses into self-pity and she tells her story with tons of heart and humor, always a winning combination.  I feel like I'm not doing this book justice, so just read the excerpt on the Amazon page and you'll see exactly why I found this story so enthralling, okay?

My hope is that you guys enjoy these books as much as I did, so that's it for today.  Tomorrow(ish) we do fiction!  Until then, I shall be working on trying to better manage my stress.

(Possibly with my good friends Ben and Jerry.)

The Stories Behind Some Random Crap I Alluded To On Twitter

While I was on tour, people in each city asked if I was going to do a summer reading list.  Since a lot of you seem to want this, I'm happy to oblige and I anticipate posting this by Friday.

In the interim, I've got a couple of stories to update.  I tried to do most of these on Twitter, but apparently sometimes you need more than 140 characters to best express a thought.  So here goes...

Maisy's feeling better after her bout with kennel cough and I thank you all for your prayers and nice thoughts.  She was exposed about three weeks ago at doggie daycare.  I hate that in trying to give her a fun day at her favorite place, I inadvertently contributed to her getting sick.  Argh.  She's now back to her regular schedule of begging, farting, and bed-hogging, so it's all good.

Now, this should be the point where I prattle on about my beautiful new house and its magical Forks-y backyard. 

And yet I do not have a new house. 

When we left on Friday, we thought the inspection had gone well.  The owner was with us for the whole inspection, which, in retrospect, was a bit awkward.  He'd done most of the home's renovations himself and I found myself trying to justify and minimize the deficiencies pointed out by the inspector so he wouldn't feel bad.  (Interesting My Fair Lazy side note - surprisingly, since writing this book, I've actually become fairly empathetic and socially adept.)  (Not surprisingly, it's generally to my own detriment.) 

Anyway, there were little things wrong here and there, but in terms of the big picture, they seemed innocuous.  The roof didn't need to be replaced, the air conditioners were fine, the furnace was in good shape, etc.  Because the house was a short sale, we couldn't ask for credits even if there were problems.  Basically, we just wanted a fair idea of what we'd need to budget before we moved in.

Flash forward to Saturday when we got the formal inspection report.  The minor problems were all documented and each of them on their own seemed just that - minor.  Piddly.  Nothing to worry about.  However, when all the little deficiencies were put together, they told a very different story.  The inspector pointed out instance after instance of what he called "amateur craftsmanship." 

Yeah. 

THAT'S what you want to hear about the biggest investment of your life.

That term caused us to wonder that if we could see a dozen examples of sub-par work, what about all the things we couldn't see? 

On top of that, the house seemed to have more than its fair share of leaks.  Some of the skylights were damaged and they seemed like an easy enough repair, but there were enough instances of unrelated water spots throughout the house that we really began to question the wisdom of this purchase.  In retrospect, we should have hoped for a bad furnace or a shoddy roof because those are tangible fixes, whereas the notion of chasing down the source of the water is far more slippery.  Our inspector's direct quote was, "I'm certainly not impressed with any home that has this many water problems."

Even though we had the budget for the needed repairs, we decided to err on the side of caution.  Having lived through The Great Rental Home Mold Debacle of 2008, we know firsthand that you do not screw around with water and we withdrew our offer, AS WAS OUR RIGHT.

(Notice how I capitalized that last part?  Yes?  Just checking.)

We chose not to renegotiate any repair work or get a second opinion, despite the home's discounted price and all the gorgeous upgrades.  The thermal camera doesn't lie, nor does it have any skin in the game.  We trusted the findings of the skilled professional.  And honestly, we'd rather pay to remodel a smaller, less attractive house than tear down walls in trying to figure out how fix an already pretty one.  All I could picture was our old kitchen with its pre-fab pressboard cabinets stacked up on top of each other in the living room while the mold remediation guys tried to staunch the leaks.  As much as that hurt my heart, I can't imagine how much I'd hate seeing thousands and thousands of dollars worth of custom cabinetry THAT I OWNED AND WASN'T JUST RENTING in the same situation.  Especially having gone into it willingly.

Since we canceled the contract, our poor realtor's been on the receiving end of some... interesting communication from the sellers' end. 

Apparently Fletch and I are big dummies (not a direct quote) for taking the neutral third party's professional opinions as gospel, our inspector is an asshat (again, not a direct quote) for being a big fat Chicken Little, and our realtor's a moron (these continue not to be direct quotes, despite reflecting the spirit of said note) for not being able to properly explain the VALUE (in big, shout-y DOOCECAPS) we'd be getting in the lovely, albeit waterlogged, house.

I'm curious... has insulting all related parties ever been an effective sales tool? 

And if this place is such a fantastic deal, how come we're the only ones who wanted it?

The plus side is we feel like we dodged an enormous, moist bullet.  The down side is we haven't even moved to the damn town yet and we're already disliked by the only people we've met up there. 

So we start over, a little wiser and a lot drier.  There's one place that I'm hoping works out because there's a pool and a pond.  Whereas I'd never buy a place with water issues, I'd absolutely purchase a home on the basis that it allowed me to quote Caddyshack with impunity.

Anyway, I now have a summer reading list to create... and a cool, damp snout to kiss.

You've Got Questions, I've Got Beach Reads

While I was on tour, certain questions seemed to come up in each city. Often I was asked about how the dogs were (fine), how Barbie was doing (fantastic), and how Fletch was faring without me (feral.)

A lot of folks wanted to know who I'd cast in a movie about my life (Elizabeth Banks since we have the same kind of unfortunate hair), if my new neighbors bug me (they don't), and did my mother ever find out what a "reach around" was (she did.)

Questions were posed about our move to the suburbs (no, long story, house sank), if I'd sampled the local cupcakes (yes), and if I've been keeping up with the dieting and personal training (shut up.)

But most of all, everyone wanted suggestions on what books I love, thus I present my long-promised Summer Beach Reading List.

A few of these haven't yet been released, but I'm listing them anyway since they're totally worth pre-ordering them from the bookstore of your choice. Plus, they'll all be out in time to check out from the comfort of your favorite beach chair.

Here goes:

Bought by Anna David - I read Anna's Party Girl a couple of years ago and dug it because I am all about an imperfect protagonist. Knowing that a lot of her book about addiction and recovery was autobiographical made the story all the more interesting. In Bought (which is in no way based on her life) she explores the world of high-priced Hollywood escorts. There's a definite Washingtonienne vibe to it, which you may recall is one of my favorite reads, even though I have to cover my eyes on the d-i-r-t-y parts.

Hedge Fund Wives by Tatiana Boncompagni - I adore a good chick-lit-y, lifestyles of the rich and flawed, revenge-filled novel and HFW does not disappoint. Boncompagni also wrote Gilding Lily and her new book is equally glamorous and gossipy. Read with a crystal glass of chilled champagne at your side.

A Bump in the Road by Maureen Lipinski- Lipinski's novel is about what happens when a blissfully child-free couple comes home from Las Vegas with a wee bit of extra baggage. Her book reads like a memoir, which I love, and what's ironic is after writing a book about accidentally getting pregnant before being ready, she found herself in the exact same position. Plus, the story takes place in Chicago and I'm always a fan of anything local.

Dogged Pursuit: My Year of Competing Dusty, The World's Least Likely Agility Dog by Robert Rodi - I cannot read any pet books where the cat/dog/whatever dies in the end, so if you're the same way, you'll be very happy with this delightfully self-aware memoir of a year spent on the dog agility circuit. Rodi's take on the dog people is particularly classy, too. He could have gone very Best in Show and mocked everyone but instead he takes a higher road and turns the book into a fish out of water story where his own personal growth helps him assimilate. Funny, charming, and heartwarming!

The Motion of the Ocean; One Small Boat, Two Average Lovers, and Woman's Search for the Meaning of Wife by Janna Cawrse Esarey - To quote, um, myself, this is "the quintessential summer read for anyone seeking an adventure in life, love, or self-discovery." Basically this book answers the question for anyone who ever asked, "What if we just bought a boat and sailed away?" Loved this one SO MUCH.

First Comes Love Then Comes Malaria by Eve Brown-Waite - This has the same kind of vibe as the above only in it, Eve finds out what happens when she and her husband move to deepest, darkest Africa to work for CARE. (How do these gals get their husbands to do this huge stuff, I wonder?) (I haven't been able to coerce Fletch into finishing assembling all the furniture I bought a month ago.) (I even threatened him to have to keep his underwear in a drawer I assembled myself, and still, nothing!) Wait... what was I saying? Oh, yes, this memoir is pitch perfect and made me want to travel to war-torn Uganda, which is pretty much not going to happen.

I'm Down by Mishna Wolff -You know how funny this book is? This book is so goddamned funny that Fletch actually read my advance copy while we were on vacation last year, bringing his grand total of all things read since I've known him to this one memoir, two Chuck Palahniuks, three zombie books, and 8,000 gun magazines. Basically Mishna's story is about a white girl being raised in a poor neighborhood by her white father who refused to believe he wasn't black. It's not exploitative or mean; it's just genuine and hilarious and I can't recommend it enough.

Hope in a Jar by Beth Harbison - Did you love the NYT best selling Shoe Addicts series? I certainly did. In this book, Harbison brings all the snark and wit and style that made her last books such fun PLUS she throws in the elements of '80s nostalgia and an homage to Sephora. It's like she asked herself, "What kind of book would appeal completely to Jen?" Well, guess what - she nailed it. Again. (Released July 7.)

Notes from the Underwire by Quinn Cummings- Hey, remember the smartassed kid from The Goodbye Girl? Yeah? Well, instead of going down the traditional childstar path of drug binges, crotch shots, and dry cleaner robberies, she instead grew up to be one of the most talented writers I've ever read. Her book debuts later this summer and is too charming to be missed. (You'll thank me.) (Released July 7.)

Rage Against the Meshugenah; Why It Takes Balls to Go Nuts by Danny Evans- This is a powerfully honest book about the effects of male depression which doesn't sound funny... yet it is. Long before we ever became blogfriends, Danny had a post 9/11 experience that mirrors many aspects of my life with Fletch, except he had the added responsibility of children. I feel so privileged to have had an early look (and a very small hand) in this hilarious and uplifting book. (Released August 4.)

Spin by Robert Rave - Rave does to the world of PR what The Devil Wears Prada did for publishing. The only way to describe this book is dark, dishy, and absolutely delicious. I dare you to read it without trying to figure out who's really who. A perfect Labor Day weekend read! (Released August 18.)

Born Round: The Secret History of a Full Time Eater by Frank Bruni- All I'm going to tell you about this book are the names of the other people who loved it so far... Elizabeth Gilbert, David Sedaris, Curtis Sittenfeld, Nigella Lawson, Michael Pollan, Anne Lamott, Augusten Burroughs, Tom Perotta, and Adriana Trigiani. And, oh yeah, one asshole who didn't read the cover letter closely enough to get her very-lame-in-comparison blurb in on time. (Released August 20.)

So... that should keep a book in your hands and your toes in the sand until Labor Day weekend when I'll have my Fall Reading List put together.

As for me, I'm stuck reading boring old classics all summer in an attempt to get cultured up for my new memoir. Don't you worry, though... I may be stuck reading Shakespeare, but I'm sure as hell going to take the Bard to the beach.